MORE CONFIDENT THAN NT'S!! !!

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It's true, there is no denying it we aspies are more confident than NT's!
We can't read other people so we just read from our minds!! !

Have you ever listened to a NT talking and figured out why an NT isn't making any sense and talking in a way that doesn't seem natural? To put it another way, they seem to communicate unnaturally and use accent that doesn't seem necessary and use gestures or critism that isn't needed nor applicable to the conversation or subject.

When I communicate to another NT I always communicate effectively, getting to the point and expressing my true intentions as on paper. Every response I get is always negative and their tone of voice changes into one that might seem unatural and one that aways seem to be competing with me.

It annoys me becuase they seem to be commincating on another level, my apparoach to the conversation is accurate and I want a response that is intelligent, yet they seem to pick criticism on something that has no relevance to my conversation.
I'm a clear communicator and don't have any specified accent and certainly one that isn't local to my location, I ask myself whether it is my direct approach or my clear accent that seems to throw NT's off balance?

Or could it be that NT's are self aware and choose to communicate and use their accent in accordance with what the other person might think, ie mind?
I communicate to other people in a way that I would communicate to my dog, I'm know what I am talking about familar with the topic but I'm not aware of the other person or whether they are listening or what they are thinking.

It works well in certain situations for me becuase I can get people interested in my conversation, I don't change my accent or edit or miss details out that other people would seem conscious about. I don't add information that would strengthen my image, I don't include details that would make me superior/weak and above/below other people. I just communicate on a level that has all the details, straight out of the box and not edited to please other people. I read straight from the mind unaware of the other preson untill they add something uninteligent, forced or false.

I apologise members if my text lacks depth but I communicate better verbally than I do by text.

I wouldn't say I'm more confident but NTs rely on all the stuff you mentioned to make them feel confident. Funnily enough I was going to write a similar post. I seem to have some problem of holding NT attention even my friends seem to loose interest. I don't have a problem with verbal fluency but maybe it is because I don't talk to them or my voice is quieter than I think.

One the hardest NT behaviour for me to understand is 'small talk' it s like 10 minutes or so when you just meet up. What I realised is 'small talk' is important to NTs they are more like to be able to communicate with you if you do it. Quite weird but true. What is most weird thing about small talk is people act dumber than they are like they left their brains behind. The say things as if they don't already know, etc. I can't really act dumb (than I already am) but I can give them dumb or short answers. that’s what they are after is short answers = 'small talk'. Sometimes it is quite hard when a short answer doesn't cover it. I usually can't be arsed then, but if you really want to make headway realise this: They don't really care!! ! This is just their brain warming up you could be talking about anything. So sometimes (mostly) I just want to be myself so I don't bother with small talk esp. with my friends who seem to understand I need deeper conversation. But it is a skill I can use if I'm feeling in the right mood.

I hate people who are phony, or who are overly gushy. Several on line quizzes on this site talked about how friendly you should be. I am friendly, but not overy effusive and mushy.

Small talk is annoying. I'm NT, and even I find it annoying.

Maybe another way to think about it is that NT's NEED small talk to feel comfortable, just like some Aspies need alone time to feel comfortable. It doesn't make a whole lot of logical sense, but if that's what it takes for them to feel comfortable, and you actually like these particular NT's, then I guess you have to engage in the dreaded small talk.

I have two Aspie sons, one young and one in college, and a high school NT girl who would seem to be a social butterfly. But the reality is that, at times, she seems more Aspie than the other two. She's extremely bright, and she gets really annoyed with people who aren't sharp and don't get to the point. The thing that saves her is her wicked sense of humor. This sense of humor does two things:

a) it diffuses uncomfortable situations, and makes her seem more "into" the stupid small talk conversation than she really is, and;
b) it allows her to make jokes at the other person's expense, therefore pointing out how dumb the small talk conversation is.

Lucky for her, many of her friends are similar -- they all tend to make jokes at each other's expense. The difference is, they all like each other, and they are all bright, and nobody takes these put-downs seriously.

Sometimes the very thing that NT's will find most appealing about an Aspie is their "wicked rhetoric". It is unlike most NT's, and therefore you have an advantage. Just expand this advantage, and you have some elements of small talk, but YOUR way.

Kris

0_equals_true wrote

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I agree, funny enough newsreaders on BBC Breakfast also use smalltalk, " oh it looks like it will be getting warmer today ".
Really? How interesting, let me see the weather is variable so yes it will either be warmer or cooler than the previous day.
Small talk is a waste of words, at least say something that is interesting and new rather than something which isnt a regular occurance, it is a loophole in common useless knowledge, actually I don't even think its knowledge.

I don't do small talk either, but the reason why I posted was to express and share some of my experience and inner perception of NT communication and how it seems too poor to be genuine. I have never come across anybody other than a few individuals who hold an in depth topic conversation with a good level of detail and expecially whose opinion on a subject is logical.
The only possible scenario that you'll be likely to have an in depth conversation with a NT is if you are lucky enough to talk to a proffesional who shares the same interests as you.
I was lucky enough to meet a First Officer at my local international airport, I approached him and asked questions regarding his route through his career and his type rating (dash . I have a good in depth knowledge of aircraft and routes to take up towards an ATPL, so with the combination of my enthusiasm and interests/knowledge and his experience and knowledge, we both had a very long and interesting conversation.
When I approached him on anisolated path I was expecting him to walk away or ingonore me, (this would be expected if I talked to a non proffesional). Fortunalty I started the topic well with a wave of jargon and information familar to him, and immediatly we started to talk about a subject we both new about. Obviously him being a first officer I was all ears whilst asking questions in between, we both continued walking untill he reached the carpark (25 minutes later).
I got the sense at the end that he really enjoyed my conversation, I mean he didn't show many of the signs that another NT would. We both agreed on our opinons and he gave me information and advice and told me who he flies for!! ! I felt I had met somebody who would be ideal as a freind. So overpowering.

schleppenheimer wrote:

I've always wondered why certain people enjoy my conversation. I do self indulge in my conversations a little bit so I would of thought this would be off putting.

Of course, my conversation would have to be on a subject regarding their question, however wavering the conversation onto my interests and topics would induce the opposite effect.

Nice insight..

It seems to me I feel many similar things in converstation what you described in your first message.

I don't understand 'small talk'
I always end up feeling tired and ill after attempting it