Does the psychotherapy worldview apply or are we different?

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Back in ancient history, the 90's, I did a bunch of therapy around the real family traumas that were there in my childhood. It helped frame things and get me going. Many here have done the same.

But now that I know there is also a fundamental neurodiversity going on inside my head, I am curious about some of the assumptions and worldview that was inside of all of that work. I don't blame them for not knowing about AS, but I wonder how stuff that therapists tend to say actually apply to someone on the spectrum. Do therapists who understand AS operate differently?

As an example, therapists framed my hiding in dark small spaces and my fear and sense of flooding in victim/survivor terms. Ok, that's partially true, and the bastards had to be named. But a lot of that hiding was my senses being overwhelmed by the world, without the bad guys out there.

When I feel that kind of fear now, it comes in floating and baseless - kind of like how puppies have a "fear phase" at two months. Mine is just more lifelong. It seems more useful to work with that from what's there cognitively at this point.

Another example, is in asking how do I feel about something, say in a couples situation - usually way way too fast. If I don't have an answer immediately, then I'm "out of touch with my feelings" and need to do more soul-searching before deserving more relationship. We know for AS it just doesn't connect that way; it would have been more useful to see/acknowledge that and do something different.

I'm not looking to make this thread a heyday for the behaviorists - I'm actually more interested in how emotional work is/can be done with people like us. What is your experience or thoughts?

I believe in a composite, in general, of the Freudian/Jungian view of things, with Erik Erikson thrown in. I'm more of a Western soft of thinker; I haven't delved much into Eastern philosophy like Jung did. I do believe in the Collective Unconscious, though.

I definitely believe in catharsis as a release of pent-up emotions. I've experienced it myself.

I don't care for Behaviorism at all, without taking into account the environment. I believe we transcend our instincts; we go beyond them. That's because of the environment.

Aren't you talking more about psychoanalysis, where they always try to "interpret" your behavior?

I remember seeing a website about ADHD that talked about the pitfalls of trying to "interpret" ADHD from a psychoanalytical perspective, such as if the patient is chronically late, it might have to do with the deficits from ADHD and is not "resistance" to therapy as a psychoanalyst might "interpret."

A group of psychoanalysts always like to try to make it out that some psychological factor was responsible for your behavior, like they might say you got autism because of a "refrigerator mother" or schizophrenia because of a "schizophrenogenic mother" (I think I got the spelling right, LOL). It's like the ones that always explain your behavior as resulting from some Oedipal tendency, like saying you're disorganized because you are trying to kill your father and mate with your mother, somehow. You know, some made-up BS like that.

Is this what you're talking about?

Only somewhat. Definitely not classic Freudian psychoanalysis.

Some of the things psychotherapists say to me fall absolutely on deaf ears. "Don't isolate." Right, like my isolation is a choice. "Be yourself." Are you kidding? Me being myself would result in me being arrested every hour on the hour. I know psychotherapists don't "get" us because we don't "get" us. We're a complicated brand, if you will. Square pegs trying to squeeze into round holes. We don't shoal like zebrafish because we just can't...and probably wouldn't even want to.

Interesting question. Cant really answer it. Have considered going to a modern asperger's specialist almost more out of curiosity than feeling the need for the therapy just to see what that differences is between their approach and that of all of the shrinks I was sent to for decades (sixties through the 2000s) who had never heard of aspergers.

Some of these pre 1994 shrinks were quite helpful, most were utterly worthless.

As an aspie who grew up in a dysfunctional family I had both software issues (ie neurosis of the classic family inflicted type) and hardware differences with most kids (ie being on the autism spectrum). The latter were more important. The shrinks I went to were only trained to deal with the software issues (not all of them were any good at even that), and none with the software issues.

I wondered about this too, due to seeing a therapist once a month for a year now, and it does not seem to have any positive effects and only makes me regard things more negatively.
They use emotional words and expect me to understand what they mean - "hurt," "love," etc. They expect me to interact with others and process stimulus the way someone of neurotypical makeup does, and seem to just regard autism as a "quirk," which only makes them frustrated and tell me "not everything has a functional purpose," instead of recognising I fundamentally think in function and present information and concepts that way.
So yes, I think therapy with an autistic need to be fundamentally different than with neurotypical peoples and I've started looking for someone more ASD specific.

Good points - yes, I guess I mean psychoanalytic. Where they encourage you to free the shackles so you can "be yourself" and so on. Social workers and self-help books and that kind of thing, not serious Freud couch stuff (separate issue).

"Be Yourself" is the worst advice ever. It's taken years to figure out that I must constrain what I say and what my face does, even at the risk of sounding robotic or looking blank. Think about what you say, then review what you said for misinterpretation. Even then I make lots of mistakes. So, the better advice is to learn to be more comfortable and low-key and kinder to myself about the constraint.

It IS complicated because my family sucked, and I'm lucky to have gotten out alive. I'll never know half of it. But at this point the "hardware" issues are possibly even more pervasive and interesting.

I guess a whole new worldview is not needed, so much as therapy that is sensitive to neurodiverse patterns - someone who knows why "be yourself" is bad advice.

How do I answer this?

I think it would absolutely affect the relevance and interpretation of most therapeutic techniques. I have a psych degree but I never practised so only have textbook theory that isn't very helpful. But I know the psychologist who did my son's diagnosis and was the first person to alert me to how very autistic I am (zero self awareness here, long story) will explain things differently to me than to NT mums. Sometimes she says, "the way I usually explain this is blah ba blah blah blah" and I have no idea what she's on about, then she'll say "ok so for you the way you might understand it is.... *insert neurological explanation*". Seriously if she explained everything to me in NT speak I would never understand here. Imagine a therapist explaining everything to me in NT speak, and expecting me to think like an NT, now that just wouldn't work.

And most people could see through the "fakery," anyway.