Is withdrawal causing me to act like this?

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So after going cold turkey on zoloft I experience deep depression, helplessness, and suicidal thoughts for around 3 months and about 2 months ago I started feeling better. Since September I've been taking Ativan 1 mg a day to calm me down and started tapering since December. I have 2 weeks left to finish but I can't help in finding faults in everything I do or say. For example when im on the streets and would take a long way instead of a shortcut and would beat myself up about it and think i'm weird for taking the long way, I would question the way I walk, write, look, and often will forget for a few seconds of what I'm supposed to do next. This never happened to me before and I'm worried that I'll not go away. Sometimes I can't finish my sentences cause I think i'll say the wrong thing and still often get suicidal and negative thoughts such as I won't be able to improve, never have friends, get married, and live a lonely life. Is it just me or are all these possible side effects from benzo withdrawal?

Well, depression is common in autistics, They undergo constant trauma and struggle. (Admittedly it has something to do with differences, We always have something holding us back. For me it is my Dysgraphia. Also Comorbid Conditions like SPD are very very, common in autistics. Autistics in General are infamously picky eaters. There is s