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fifasy
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11 Jan 2016, 5:33 am

My dad is ruining my life. Every once in a while, usually at least once a month he'll get angry with me and instead of talking about it he has a rage that lasts for days. He stamps around the house banging doors and being really aggressive. I feel I can't use the kitchen or the lounge and I stay in my bedroom or go out. I sometimes don't eat because I have to have a gluten free, dairy free diet and that means cooking everything from scratch. There is not much I can buy in shops to eat - fruit doesn't make me feel good, it's just a sugar hit followed by tiredness and there's little else available.

He's angry at the moment and I just can't take this anymore. I'm 30 years old and he's almost 80. He's an old man holding me to ransom, ruining my chances of being able to live healthily.

I don't know what to do. In the past I've gone for holidays in hostels in London. They're cheap but I didn't feel able to speak with the other people and it was really lonely. I have no qualifications so can't get a job and I have too many health issues anyway - which I want to improve but constant conflict with my dad means I never get the chance.



skibum
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11 Jan 2016, 1:48 pm

Can you get disability? Then you could have your own place.


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fifasy
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11 Jan 2016, 2:10 pm

I already get disability benefits. I'm in the UK by the way. I can't live where I do now. People hate me here. Things have happened and I have to get away.

My parents have the house for sale anyway but I obviously don't feel I can live safely with my dad anymore. I think I'll have to go and live on the streets somewhere and apply for housing as a homeless person.



skibum
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11 Jan 2016, 2:44 pm

Man, that is really rough. I am sorry you are going through this. I hope you can find something soon.


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tetris
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11 Jan 2016, 4:10 pm

I would watch the leaving the house and then trying to get a house, as I think if you leave a home voluntarily then you may not be able to apply for a house. I'm not entirely sure but check that out before you decide on that. Plus I think it would impact on any benefits you have if you don't have a fixed address.

Don't know where you are or how much money you have but would finding a flat not be a better idea, as I think you may be able to get benefits to help pay rent, but I'm not really sure.

Definitely research everything properly before you make yourself voluntarily homeless.



fifasy
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11 Jan 2016, 7:57 pm

For now things have calmed down. I might be alright here. tetris - thanks for the info. Would it be considered voluntarily becoming homeless if someone is fleeing aggression from someone they live with?



tetris
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12 Jan 2016, 2:50 am

I'm not sure, I only know that because I watched a few programmes on housing benefits. Maybe try the moneysavingexpert forums as they have good information on disability benefits so they might have better information regarding housing benefit, or they maybe able to point you in the right direction to find the information.



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12 Jan 2016, 6:07 am

fifasy wrote:
I already get disability benefits. I'm in the UK by the way. I can't live where I do now. People hate me here. Things have happened and I have to get away.

My parents have the house for sale anyway but I obviously don't feel I can live safely with my dad anymore. I think I'll have to go and live on the streets somewhere and apply for housing as a homeless person.


In the UK there is a new law against intimidation in a domestic setting which seems to be what you're describing. (There's a description here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35192256).

One option might be to make an appointment with your local council and explain that you're being subject to this kind of thing and that you need to move somewhere safe. You could also explain that you have a disability too and ask them for help? It is difficult though because housing is very overloaded at the moment in the UK.


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