Does anyone else hate asking for help...?

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Joined: 26 Jan 2013
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15 Feb 2016, 1:21 am

As a kid i used to ask for help for everything, but my dad told me to suck it up or do it myself and made me feel guilty about asking for help. Now that im an adult i have a hard time asking for help when i need it.

Like today... i was -21 degrees celsius outside and instead of asking for a drive i said i was going to walk from one side of the city to the other at 8pm because i was too guilty to ask for a drive... they gave me a drive anyways.

And i also dont like asking for help in school and at home... I forgot to feed myself today and i was too embarrassed to ask for my dad to make me something to eat.. and i never asked for help in school until i got so stressed i would meltdown...

It only occured to me now that i need help with these things but im still too guilty and embarrassed to ask for help...

anyone else feel this way?

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JimSpark
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15 Feb 2016, 1:43 am

I have always hated to ask for help, and I probably always will. I don't like the idea of taking extra time to ask questions, I don't like how my voice sounds in general, and if I don't think the answer they give me is a good one, I will worry that my facial expression and body language will often show it. This attitude probably causes me more problems than it solves.

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EzraS
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15 Feb 2016, 1:48 am

I resist it. Prefer to use it as a last alternative.

Yigeren
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15 Feb 2016, 1:50 am

Nope. If I need help, I need it. I always try not to inconvenience others, though. But if I'm not inconveniencing them, I will ask. I also like to help others, so I think it goes both ways.

There are certain people I will never ask for help from, though. Because I know they don't care.

Edna3362
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15 Feb 2016, 1:55 am

Most at the time.

Partially because everyone else tells me to suck it up. And I seriously want to learn things myself.

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germanium
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15 Feb 2016, 1:59 am

EzraS wrote:

I resist it. Prefer to use it as a last alternative.

This was true for me when younger & still is somewhat true for me but as I have gotten older I'm not quite as physically able to do things as when I was younger so I do occasionally ask now though very seldom. I still offer to help others though in the hopes that someday when I really need it that they would help me though I'm not really counting on that.

babybird
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15 Feb 2016, 2:41 am

I wish I could ask for help but the fact is I get so anxious that I lose the ability to ask for help.

its something i'm working on.

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kraftiekortie
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15 Feb 2016, 3:04 am

It was pretty cold in NYC, too. Down to Minus 18 Celsius.

I'm glad you got a drive, instead of you having to walk across town under those temperatures. Seems like people do care sometimes.

obsessingoverobsessions
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15 Feb 2016, 5:05 am

I hate asking for help in school, mainly because it involves a conversation between me and the teacher, and I get very panicked in conversations with someone I don't know very well.

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DestinedToBeAPotato
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15 Feb 2016, 6:00 am

Yes. I absolutely despise having to ask for help, it's uncomfortable for some reason. I stutter and stumble over my words.

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Gaara
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15 Feb 2016, 12:08 pm

Yeaa, but that just might be because I learnt as a kid not to expect any help.

Ashariel
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15 Feb 2016, 12:34 pm

I hate asking for help, because I already feel like I'm enough of a burden on my family. But I'm starting to accept that I need help with things like making phone calls, and getting to doctor appointments (otherwise it just feels too hard, and I won't do it, even though I technically know how to take the bus.)

League_Girl
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15 Feb 2016, 12:42 pm

I still have a hard time asking for help.

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15 Feb 2016, 12:43 pm

ZombieBrideXD wrote:

I DO THIS ALL OF THE TIME!! !! !! !! !! !

I don't think it is very helpful to myself though. I did this all throughout college and at work too- however I find people don't like it when you don't communicate and don't talk to them... or ask for help at least sometimes..... I find this extremely difficult to do.
I hate asking for help hate it hate it hate it!! ! I feel like they other person is just going to use it against me.
I like to rely on people as little as possible for anything ever. No such thing as a free lunch.
However, when you are not doing well sometimes you unfortunately need someone to lean on- I'm terrible at this.

I've done what you said, but then a nice lady stopped me and told me about a bus I could take across town...
but I just struggle so much with this asking thing.
I have a memory from college that I stood outside a professors door for literally four hours one time trying to get up the courage to ask for help on a problem with the homework, and then finally did and found out I copied something down wrong and he changed literally one line and then my problem was correct..... :oops:

I was mortified because it took me four hours to ask something so simple. ..........

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15 Feb 2016, 12:51 pm

I have a personal philosophy that if I can't do it on my own, it's not worth doing. That includes life.

Tawaki
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15 Feb 2016, 12:54 pm

Gaara wrote:

Yeaa, but that just might be because I learnt as a kid not to expect any help.

This is how I was brought up. The world owes you nothing, and figure it out the best way you know how.

I hate asking for help, because I was brought up that way.

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