Aspie Childhood was hell, can anyone relate?/Going to first

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First I want to say that I'm high funtioning.
But it my childhood, I couldn't speak out my feelings. Instead (unfortunatly) they were extreme outbursts.

I was always being put into schools and classes with mental retardation.
I was always embarrast to be placed in those situations, that got me really mad but It didn't get me anywhere but punishment and trips to the hospital by my mother.

Now I'm going to be grauduating from High School in a few months, and thank God they were Mainstreem and learning disability classes.


This Friday I'm going to my first Asperger group meeting, but what I'm afraid is, is that it's ran by the place "Lighthouse" in which also ran a after school program that I went to and extremely hated because the program was for mentally ret*d people. Plus both is ran by the same person.
But I guess this is a new experiance and they must have reconized AS now.




I'm sorry, I know I must be talking about 2 different subjects that relate somehow. I hope it's not too confusing.

_Eric

People with Asperger's syndrome have IQs in the average to above average range, so if they treat you like you're ret*d at the meeting, run! I can not really relate to you. I was always in regular or advanced classes. But I guess I can relate to you in that I get punished for acting certain ways when I'm just trying to communicate.

I was mainstreamed in school, but I had to take remedial math and speech classes. I also had to take a Summer School Math course just to pass Consumer Math! I then had to take the math part of my Diploma Exam 3 times before I passed it.

I was seen as nurky and weird because I couldn't tell the difference between a Gucci bag and a carpet bag. I also wasn't allowed to watch Soap Operas, and for these sins, my classmates thought I was bad because I thought differently from them.

I am an Adult now and realize that my mind is just different, and there is no Right, Wrong, and Normal. Just people who are too biased for their own good.

I don't have TV and never have. Kids used to ask me what I did with my time and when I said, "reading", they just laughed at me.

They LAUGHED! WOW!! !! !

REMIND THEM that the TV is called the "idiot box", and "boob tube"(boob is slang for IDIOT)

I've been trying to reconcile a memory, and I just realized. I didn't watch much TV, because my mother had parties(I went to my room where I had NO TV), and watched the news, etc... A LOT! I HATED it! So what did *I* do? READ!! !! !! !! ! I read into the night! If I wasn't reading, I was working with electronics, etc... I guess I should thank my mother for watching TV I HATE, and having parties I HATED. And the parties kept me awake ALSO!

Steve

Wow!



Anyway, I was wondering if anyone could relate to my experiances in my childhood, or has any Aspie have had horrible outbursts constaintly in their childhood?

I just want to seem like I'm the only one.

My problems weren't academic, but social. I did well in the academic areas at school, and particularly liked languages. However, I was always on the outside socially and was terrible at sports or anything athletic.

It is unfair that anyone should be treated as ret*d if they aren't. At my worst, however, I sometimes think I need intensive training in life skills (cooking, driving, etc.) There are some days I feel I am no better than people with mental retardation and, comparative to my educational attainment, perhaps even worse. Some people with genuine disabilities perform well beyond anything ever anticipated of them when they were young. I wouldn't want to be in their place, as some of these people have far more serious health issues than I could ever imagine. If it hadn't been for my first grade teacher, that very well might have been me. Sometimes, however, I believe if it hadn't been for my kindergarten teacher, I might have been doing more with my life today. Still, in all, I like my life. I just want to keep learning and growing. Is it too late for me, at 42? (Realistically, I'll never be like Roger Bannister, but I'll continue to hold on to his example as I work toward my own goals.)

Last edited by 9CatMom on 24 Apr 2007, 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I had a few outbursts when I was younger... the worst is something of family legend... at 3 I threw a full size folding table at my pre-school teacher because she scribbled on my picture with the wrong crayon. My brother had more frequent outbursts which was really hard on him since he's a hardcore pacifist.

I started out doing well with my academics but had problems as I got older.

One of my teachers suggested to my mother that I was mildly ret*d and I was treated as such throughout my life.
I didn't talk but I was smart. I had a lot of problems understanding the directions of homework and group assignments were an absolute nightmare (still are in college but I cope).
The school system would try to put me in LD classes and my mother, bless her heart, would pull me out.
The only thing that did bother me is that she would also pull me out of classes because she thought that they were too hard for me thus creating more boredom and apathy on my part when it came to coming to class on time and participating in school.
It was almost as if she gave up trying to figure me out and just accepted defeat. Thus she labeled me as a "late bloomer" and told me she would be happy if I brought home a C. I was hurt by her lack of confidence in me and my self esteem hit the floor.

Funny thing is, my brother, was the "genius" of the family yet I am the one with the career and he is the one living with my mother at 27 years of age, unable to function. My brother is one that I also suspect has asperger's but my mother refuses to see that there is anything wrong.

He's the misunderstood genius and I'm the "late bloomer" or in other words "not so bright".

In other words; I understand how it feels to be smart but treated like you are not. It leaves huge emotional scars and can cause you to become bitter towards many things in life. I think that this knowledge of yourself can, instead of discouraging you, give you the courage to prove otherwise and I wish you the best.

I’ve proved everyone wrong so far.

Social problems all through school but went to regular classes...OH and then I got extra Gym classes cause I couldnt catch a ball*LoL*...which ofcourse made the other kids laugh even more :-/
Tossed a few freakouts and had to stay in during breaks.
Always got sent home with notes.
But I just thought it was because I was special and would always stand up for myself.
Now,looking back..I wonder why nobody ever thought I needed help,but guess AS was quite unknown here back then(Im 28)

uhh,where did that smiley come from? I meant to write 20-eight

Frankly, I don't even know why they INSIST on having "art". BUT.... It either means NOTHING(so DON'T HAVE IT), or the child may be really into it(so DON'T DESECRATE THE WORK)! Your "teacher" was an INSENSITIVE IDIOT! Why should they have such a jerk TEACH!?

I DID have a lot of social problems. I was in a mainstream school, but it might as well have been for ret*d people. They didn't try to recognize higher acheivement, encourage it, and provide more chances for education! Outside of my interests, english, curiousities that were satisfied, and a few other things, I was not allowed to progress at my own pace.

Steve

I hope you enjoy the meeting, if not, who ever says you have to go back!
congrats on your graduation, I am sure things from here in will be better as far as school and choice go for you!

What kinds of electronics did you work with?

Oddly, At first, while a gullible loner and generally strange, early on I was very artistic and found myself in a gifted and talented program. Later on though... I slowly descended into complete disinterest, which later landed me in special ed classes. You would have had to be there, I can't explain it.

I was very violent in primary school... got angry easily and hit people... I also bit my nails, my lips and fidgeted and moved a lot so I just ended up being labled nervous. I don't count the violence as AS, but the nail biting and moving were DEFINITELY stimming.

When I got older and people around me got socially smarter and more evil, I was used and manipulated by people due to gulliblity and failure to understand behind the obvious (people's true desire and meaning). I also managed to make a lot of people hate me due to a complete lack of TOM.

Luckily I have never been labled as mentally ret*d, at least not in school because I am sort of forced into getting excellent grades by my mom (I have been labled as genius which is not true at all. I'm very smart, but not a genius). However, one of the reasons I ABHOR meeting people, especially those who don't know me well or I have just met is because they think that if someone is socially ret*d and doesn't get things soon, they must also be intellectually challenged. My gait doesn't help their assumptions either.