What I worry most about finding a new job

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At interviews or on applications they usually ask if you have any disabilities that may interfere with your work.

I'm afraid that if I say yes I will be turned down for sure, simply because most employers can't be bothered to recruit someone who may need a bit of extra support (but not make make it obvious that you are turned down because of it). But I'm afraid that if I say no they might actually take me on, then as soon as they find out that I get easily overwhelmed due to anxiety attacks, or not understand some instructions, or find I seem a bit odd in some of my mannerisms, they might think I'm just a "bad worker" and get rid of me. I will feel embarrassed to suddenly say "oh yes by the way I have Asperger's, ADD and anxiety", right when it's too late because they'll just look at me and say "well we did ask you on the application/at the interview if you have any disabilities and you said no". Or they might think I'm just faking, being so I'm not a stereotypical Aspie at all.

Does this worry anyone else about looking for a new job? I want a new job, but I keep putting it off because of this. I wish I didn't have any labels or anything so that I can just be up for the job and not be assumed odd or stupid or wimp.

A difficult situation, I know. I've had several spells of long-term unemployment since I entered the job-market 30 odd years ago. It's particularly difficult once you have a CV with very long gaps in it that need to be explained (and I didn't even get diagnosed until a few weeks ago, at age 45).

However, there are a couple of common misconceptions that I can maybe re-assure you about (for other readers, please note that I am taking specifically about the UK).

Firstly - the law says that you are not obliged to mention health and disabilites until AFTER you have a firm job offer. The only exceptions are where specific disabilities may actually make the work impossible to do (for example, a job where your condition might put people in danger). They are allowed to ask if you need special arrangements in order to attend an interview - but it is entirely at your discretion whether you answer that question or not, and they are not allowed to take answering "no, I need no special arrangements" as definitely confirming that you don't have any health problems or a disability.

Secondly - You DO NOT have to be claiming Job Seekers Allowance to have full access to the specialist services at your local Job Centre. They can put you in contact with a Disability Employment Advisor, who can conduct an assessment of what work is suitable for you, and if appropriate, can enrol you on schemes to improve your chances of finding employment (for example, guaranteeing you an interview with 'disability friendly' employers who have a suitable vacancy). This is all confidential, of course; they will reveal nothing to a potential employer if you don't want them to - and they have to take your conditions into account for the interviews at the JobCentre (e.g. speaking to you in a private room if you find the public area too distracting).

I won't pretend that finding the right job will be easy, sadly it's difficult even for many NT people these days - but I hope that this advice at least helps you onto the first (and scariest) rung of the ladder. Best of luck!

I never had the experience of looking for a job post-diagnosis, but I expect I'd feel much the same, i.e. I think you've appraised your situation pretty accurately. It's illegal for employers to discriminate against disability, but it's hard to enforce that, and I believe most employers are nervous about hiring folks who have any attributes that might conceivably make them less productive, they'll always go for the most able candidate. On the other hand, when I first realised I was probably autistic, before diagnosis, I could see how my autism was perplexing some of the people I worked with, and how their expectations were very likely to be impossible, and that scared me a lot, so trying to wing it might not be wise either. All I can suggest is to look for employers who pride themselves on being "equal opportunity" and hope that some of them mean it, and look for the kind of work that won't be too incompatible with your particular traits. I got by as a lab technician for many years (didn't even know I was autistic for decades). Occasionally they'd impose some Aspie-unfriendly stuff on me, but most of the time they were satisfied if I just did the science work properly, which I didn't find difficult. I didn't have to interact with people very much if I didn't want to.

The way I view it, you are only obligated to answer "yes" to those kinds of questions if you have a disability that will completely prevent you from doing the job duties. I don't know what the situation is where you live, but here in the U.S. employees can ask for reasonable accommodations that help them to do the work, and there's no law that says they have to ask before they are hired.

If you know that you can do the job with or without reasonable accommodation, then your condition isn't going to interfere with the work. Just wait until you get hired, then ask for any accommodation you need. I know that probably seems sneaky to some people, but people have to do what they have to do to survive, and helping employers discriminate against them isn't good for survival.

Of course, you can also avoid jobs that involve anything you have trouble with.

You don't have to tell your employers your diagnosis. Just say that you don't have a disability. That's all.

Don't disclose, you'll probably get screened out right away if you say that you have disability that may interfere with work.

My dad said this is basically done for legal reasons, in case someone tries to sue them for discrimination of a disability if their disability gets them fired for poor job performance. He says a lot of stuff in job applications and policies are because of lawsuits that have happened.

Your dad is right.

Companies feel they have to cover their butts.

My advice is you should not mention that you have a disability because you will be labeled and if hired they will put you in in a lower rank job title immediately, it's a shot in the foot. You've already prevented yourself from ever getting a promotion and unless you break the law, they will not fire you for fear of discrimination. They are going to expect you to quit before anything... Also, don't just take my word for it, please take it from experience. I was a Sales associate and demoted to merchandiser/clerk almost overnight when I mentioned my condition...I am not sure why I did it, I actually thought it would give me a better opportunity to move up but it did the exact opposite. I was miserable, wanted to get fired like "George Costanza" tried for a year until I eventually just decided to quit and start over.

It might be wise to get expert advice from CAB or an employment lawyer, or maybe even the Job Centre might be helpful. I just Googled it and there's conflicting info out there for the UK:
http://libweb.surrey.ac.uk/library/skil ... age_21.htm
http://workplace.stackexchange.com/ques ... -in-the-uk
The first link says "Failure to accurately complete a health section on an application form may give the employer grounds to subsequently dismiss you. If your disability has any health and safety implications for you or other employees, you are legally obliged to tell your employer." But that may be out of date - the second link says "an employer isn't allowed to ask about health or disabilities at all before they offer you a job" - if that's true, you seem to be home and dry. I'd check out the Equality Act (2010) very carefully to be quite sure of your rights in that respect.

Those what said ''don't tell them'' seem to be missing the point. I explained the dilemma of it in my OP. This thread is about why I feel anxious about not telling them.

I feel they need to know something. I hate telling people I have Asperger's, but as I've gotten older I've learnt that it's no good pretending I'm completely NT, so I feel much more comfortable if the employer is aware that I have an anxiety disorder at least.

At my first job I didn't put anything down in the disability box, and I got offered the job (it was only a few hours a week but was OK for a first job). For the first year or two I got on OK, but in the third year people there started to pick on me. The boss didn't understand how some things made me anxious and didn't listen to me when I told her how I felt, and some of the others thought I was stupid, hyper and nosy, and one of them pointed it out to me unexpectedly one day, which humiliated me. So then I left, feeling like they robbed me of my dignity.

Also (I know this was when I was at still at school) I had an art teacher who kept on showing me up in front of everybody because I didn't understand some of the work. I was rather shy in my art group, and so it's more embarrassing when you get yelled out when you're shy. He used to have mood swings (looking back, I think he may of had Bipolar), and when he was in one of his angry, shouty moods, I got so nervous about going wrong on my work that I actually DID go wrong, and he'd see and shout at me. I got upset and told my form teacher, who had a word with him. He admitted he thought I was lazy and uninterested in the work, until my form teacher told him that it's because I had some learning difficulties, he was more supportive to me and didn't shout any more, even when having his bad moods. And I felt more comfortable in his art lessons and so did my work better.

So I feel that when people understand my awkwardness and kind of expect it from me, I feel like I can perform much better. I've learnt that when people DON'T know or understand my needs, they kind of bully me.

Well, if other people's ignorance is going to cause you so much anxiety that you won't be able to concentrate on doing a good job, I suppose that you are better off telling them, but if you tell them before you get hired, you will be opening yourself up to hiring discrimination. Tell them after you get hired, or wait and see what the work place is like. Maybe they'll all be nice, understanding people and you won't have to tell them anything. Or you could never tell anyone and instead stand up for yourself if people try to bully you. Some people don't care if you have a documented disability or not and will mistreat you anyways.

I don't think most employers will be understanding of anxiety even if you tell them upfront.
I think they just want someone who does the work with minimum problems.
If you tell them on the application, they will not choose you, as someone else can do the job too, and they don't have anxiety that might interfere with work.

I'm not disagreeing with what's been said here, and I'm not well enough to work anyway, so it's a moot point for me... But I hate the reality that autistics - who typically excel at blunt honesty - are forced to lie in job interviews. It goes against my nature and ethics to misrepresent myself, and then to inevitably be caught in a lie, when it later becomes clear that I can't behave normally on the job, as I had promised them.

Again, this is more of a rant than a helpful solution, but I hear you, and wish you the best with this difficult situation.

That's what I had in mind, but didn't say, as I was focussed on the legality of doing it that way. If the Equality Act is what I think it is, then yes it's legal. After that, it's just like the dilemma of divulging a disability in any other walk of life, there are pros and cons. I was hired undiagnosed, then divulged mine post-DX, and people gave me less s**t after that, though the actual adjustments were disappointingly unimaginative, for the most part.

Depending on the job, it's also possible to get people to be more understanding without explicitly divulging a disability. You can say that you are "sensitive" instead of disclosing anxiety or "bad with words" instead of disclosing ADHD or Asperger's or whatever causes the trouble with verbal directions.

You can even spin it as something positive. You can say that you are "thorough" instead of "slow," and tell them that there will be mistakes if you have to work faster. You can ask for written instructions because they are more precise, and having a written record of the job specification helps to track down errors.