Is it rude to PM members without prior permission

Post Reply New Topic

Is it rude to PM members without prior permission

Sometimes someone may ask you a question during a main thread, that the rest of the group may not be interested in.

Is it rude them to PM the person asking the question >

I like getting PM's and being asked questions.

I think it's fine just to send a PM. If you are unsure you can just say in the thread: "hey userx I am going to PM you about this" and they will know to expect a message.

I think if you write something like: "I hope you don't mind if I PM you" within the PM, I believe the vast majority of decent people wouldn't mind it at all if they received a PM from you.

I'mvhappy to receive a PM. I almost always respond and miss getting them.

I don't think it's rude but they are not obligated to answer.

If the content of the PM is polite and sensitive, then it's not rude.

If it's threatening or manipulative, then yes, it is rude.

When in doubt, I'd assume it is rude.

In general I like getting PMs, I don't really send too many ever but I get some cold ones sometimes from random people. It's sort of weird tho, maybe it's just me that is off putting but it always seems like they send these PMs and then never respond back.

I rarely get PMs and I used to get some strange ones sometimes and I couldn't understand what they were about and they would never respond back when I would try and ask them about it. I even got a strange one from a moderator once and she also didn't respond when I asked. I thought it was unprofessional for a moderator and if they can't take the time to answer your PM, they shouldn't be a mod at all.

I would say it's fine as long as it's polite and you aren't pming someone that has said they don't want pms in their signature.

WHere is their signature ?

under their post. I have one, you don't.

You can set one up in My Account. You can attach one to a post or a PM by clicking a little square at the lower left.

Sending a PM without permission is completely OK.
Of course, the message content might be not ok, but that is a different question, sending the message itself is fine, and common practice in the situation you brought up in the opening post

No, it's not rude.

I think most people would be okay with this.

In my experience of using web forums over the past 15 years or so I've only ever had two people take offense at getting a random PM from me.

One of them was upset because I hadn't interacted with her on the open board yet and to her it was like a random stranger in a crowded public place just coming up and starting a personal conversation with her without even a formal introduction. The other--well, what I said to her was pretty tactless and I can see why she found it offensive.

Incidentally, both of them were British. I think possibly U.K. people put more stock in personal formal introductions than much of the rest of the world.

So unless it's someone with a rather extreme sense of manners and propriety and privacy (as ridiculous as it is to expect privacy on the world wide web, sheesh anyone can access the Internet you know) it is generally not considered rude to PM WP members without permission. Personally, I think it would look awkward to ask permission out here on the board. What would that look like? "Hi, KraftieKortie, I like your posts, would it be okay if I PM you?" erk.

Disclaimer: I am not nor do I claim to be an expert on nettiquette or any other form of communication etiquette. I am as much a socially awkward Aspie as anyone else on the Autism Spectrum.