It sucks to be an ambivert

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It's basically the worst of both worlds. I get drained and irritated by a lot of people. I also feel sick to my stomach and extemely depressed if I stay at home all day or don't socialize enough. I usually can't just socialize with anyone either. All socialization kind of helps to a degree, but most of it makes me feel unsatisfied and drained.

I suspect that I'm actually a natural extrovert dealing with Lyme's and gut issues. A lot of people with Lyme's become more introverted(drained by people.) I know there's a lot of healthy and happy introverts. I just don't think my introverted traits are actually me.

I can relate. I need to see people to keep me sane. I feel mentally better if I have contact with other people. But actually going out and travelling to meet them, sitting and talking, travelling home, is exhausting for me.

I don't know if my being more and more irritated by people is due to that. I'm just too tired sometimes to deal with the drama of some people. Although, I do have melt downs and I guess people say the same about me. I have more melt downs when I am worn out, tired and ill.

I'd say a lot of introversion is just a coping mechanism for anxiety and depression relating to the social deficit of autism. I think it's easy for people on the spectrum to "get their fill" of socializing just dealing with the minor stresses and drama of life just dealing with the people already in your inner circle, I imagine that is one of the reasons why I never had many friends as a kid since I had two siblings with serious health issues and manchild alcoholic father along with brutal just straight-up ghetto public schools so I had more than enough on my plate. Most of my teens I just went to my room and shut the door, I withdrew. You can't undo the past, you'll never have a time machine and it will always be what it was not what you wished.

I feel the same way. I also have always wondered if I'm a natural extrovert but got shoehorned into being more of an introvert by circumstances.

The main problem for me with being around people is it just get on my nerves to an extreme. And I've never found a good way not to let it affect me. It's as if my nerve endings are literally more raw and sensitive to what is going on around me so I just can't help it.

For what it's worth there's a possibility that I might have Lyme disease as well, since I had a target rash a few years ago. But Lyme is not that common where I live because there's a different type of tick that can cause a target rash without Lyme. And whatever health issues I am dealing with, I don't know if they have made that much difference in how I feel about people. More likely it is the other way around, the way I feel about people has contributed to having health problems and made them worse.

From an Ambi to another, you're not alone. You don't have socialize with just people in real life, though. What about penpals with other like minded people?

I'm kind of like you OP, basically everything you've listed in your thread. I don't really think my relatability means much, but I share your misery in more ways than one.

Well I feel being an ambi-vert very much so does suck if your only friends are introverts and extroverts.

Your extroverts still want to go out and do things much more than you do, and even if you are more comfortable joining them here and there than an introvert might be, you still might come across as the more 'shy' and 'less social' person of the group.

If it's introverts you're usually friends with, they almost never want to go out and do anything anywhere but just sit around and chill out at their house.

They're the kind of people that don't want to go out anywhere and hang out, and you find yourself being the more extroverted friend who has to drag them out of their comfort zone.

I'm a pure ambivert, the exact middle of the scale, I don't lean on extrovert or introvert, and have only ever been friends with introverts.

I like spending time with them, hanging out with them but it quickly gets extremely boring having friends I can't go to parties with, or out in general. I did manage to go swimming with some introverted friends though, so stuff like that's still okay.

Introverts need some social interaction, just in quality over quantity.

I feel pretty much the same way; though in my case, being around the right people is just amazing; could do that all day and feel great. A little worn down, but so happy for it. But we don't get to just be around the "right people", and therein lies the problem.

So yeah. It sucks, but what do you do?

I totally relate to outsider's post. I like my friends, but they never want to go out anywhere interesting.

Indeed. Give me one good relationship, and a small group of friends (all of which are friends themselves) and I'm quite happy. Being around large groups of people who's names I can barely be bothered remembering aren't exactly my idea of good social gatherings.

Aren't there blood tests for lyme disease? Or is that not what you were talking about?

There is, but they get a lot of false negatives because they Lyme bugs hide. I did test positive for another bug that's common in Lyme's, but uncommon in the general population. They still don't give a damn because I'm a healthy looking teen. The only people that seem to get treatment are middle aged people.

Speak for yourself. I'm a proud introvert but certainly not shy. I'm a loner and quite happy being that. I'm (reasonably) old and have gotten to know myself quite well and have always been a loner and have always been comfortable with that. I've always danced to the beat of my own drum and haven't ever cared what others may think of me. It's never even occurred to me to give a stuff what they think.

A lot of people confuse introversion with shyness and they are totally different and unrelated beasts.

I live alone and I can't take (most) people for more than ½ an hour at a time. I need my alone time.

I work with people but fortunately, in my job, most people just leave you alone and I can sit in my corner of the carrel, do my work and be left alone.

I'm pretty much done with people. Over the length of my life, I've seen what they have to offer and it's not much.
I prefer my own company. That's when I'm happiest. I never argue with myself. I never wanna punch my own lights out.
I laugh at my own jokes. I really like my own company and I get along really well with myself. Never a dull moment. No aggression. No compromise. No having to do things you don't want to do (I like the same things I like to do and when I choose to do them). No being nagged at. No being bossed around. No guilt trips. (MAN I'M LUCKY!) Just peace - peace and quiet - Quiet Solitude That's my motto!

I've always said, if you can't stand your own company, you're not with the right person! You need to re-evaluate yourself and fix yourself. You need to become someone you're happy to be with! Because obviously, you don't like your own company. Who else will?

I think I do have some ambivert qualities. If I'm around people I know, I will join the conversation, make jokes, etc. and I do get lonely and sometimes a bit depressed if I'm "left out". I cannot stay at home all day (sometimes all I need is to just get out of the house and go for a bike ride or something - in fact being out in public is sometimes enough, and I actually enjoy the bustle of a mall or a busy airport).
On the other hand, if I walk into a room full of strangers, I will generally keep to myself until someone approaches me. Part of this also probably stems from the difficulty I have with faces, so even if there is someone I know, I'll be hesitant to start a conversation with them.

I need a good balance of quality and quantity. I get the quantity part in my job, with lots of brief interactions with a variety of people. Too much time around the same people is kind of suffocating.