Can anxious children come across as "wimps"?
Is there a difference between anxiety and being a "wimp" or a "wuss"?
I was a very anxious child, and I used to back out of doing things what could be dangerous. I wasn't a goodie-goodie, I was just afraid of hurting myself or even dying.
I could never swim properly because I was always worried about getting my head under the water. When the other kids went into the deep end I would put armbands on so I could be with them in the deep end, then got told off by the life guards for being in the deep end with armbands on.
I would be scared to jump across small streams in case I might fall in, so the other kids had to make a bridge for me to cross over, out of wood and big stones.
I was scared to ever use a skateboard, or go down steep hills on my bike, in case I might fall off.
I was afraid of spinning rides because I might feel sick afterwards.
I could be daring though. I loved adventure and sneaking in places I shouldn't, with other kids. But if it was anything that had a risk of me being hurt, I wouldn't do it.
Is this to do with anxiety? Or was I just a wuss?
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Female
Being a wimp or wuss is really a matter of perspective. I'd consider myself a wuss by comparison to a professional dare devil or stuntman. Some people are a but more anxious and careful than others and that can make them seem a bit wussier but it can also make them appear more wiser as well.
I have been called a wimp or a wuss many times and there is a lot of truth to that statement. They say that 18 year olds make the best soldiers because they are fearless and don't think of death but I know I did ALL. THE. TIME. What's really weird was that as a child I was fearless at times, especially when it came to water. I almost got myself killed a few times as a very young child and it took me many years to understand why my parents got upset.
I have always been very fearful. When I was little, I couldn't go down slides or up ladders or anything. I still can't swim or ride a bike. Canoeing terrified me the only times I did it, and I can't seem to get past the bottom footholds on a rock climbing wall. I think I have an overactive fear reflex. I suppose I would be considered a "wimp", but "wimpiness" is really just anxiety, as you said.
Anxiety and wimpiness have something to do with each other.
Anxiety often leads to inaction, which may be dubbed wimpiness under certain conditions.
You can be anxious and still act confidently despite the anxiety, thereby not being a wimp.
And "act confidently" also includes standing one's ground and refusing to participate in stupid dares.
You can "not dare" and still not be seen as a wimp as long as the presentation is done well.
It's a bit of an attitude thing. How much you show that you're afraid.
Obviously not always, if the context is stereotypically wimpy you will be called a wimp if you don't partake in the dare or if your presentation involves having the word "wuss" written on your forehead with permanent marker (by that I mean saying stuff like "I'm scared, where's mommy?").
@Joe90 Personally I think many of the things you've listed have wimp-potential. But, of course, you shouldn't care whether or not I think of you as a wimp.
Not everyone needs to be impressed.
Back in the 90's I had a coworker who was a Vietnam veteran. In one conversation he mentioned he was bothered by the fact that he never had the bravery to do some of the things the other guys did. Since he was doing okay with his life I asked him what they were doing now & he said "feeding worms". We're apes. Some strive to be Alphas in everything they do, and they do so with bravery and fearlessness. The Zetas tend to live longer in every ape species with such a hierarchy. It also turns out they have reproductive success equal to the Alphas, but researchers didn't want to see it for decades (DNA testing helped too).
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“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”
―Carl Sagan
I grew from an anxious child into an anxious adult. I was a huge wimp and still refer to myself as one--only half jokingly. But...I also have been in some situations where others have either commented on my ability to tolerate high levels of pain for extended periods of time, or have commended me for doing something that called for courage.
Some of the times the situation called for courage, I didn't realize the extent of it till I was in the middle of it. Then, (after the "oh crap!" moment of realization) what to do, except to carry on the best I could? I am still anxious and still probably come across as a wimp, but I also have found an ability to mentally remove myself from a situation if I need to, and do what needs to be done...and think about it later.
I do think you can be anxious, but still have courage. The person who thinks of you as a wimp does not know the strength of mind and the level of courage it takes those of us with anxiety to carry on with day to day life sometimes. (I do have a diagnosed anxiety and panic disorder.) And then, with anxiety on board to begin with, for us to carry on in the face of the adversity that, sooner or later, is an inevitable part of life...a person who does not struggle in this area does not know the force of the battle we must fight-- because it is an invisible battle.
I do not care too much about what people think of my anxiety. I know I am viewed as a wimp sometimes...but it is ok. The people who think I am a wimp do not know how strong I need to be, every day, just for normal stuff. They will never get it. I do my best and my best has to be good enough.
OP, and everyone else who struggles with wondering if you are a wimp for your anxiety...if you face it and carry on the best you can, you are probably far more courageous than you think.
Just my 2 cents.
_________________
"Them that don't know him don't like him,
and them that do sometimes don't know how to take him;
He ain't wrong, he's just different,
and his pride won't let him
do things to make you think he's right."
-Ed Bruce
No, I don't think you were a "wuss" or a "wimp." I don't think the other kids did thought so, either.
They built bridges for you, right? If they thought you were a "wuss," they probably would have called you a "wuss" instead.
I would say that you were either a person with anxiety--or a person who was cautious. As the other posters stated, it's a matter of perspective.
Even if you were a "wuss" as a child, that fact has no relevance to your present existence.
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