Aspergers or crazy?

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Hi I'm new here and I've been trying to pin point my symptoms for some time now. I was under the impression I was crazy for a long time (maybe I am haha) but now I'm leaning towards Asperger's. I did the following tests online;

AQ test - score 34/50
RDOS test - score 177/200

Tick a lot of the boxes from the female traits list at help4aspergers

Had a melt down at hospital a couple of years back (2008ish) and the doctor at the hospital wrote "Dyspraxia Apraxia - Slurred speech" on my records. As far as I'm aware this wasn't an official diagnosis, just a passing comment.

Diagnosed as Anorexia 14/15 - I personally don't remember being off my food and denied it at the time. My weight stayed low but stable over the next 7 years until I had my thyroid removed because of Graves' Disease, I then gained 2 1/2 stone and it stabilized there.

Very clumsy as child, always falling/tripping and banging my head, social services were called at one point as they suspected abuse (according to my mum).

Childhood was a nightmare didn't fit in anywhere, really tried and mimicked others most of the time.

Lots of angry outbursts as a child especially around the 14/15 mark as things were really stressful, started getting called a psycho.

Never been able to make friends, never been able to keep a job more than a few months.

Brother is an Aspie.

Just trying to get an idea really. My mum died 5 years ago and my Graves' was diagnosed around the same time and I became massively interested in it, obsessively so. After my Graves' was cured I became massively interested in my mental health. My concern is of course that this is somehow some sort of Munchausen thing so I don't have to deal with the death of my mum.

I did see several councillors after her death who said it was just depression but I was certain it was more than that. I didn't really feel I got anywhere with them, 1 I had my guard up with and he kept saying you need to get out more, smile more but then said something like "then again, some people are just a bit odd".

Are the scores of those tests pretty conclusive do you think? Is the Dyspraxia connection relevant? Cheers

Yes dyspraxia is far more common in those on the spectrum.
You sound like you are on the spectrum to me.

No, the online tests are not conclusive in any way. They don't take the place of an official assessment by a qualified psychiatrist or psychologist. The dyspraxia observation is relevant, but not definitive. Sibling a diagnosed Aspie is also very relevant.

The "counselors" you saw are not qualified to give the diagnosis, and it doesn't sound like they were very knowledgeable about autism. Don't discount them totally but do recognize their limitations.

I think you could benefit by an answer one way or the other about whether you have an autism spectrum disorder, and counseling for your experiences and needs in light of the diagnosis, if you have it. It takes a long time and some persistence to get an official diagnosis, so don't obsess about it, but maybe set the process in motion.

You are not crazy. It sounds like you are quite likely ASD and you would benefit from seeking a diagnosis.

Thanks guys, that has put my mind at ease a little. Maybe not so mad after all. I'll take my test scores and the list of female traits to my GP next time I see him. I think it's alluded me for so long because my brother presents very differently. He's much more quiet and serious whereas I'm much more loud and childlike I suppose (unless reading medical stuff of course) then you probably couldn't tell us apart. Got to laugh haven't you.

Take care. X

Hi guys, little update;

I saw a psychiatrist the other day because I was quite suicidal over Christmas. He happened to be a specialist in Autism although he was there to assess my mood and not diagnose me with Asperger's. Referral has been put in and I will be seen in Wakefield in 2 years.

My husband asked him if he thought I had Munchausen's and he said no, husband followed up with; so what is going on with her? To which the psychiatrist replied; "Well, I can tell you about her personality. She struggles with social skills, she struggles to communicate and she's a perfectionist." He's prescribed me with Mirtazapine, 15mg a day to start then 30mg a day from then on.

Is it safe to say that I do for now? I'm overanalysing everything at the minute, I'm in a seriously bad routine of sitting at the computer for 14 hours a day researching different mental health stuff and I'm struggling to do anything else. People keep saying I need to stop researching but I'm finding it nigh on impossible.

Is this a "good enough" answer for now? I can't do this for another 2 years while I wait.

You're a cuckoo bird---but you're a nice cuckoo bird.

Seriously: It's good enough. If you're not an Aspie, you're at least an Honorary Aspie.

I tell you what you should do, smergyl.

Instead of obsessing over the actual diagnosis, or the entity that might be you, break down your problems and issues into discreet parts and work on managing those.

- depression - you already know about
- repetitive action (sitting at computer 14 hrs) - come up with a strategy to do something else
- social difficulty - describe a situation here and ask for opinions - you'll get some for sure, most of them supportive
- communication - do you have trouble finding a word? or is it the social anxiety of speaking? What helps? What worsens it?

And so on.

There is no "cure" for Aspergers but there are management techniques. You can treat all the "symptoms" / issues the same as if you did have it. You are also entitled to go to any ASD support groups you may find, and like kraftiekortie said, you are welcome to come here for support.

Thanks guys;


- depression - go to therapy/take tablets, what else can I do?

- repetitive action - computer use, overthinking everything? How to fix? I've set myself a few goals for the morning but other than that I have nothing to do for the majority for the day. How do I find what I can do? Want to do? What am I good at?

- social difficulty - I honestly don't know what to say about this, I know I suck at it but I don't know why. People respond in a bad way when I attempt to make conversation. When I don't attempt to make conversation and just smile they also respond in a bad way so what is the solution? Thus far it's pretty much just been stay in the house and not deal with it. I don't understand the back and forth rules, I know that much. I can't strike up a conversation with a stranger for example, I wouldn't know where to start, how to continue it, how to hold my body language in the process, when to break it off etc. I ramble sometimes too.

- communication - Don't know why he said I struggle to communicate. I can speak, write, answer questions etc. Maybe socially I struggle. I can't describe my feelings very well I know that much. Other than that I don't know.

You posted this in the General Autism Discussion section of the forum. WP has a lot of subforums that focus on these specific areas. I recommend you post specific questions in those subforums, for instance, social skills, and see what people offer. Get as specific as possible - give a situation, what you said/did, what other people said/did, and what your question about the experience is.

Good luck. I am finding you pretty easy to communicate with!

Cheers Bea, I'll have a think about it and ask hubby for his opinion. He might be able to get more specific than I can.

Yes the Traits you listed can be aspergers traits however its impossible to diagnose on traits alone, not only that, no one here is qualified to diagnose anyone..

Traits are different than symptoms, Traits are a RESULT of symptoms, for example, a person may dislike loud and crowded areas DUE TO a sensory sensitivity, but there are other things that can cause that trait and there are many disorders with common TRAITS such as:
- Borderline personality Disorder
- Social Anxiety
- being an Introvert
- OCD
- ADHD
- Nonverbal Learning Disorder
- PTSD
to name a few..

Symptoms of Autism vary but they can be boiled down to 4 MAIN SYMPTOMS,
- Inability or great difficulty in socialization or communication
- RRRO (Repetitive, Routine, Rituals, Obsessions)
- Sensory Sensitivities
- Executive Function Issues

all of these symptoms need to be present at the earliest age of 18 months and need to be disabling to SOME degree.

If your interested in a diagnoses i suggest seeing a Psychologist and he may REFER a autism specialist.

Hi Smergyl, I agree you sound pretty aspie from your posts, but as others have said, I can't know for sure. You sound a lot like me before I was diagnosed; I obsessed over my traits and how well they fit the criteria, battled with the feeling that it was all in my head, and did everything I could think of to convince myself my experiences were real, not something I was unconsciously making up in order to fit a label. BeaArthur has some good advice. Once you have a good handle on which symptoms you have, you can start deciding how you want to go about addressing them. For me, sensory issues were (and are) my primary problem, so I did a lot of research into sensory solutions that work for a lot of autistics, and implemented them. I now have a box full of various stim toys/fidgets, a weighted vest and blanket, and a sensory corner in my basement, which includes a swinging chair, a mini trampoline, a small tent for self-isolation, and a small night table covered in various LED lamps that are visually pleasing. All of this helps me relax and feel more comfortable in my own skin.

If social issues are the main topic you want to address while you wait on your diagnosis, you can take the self-help route, such as reading books on body language, practising conversations with your husband, and asking him about interactions you don't understand out in the world or on TV. You can also look and see if there are any social skills groups available for adults in your area. I've been attending one run by graduate students at my university for about two years now, and I've found it very helpful. When you learn a new skill, see if you can practise it on other people (preferably without their knowing, if they're strangers). The more you practise, the smoother it will become, and I can say from experience that it feels good when you know you pulled off a social skill smoothly.