what does it mean when a NT reads in between the lines

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tbh ive heard of this alot.


but idk what that actually means.

It means you've unwittingly given them a golden, socially acceptable chance to put in your mouth whatever is in their best interest for you to say, at your expense and completely disregarding what you actually said or meant, and naturally the least they can do is honor your gift by taking advantage of it, screwing you over royally.

Note as well. When NT's communicate with you, they will assume that you are implying unspoken things too. They will try to "read between" the lines that you say, even though you do not intend any hidden meaning. It's incredibly hard for an NT person to understand that we don't communicate that way.

So if there is a misunderstanding with an NT person, don't assume that it was you that got it wrong - it's just as likely that they misread your intentions.

I can read between the lines quite naturally. I know that people don't always say exactly what they mean. I do the same. Being blunt is the hardest thing I can do, and I have yet to meet another Aspie to feels the same, as nobody here has ever related to me on that one.

And please don't try to nitpick hypocrisy in my post by saying ''you're being blunt right now'' or anything; we can all be blunt or clear sometimes, but I'm just saying generally in everyday social interaction I can read between the lines.

Between the lines, it's all white space to me.

I've got a lot better at it with age - but I have to do a lot of it consciously, and I can only generally do it with people I've got to know a bit. I lack "fluency" I suppose you could say. I much prefer to meet new people if they are first introduced to someone I trust, so that I can just be an observer for a bit - then I can "tune in" to their mannerisms and speech patterns a little bit.

There is a sense in which I find being blunt difficult. If I have to say something to someone, and I cannot judge if it will hurt the other person or not, I'll get lost in thinking about it, trying to find a set of words that can't possibly be misinterpreted. But trying to work that out often kills the conversation anyway - I can't converse and ruminate at the same time, so I just lose track.

@joe90: I have a feeling that's not quite the experience you were talking about though - I think probably not?

Reading between the lines means seeing things that are not there so an example would be

My mom tells my dad to fold the clothes. He folds the clothes but he doesn't put the clothes in the dryer from the washing machine because she didn't add that in her instructions. Reading between the lines would mean the person would put the clothes in the dryer even though he was not instructed to when he was told to fold the clothes.

Another example of reading between the line would be you tell someone to shake the dirt off the rug, so the person takes the rug and takes it outside to shake it even though you didn't tell them to take it outside to do it.

And another example would be someone decides to ask you a curious question but their actual agenda is they are not curious, they just want to be an as*hole and judge you so they disguise their questions as them being curious. Reading between the lines would mean you can see their agenda and know what their intention is, you do not go by what they say.

One last example I have is let's say someone treats you like dirt, they are always judging you, always critical of you, they always seem to have an attitude towards you and then one day they say "Oh I like you." Reading between the lines would be you know they don't like you even though they said they do.

Of course there is danger of reading between the lines because sometimes an NT does mean what they really say but another person reads into it and sees what isn't there and makes that assumption so that is why misunderstandings happen.

When people aren't blunt you have to read between the lines, because sometimes being blunt with someone can upset a person more than the same opinion or fact being non-verbally mentioned.

Like if an overweight person announced they were on a diet, saying, "well yes you are so fat you do need to lose weight!" will sound nasty, but if you say something like give them helpful tips on how to eat healthier and suggest low fat foods, you're still implying that you agree they're fat and it's about time they diet, but it sounds much nicer and less upsetting. But you have to say it in a nice way, not in a critical way. But you can only say it if they tell you openly that they are going on a diet, and if what you're reading between the lines is "I am overweight so I am going to diet."

That's how most social interaction works.

Sadly, I'm still bad at it. For instance the wife-a-rooni asked me yesterday if I wanted to go to the bank way off somewhere. I told her that it was a pain to get to that bank and the weather was bad. For once in my life, I asked the right question: "Why would I want to go to that bank?"

Turns out she had to go that direction and wanted me to ride the bus with her. So, no, not good at picking those things up. If I hadn't have stumbled on the right question, I would have gone to the other bank and she would have been a bit unhappy.

It is impossible for communication to put forth all relevant information at all times, even if the communicator would like to do so. "Reading between the lines" is understanding the information that is not presented well enough to completely understand the information that is presented.

The term can apply both to information the communicator wants you to know, but it can also apply to things they aren't trying to tell you, such as recognizing undisclosed bias in an article.

I don't have too much trouble with this when talking to people, but it's a pain in the butt when reading centuries-old literature. Alas, the two are different skills, so even though you're likely to get (low-quality) lessons in the latter at some point in high school, it won't do you much good socially.

I understand "reading between the lines" to mean the meaning hidden beneath what is said verbally. It is implied content without being expressed out loud. NTs look for this a lot, and I think it leads to a lot of misunderstandings between NTs as well, because they see meaning that is not intended, or misunderstand the meaning.

Here is an example:
I was visiting my brother and sister-in-law. I was searching through their kitchen for a glass for a glass of water. I thought it might be rude to rummage through their things, and called out to my SIL, who was in the living room, "where do you keep your drinking glasses?" She got mad at me and shouted, "Do you really expect us to wait on you because you had a bad childhood?" (we'd been talking about our childhoods recently). I was astounded--I only wanted to know the location of the drinking glasses, because in my kitchen and my Mom's, we can tell you where everything is. Granted, SIL had some paranoia issues going on, but it was one of those weird things where I say "X," and someone hears "X, Y, Z, and f&*k you!"

I've found that "read between the lines" can be about body language too--there had been a bunch of times when I've been somewhere with friends and then later one of them would say something like, "oh, that guy was really flirting with you!!" And I had NO clue.

The terms "read into" or "read [something] into" is often used for situations where someone tries to read between the lines and interprets something that's not there (or, allegedly not there).

Sometimes it's easy for people to make assumptions. A common mistake I know of is for people to interpret "no sugar added" on a product label to mean "there is no sugar in this at all."