Need Help Stopping Misogynistic Thoughts

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I have recently had many problems with several women who I really cared about rejecting me, which have led me to think unwanted bitter and misogynistic thoughts which have scared myself and others. How can I learn to appreciate women better regardless of whether they reject me or not?

Are you familiar with ocd and its companion "intrusive thoughts"? That is, the real ocd, not the improper use of the term being thrown around in current conversations about "zomg i'm like totally ocd about having my shoes in order".

Or, to put the question another way - let's say the topic was suicide...there are two versions of an issue which seem very subtly different, but the difference is actually substantial. As best of an example i can give:

1. I've been wanting to kill myself. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and part of me is scared that one of these days, i'm going to do it. I guess part of me doesn't want to do it, but something has to change, or i will. I can't take much more.

2. I've been having thoughts a lot about killing myself. They really scare me; i don't want to die.

It's Very subtle - to the point that, unfortunately, a lot of shrinks can't even tell the difference.

In example one, the person is afraid they will perform the action that part of them really wants to do. In example 2, the person is afraid of the thoughts...they aren't thoughts that began because the person has a true desire to do them - which makes them all the more scary - they are thoughts that just began 'normal' (perhaps upset or anger related to an experience like a break-up) and then took a life of their own... Which is then followed by the intense fear of 'what if i act on them!??'.

The first is someone who is suicidal, the second, someone with ocd. Your phrasing here, and on a similar issue in another post, sound potentially the latter. In which case, the solution is completely different from what it would be if you genuinely wanted to perform these actions.

I have an issue where if someone who is part of a minority group treats me badly, any reminder of that minority group will get me upset. For example, after getting harassed by a gay guy for identifying as asexual, for awhile any mention of gay people brought that harrassment to mind and got my mind churning over it.

I didn't think homophobic thoughts, per say, but I may have acted slightly homophobic in terms of trying to avoid reminders of gay people. But I didn't get mad at myself for it because I understood the reason I was feeling that way, and because I've had similar experiences in the past.

I just gave myself time and distance and I got over it. Now, while I occasionally think about that guy who harassed me, I don't automatically think of him whenever someone mentions gay people, and the intensity of emotion when I do think of him is much less.

I'be experienced a lot of rejection. I've also been abused by my mother. I've also had women try to exploit me and play mind games on me. As a result, I am very uncomfortable interacting with women. What has helped me is pursuing friendships with women. I am speaking of purely platonic relationships--take sex and romance completely out of the picture. By forming positive relationships with a few women, I've learned that not all women are mean or out to exploit me. By having nice women in my life, I also learned how to respond to differentiate between safe and abusive women. I've become more open to forming relationships with women because I know things won't always turn into a disaster.