I've always wanted somewhere I could feel that I belong. I don't believe that we can blend in with NT's though, our true selves come shining through and really, why shouldn't they? We have just as much right to be here. I think mostly the desire to fit in comes from long years of exclusion, I think everyone, including NT's, wants what they cannot have. Same with me. As I've aged I've found that I'm less bothered, though the desire still lingers, it hasn't gone entirely. Now I look at a group of people and have to admit to myself that I don't honestly want to be like them. They are mostly just as odd to me as I seem to be to them. If I was just like them I wouldn't know myself and my self-knowledge has been very hard won, so I'm not going to throw it away chasing an illusion. I just wish it was easier, less lonely and that suicidal thoughts were not common for me. Not that I'm suicidal you understand, it's just the the sheer frustration of trying to live in this strange world.