Need Advice. Should i come out at school about my Aspergers?

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Hi everyone,

I was wondering if i some of you on here could give some advice with a situation i am having at school. By the way i am in 9th grade. Since April is Autism/Asperger Syndrome awareness month, my Guidance Councilor at school asked if i would be interested in doing a presentation about me having Asperger Syndrome and what it is like to the kids in my grade and the kids who are in my old Middle School (7th and 8th grade). I told my Guidance Councilor that i would be interested in doing a Presentation to the 7th and 8th grade kids in the other school since i don't know them, and i can represent other Aspie and Autistic kids there, but i told her that i am unsure on whether or not i want to do a presentation for my grade and tell them that i have Aspergers. In a way i want to tell my grade about my Aspergers because they all see my symptoms and i am sure they wonder why i do the things i do, and telling them i have Asperger Syndrome might make them understand why i am the way i am. However i am also afraid that telling them might make things worse and possibly end up causing some of the kids in my grade to use it against me in the future with other kids. I am really not sure what to do. My best friend knows that i have Aspergers and she thinks that i should tell people because she believes it will make things better for me at school and make some kids be more accepting to me because my Aspergers is something i can't control. She doesn't see some of the kids being complete jerks and using it against me. I also keep thinking to myself though that i should tell my grade because to tell you the truth i got nothing really to lose, things can't get any worse then they already are. I don't have that many friends at school, maybe about 4, and 3 know i have Aspergers so i don't think i would be losing any friends if people found out. I have to make a decision soon and i am not really sure what is the best thing to do. What would you do if you were me? Do you think if i came out about my Aspergers it would cause more harm then good? Or on the other hand do you think it would make things better letting people know why i am the way i am.

I feel the same way you do. I can understand that this teacher/counselor is trying to help by having you be honest with your peers, and at the same time show your peers that people with Aspergers are normal people, but she is putting you in a very tough spot. Go with your gut, its probably right. Its not fair to you to "alienate" yourself in front of your school, but it would be a good learning experience for you and your classmates. In the end, listen to what your heart tells you.

If you are the least bit uncomfortable about it then don't do it. You know the situation better and will have to put up with the other kids. The counselor does not. And it is odd that he would approach you really. There are very strong privacy considerations here and school rules. So I think you are smart to have concern about how this would effect you. Is there another counselor you can mention your concerns to.

Thinking back to high school, there is no way in hell I personally would have EVER done that, especially at the beginning of my high school career. Kids are still too dumb in high school to be able to function socially without having a label for everyone, it's what they use to tell them how to react to that person. You'd be "that weird autistic kid" the rest of the year. People wouldn't know what to do with you, and some of the kids that talk to you would just trying to see how weird you could get, for their own amusement. I went to two separate high schools in two different countries and found that no matter where you go kids are less than human to each other. Unless you are popular enough to get away with it, I think it'd be an isolating experience for you. I admire that you want to educate your classmates about it, and I wish people would have educated mine, but in reality high schoolers are still at that age where they can learn something without applying it practically...they'll watch videos of how much bullying hurts (for example) and sympathise with the character after he commits suicide, and then turn right around and make fun of someone's clothes for looking different. I did this. It's just how kids are wired. College is different though, and if you do articles in your school paper or something like that when you are at uni you'd find a VASTLY different reaction. I just don't think "coming out" like that in high school is such a good idea. Sorry to be so discouraging, I don't mean to.

I was just recently diagnosed with AS, but I was diagnosed with sensory integration disorder at the beginning of hs, and at least for me it was helpful to tell my friends, because then they had an easier time understanding why i was the way i was. Talking to the whole school is different than talking to your friends, but I don't think you would lose any friends, current or potential. There are probably some kids you know who are genuinely curious, and might be more open once they understand a little more about you.

I think if you came out in an assembly to everyone, they'd realize what makes you the way you are and depending on what kinds of kids they are, they'd be more understanding and tolerant. I'd talk again to your counselor and see what the best route is...do a solo presentation, have an advisor of sorts introduce you, or have them do the presentation for you altogether. Any way you slice it, it sounds like a good idea.

PS: you might be surprised how many of the students come up to you afterwards and tell you they know someone else on the spectrum. You may even get apologies and thanks. Understanding changes everything.

If I were you, I wouldn't tell anyone, especially in those particular grades. Middle and high schoolers are very immature when it comes to this kind of stuff and will use it to their advantage. If you want to be harrassed for the rest of your high school life, go ahead. If you don't, I'm reccomend staying out of the lime light. Trust me, doing a presentation on this particular subject will do more harm than good.

dude going to school is tuff. it is a fact of life unless you are rich, when i was a kid nobody knew about as, or even autism for that matter. we had to find a way

No. Don't tell until you get into situations that you control. School is not one of them. When you do, be prepared, because nearly everyone you try to explain it to doesn't get it, even if they like you and want to understand. Young kids are incapable of it and deal with the unknown through negative means- teasing, bullying, etc.

Don't do it. Don't even do it in the gr. 7 / 8 school. Someone there could have older brothers or sisters at your school, and it will leak and become a nightmare for you.

I think it appauling a G. Councellor would ask an Aspie to do this. Talk about putting you under a microscope! Not a place most Aspies want to be!

If you agree to do anything, maybe tell him you will write a letter about being a student in the school (anonomously) with Aspergers. Honestly, I would NOT NOT NOT do it.

NO WAY!

Even if most of the kids in the school accept you, there will be many who won't, or who will then see you as easy prey. Ignore the councellor- what the hell are they thinking? What they're suggesting is akin to pasting a sign to you saying "I'M A ret*d BULLY ME NOW!". I know there are many people who want to fight for the acceptance of autism in society, but this isn't the way to do it. Singling yourself out as being weird and inferior, if not downright subhuman (yes, this is how some people, especially highschoolers, percieve people with learning disabilities) would be like putting blood in a pool full of sharks and then going swimming in it. The best thing you can do is to keep quiet- trust me, I was the subject of several long-term bullying campaigns when I was at school, and still live with the after affects. You don't want to be in that sort of position. Once you're singled out for abuse, that's it. If you want to be open about your condition, wait till you're an adult surrounded by mature peers. You won't change anything by being a martyr.

Yes, my gut feeling would be don't do it....let's see the guidance counsellor get up and talk about their "issues"...(now that WOULD be enlightening!!).

I geez, I can just see it now!

Over the loud speaker:

"Hello, my name is ____, and I am a depressed alcoholic who is in the process of a divorce due to my controlling tendencies and treating my spouse like an inferior nitwit who does not do anything right... I a will be in the guidance office, Monday - Friday 10:00am to 2:00pm accepting appointments to help you with career planning, councelling, or when you need an arbitrator with your teachers... If you have any problems at all, don't hesitate to see me!

I have to with the other voices here - while I can see your guidance counselor's good intentions very clearly, there's just too much chance of some evil-minded little scrote deciding to use that as ammunition to get at you.

I had enough trouble at school without an extra label - had I been given an actual definition, I'd have been far worse off.

Don't do it.

Perhaps some people are misunderstanding a little of what is going on, and i am sorry for not being specific enough. First off my Guidance Councilor didn't just call me up and put this on my shoulder, to tell you the truth i went to her. I wanted changes to be made in the school. I wanted more teachers and students to get more aware of Asperges and Autism. I talked with the Guidance Councilor about putting up a bulletin board this month with information about Aspergers/Autism. I also worked with her in getting announcements done in the morning with small information about Aspergers/Autism which was on the PA this morning. Along with all these things i asked her if she would be willing to do a small presentation about Aspergers to either the whole school or some classes. She said yes and that is when she asked me if i would want to speak at one of these. That's when i told her that i am not sure. She was in no way pressuring me to do it. Also if i do, do it, it wouldn't be in front of the whole school. Turns out i would go into a few Health classes in my grade and talk about it. And i am a little bit tempting to. I mean many of the kids in school have been harassing me and making fun of me as it is and they have no idea what is wrong with me. So as i said really either way it seems that things can either change or stay the same IMO. I have told a few kids who are 1 and 2 years older than me and even though they didn't know what it was, they were completely understanding. I mean school is already a nightmare for me so i really don't think it can get any worse. Whether the kids know i have Aspergers or not they are going to make fun of me. I am still debating on what i want to do,and i have to make a decision soon. Thanks so far everyone for your honest advice i really appreciate it. Please keep it coming.

Alot of people here are forgetting one thing. You are not alone as having asperger's in your school. Chances are very good that there are several more students who have it, but don't know it, and cannot get the help they need because they are simply unaware of the condition.

If you do it, you would be self sacrificing your own reputation, and possibly setting yourself up as a target to the bullies. On the other hand, you could be doing way more good than harm by helping many others who didn't really think about why they are different from everyone else, and they might possibly get the help that they also desperately need.

So, don't do it for selfish reasons, or do it for unselfish ones. Tough choice eh?