Parents think i am incapable of things?

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If anyone here has read some of my earlier posts, my struggle with my parents then was that they didn't think that "i was autistic enough" to "actually have autism".

Recently they seemed to have done a "U-turn" (metaphorically) and think that i can't do things and compliment when i do some basic things and don't think i can be home alone for a few days.


I, a 17 year old was forced to live with my dad when my mom was on a trip. My younger sister, 15, got to stay home alone. (Mom had made food that you could just heat up, as well as asking one of our neighbours to make us dinner one night but a few days we were supposed to make our own food)

Also when i was nice and befriended someone at a birthday party (godfathers 60th) both of them complimented it on it, saying things like "it was very good of you to do it" and "I'm proud of you".

I'm not saying the latter thing is a bad thing, but it seems to be the opposite of "you can do everything everyone else can do, and better" and "you don't struggle with x".


My behaviour hasn't changed, so i am struggling to make sense of this change.

I think people believed I could do a lot, just not the regular things needed to be a fully independent person.

Plenty of precious lil "people" have asked me if I could do things that were pretty easy.

When I was 12 and volunteering at school, a teaching assistant asked me if I knew the letters A to Z



Plenty of times someone asked if I had a driver's license



Very rarely has anyone ever assumed that I could do something that I could not do.

Someone expressed surprise that I was so bad at computers

Almost computer illiterate

Someone expressed surprise that I did not know how to change a flat tire

In Structural Engineering, instructors assumed that I could do things that I couldn't do



But they are not telepathic

Someone asked if I spoke English

It's like Wtf?

Because what if I didn't speak English, then what?

Could they then interact with me in Norwegian? Urdu? Swahili?



Quite frankly it appeared to me that they only one English

But whatever

Because I am not telepathic

And maybe someone taught them that "do you speak English" is the social polite way to approach someone that is not white. As in Caucasian

Oh, I struggle with my parents too. They don't want to know anything about AS and have wrong ideas about AS. They felt I was different, well odd, but when I actually got diagnosed, they were surprised.

I don't mind if they say they are proud of me, but I don't like expressions like "Wow, you did x. That's great. I can't believe you are autistic." or "You are autistic and you can do y. Amazing."

I started cooking and doing things for myself in my mid-teens. Routine and structured schedule I created helped me a lot. I craved solitude and had to learn to be independent real fast to ensure that I can survive else where.

Because I sometimes went non verbal people asked if I spoke English too. Once in a hospital, the staff turned to my "caregiver", who, in fact, barely spoke English. I use AAC app to communicate when I cannot speak.

The things a lot of people experience as "easy," have hidden social traps for me. I am always anxious about doing simple things in front of people, because I look like an idiot if I mess them up.