Avoiding people you like

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I've been doing this recently and I don't like it. I've been sometimes making an effort to avoid the people that I like who are friendly towards me. Every time I pass one of them and we each say hi it seems a little bit more awkward than the last time. It feels like there's something they expect me to do to become more friendly but I don't know what it is. ARRRRGH! Does anyone else have this happen to them?

Never had that problem.

Tim

YES

Once you are friendly with people there is a social obligation to engage every time you see them which is INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. If I pass someone I know and don't stop to talk or say hello I'm almost relieved most of the time...it took me a really long time to realize that not everyone is OK with being "ignored" (it sounds like a much harsher word than I mean) by people they know. I remember feeling for a long time that everyone I met was someone else I had to add to the list of people I must acknowledge and interact with and after a while it becomes too much...especially since I have TERRIBLE face recognition and have no idea who I'm talking to unless I literally see them EVERY DAY for at least a few weeks.

I've been doing this recently and I don't like it. I've been sometimes making an effort to avoid the people that I like who are friendly towards me. Every time I pass one of them and we each say hi it seems a little bit more awkward than the last time. It feels like there's something they expect me to do to become more friendly but I don't know what it is. ARRRRGH! Does anyone else have this happen to them?

Yea, I get incredibly uncomfortable around people I favor as well.

Yes. It's too complicated to even try to figure it out, but definitely yes. Wish I could elaborate but it's so bothersome I don't even want to think about it. It's hard enough having friends, and then when one shows interest, I disappear? Crazy.

For me at least I think it's I care alot more about how that person views me and become too self concious to bear.

Yes...though it's usually due to a fear of said person I like taking off their mask and revealing who they really are; that hurts....

Yes...and this reminds me of Jane Meyerding's piece "Hello, Friend, Now Please Go Away":
http://mjane.zolaweb.com/unf.html

I get like that, I am not sure why. Maybe just afraid of messing it up.

Sometimes I'll just withdraw for a few days. I also often ignore text messages and voicemail if I am not feeling up to facing people. Coupled with that I often forget to charge my phone as well so I'm not the easiest person to get ahold of if I don't want to be. Now my friends know where I live though they keep on appearing at my door - somewhat annoying given the state of the house.

I keep distance from people I love...I feel protecting them from facing my suffering is love.

Ever since I was a teenager, I loved the Lyrics to 10CC's song -"I'm not in Love"...probably explains a lot to me now after all these years....

Here's some of the verses...

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lyin' there
So don't you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love, no-no
(It's because...)

Yep sometimes I don't want to see anyone, it can be annoying. It is also a symptom of Social Anxiety though.

I have come to realize,that it is almost like I am "multiple people".There are times that I feel like talking to people,maybe 10% of my life.I feel energized and highest functioning.Able to connect to some degree....but I never know "when" I am going to feel like this or how long it will last.It doesnt "kick in" just because I see someone I like,it is not with in my control.


If I am distracted by a current interest,depressed,physically ill,tired......I dont want to talk to anyone.If my thoughts are deeply involved in problem solving(this happens even if I am walking down the street...),I dont want to,or cant, inturupt my chain of thought.....my brain just doesnt shift gears very easily.Sometimes,I dont want to talk to someone because I know I have nothing of interest to say to them.....thats fine if they dont mind doing the talking,but if I am expected to contribute...the well is empty.

The upside of this is that I dont reject people who need a lot of "private time".I dont feel insulted or dislike them for it.I just assume that they have stuff to do and will get back to me when their life calms down.....sometimes,I do wonder if I have done something to piss them off and they are avoiding me because of it...it happens so often,it's hard not to wonder what I did wrong.

Yep. I do that people who are being nice to me can annoy me through no fault of their own. Basically if im not sure exactly what to do in a social situation i will avoid it (if i am able) no matter who is involved.

Some days it's just work...my mind is focused on other things, or I'm tired and I just don't have the energy to focus on a conversation and what I should say or what I should say next.

Some days I would just like to beome invisible...because my mind is close to overload just dealing with basic life...and unfortunately...people don't understand the concept of "I like you...but today I wish you wouldn't talk to me...I need a vacation".