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babybird
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12 Nov 2011, 1:02 pm

Hi everyone, I'm in a bit of a pickle. I have diagnosed Asperger's with ADHD but have never come into contact with anyone else who has it up until yesterday. the trouble is that I am so used to getting by with so called 'normal' people that I found it really weird fitting in with fellow Aspies. I'm just wondering if anyone else has come up against this problem.



Sweetleaf
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12 Nov 2011, 1:13 pm

Well I would not worry too much about it, I mean if you know someone AS you know one person with AS, same with any other disorder people are still individuals. I personally do not feel like I nessisarly fit into any specific groups.....I get along with individuals that I can talk to or feel comfortable around who aren't judgemental about how I am and it just so happens the people I tend to get along with are quite unusual themselves.



MagicMeerkat
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12 Nov 2011, 1:40 pm

I never really wanted to "fit in". I just wanted to lecture to people about my obsessions and special intrests. I really had no desire for friends. I just wanted to do my own thing and being part of a group didn't let me do that. I learned quite young that "fitting in" was just another word for being part of a group.


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babybird
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12 Nov 2011, 2:05 pm

I'm not sure that it is that I've ever wanted to fit in either but it does matter to me that I am accepted by others (no matter who they are), as you will understand it is not easy living with Aspergers or any other disability but if you are accepted for being who you are (no matter whether people like you or not) then it does make life a bit more bearable.



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19 Feb 2016, 3:14 pm

I've always wanted somewhere I could feel that I belong. I don't believe that we can blend in with NT's though, our true selves come shining through and really, why shouldn't they? We have just as much right to be here. I think mostly the desire to fit in comes from long years of exclusion, I think everyone, including NT's, wants what they cannot have. Same with me. As I've aged I've found that I'm less bothered, though the desire still lingers, it hasn't gone entirely. Now I look at a group of people and have to admit to myself that I don't honestly want to be like them. They are mostly just as odd to me as I seem to be to them. If I was just like them I wouldn't know myself and my self-knowledge has been very hard won, so I'm not going to throw it away chasing an illusion. I just wish it was easier, less lonely and that suicidal thoughts were not common for me. Not that I'm suicidal you understand, it's just the the sheer frustration of trying to live in this strange world.