Can AS people find help in NT support groups?

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Has anyone ever attended a recovery group type thing with NTs? Did it help and were you able to blend and did you tell them you were on the spectrum?

I was pushed to attend a Celebrate Recovery group meeting. I'm a year and a half out of a long, bad marriage (32 years) with a narcissistic sociopath. My own research has helped me to learn what he was and is, how he controlled and manipulated me. I've read on brainwashing and cults and those fit so that's where my primary recovery has been. On my own.

The group is bible centered and says they help with recovery through scripture. My Ex believed himself to be a prophet and the bible and religion were used against me to control me so my natural inclination is to have nothing to do with religion or bible study or any of that. I don't believe in them and rejecting them helps me to not fall back into the cult like mindset - the brainwashing type stuff.

My main question here is - these recovery groups have to label you in order to get you to come back and participate. They label me as co-dependent because I stayed in the abusive situation. I know that I am an Asperger person (diagnosed) and that I was brainwashed (I can now point out the steps exactly that he used and they are pretty textbook) - but does that make me co-dependent? It seems to blame the victim.

Aren't most Aspies naive and in danger of following the wrong person or people?

It's very confusing because they all say it's so good for you - just church and Christ and the Bible and nothing could be wrong with that, but I'm ready to run far away from all of it and I feel like that makes me a bad person

Any Aspies who have successfully found help through a NON-AS type support group?

I'm sorry that happened to you. My feeling is that maybe you technically were co-dependent while you allowed the abuse to happen, but since you're no longer with him, you're no longer in the co-dependent mindset.

Just wanted to offer my support... I was in a bad situation in my teens, sexually abused by a man 3 times my age, and his family was trying to convert me to their cult religion, and... Yeah, it really sucked. Being autistic makes us vulnerable, and in my case I felt like somehow I deserved it, and I was a bad person for feeling hatred toward him in my heart.

Religion can be used in abusive, manipulative ways - but other denominations focus on positive aspects, like hope, and faith, and healing. I hope your support group is the latter. My own experience was that the 'nicer, saner' religious folks were unprepared to deal with the reality of what I'd been through, and preferred to ignore my issues.

I hope you have better luck though. If the group thing isn't helpful, one-on-one counseling might be more effective, in dealing with your issues and experiences, rather than other people's.

Thanks - I'm VERY sorry that happened to you.

I can't do counseling - no money for it and no insurance. Counseling is a luxury item.

I just wonder if any of the 'regular' support groups can work with AS people? They seem to be set on making me change my behavior, that I need to recover from being this way when they don't 'get' that 'this way' is Autistic. I'm not going to recover from AS. It's the hard wiring. So to go to a meeting every week where you're told to change your behavior, change your mindset, just trust Jesus and you'll be 'normal' - that's the part I'm really stuck on.

That plus the way the religion is used to manipulate people. The 'good' group of 'good Christians' felt so much like the brainwashing I got in the cult experience. I think this cult it just more socially acceptable.

Ah, I'm sorry counseling isn't feasible for you. And I hear you - in the end, I became disenchanted with religious groups as well, in general. Once you've seen the ugly side of religion it's hard to relate to the 'innocent, happy' side of it.

I think it's theoretically possible for an NT support group to be helpful to autistics, but my feeling is this particular group might not be the best one for you. (That's why I'm grateful for WP - there are no groups in my area that I feel would be helpful to me either!)

It's good to know that when you are a little lamb from the bible, the wolves are running after you.
Aspergers attract manipulators (sociopaths and others) because of their innocence, you are not the first, not the last, you are not "a bad person" if you run away from them, you are protecting yourself.

You will probably now better recognize manipulators because you learned. But, there is a high risk that you meet a "better" manipulator (i mean hiding better the ugly game)... A tip: When with someone, you feel bad, guilty, or feel obliged to with no reason, often destabilized... but you can't really say something against this person, that must always ring a bell.

And, very important, if you expect NTs to form a group to help you, i think you are dreaming, sorry, they just want your money.
However, if you are looking for help, manipulators (10% population) will quickly feel it and will be too happy to let you believe that they are what you are waiting for... and here we go again!

You escaped a sociopath alone by getting informed,
then you are able, with time to find nice people if you want, but keep in mind the 10%...
and better off alone than in bad company (you would probably confirm)

If i were you, before throwing myself in new relationships, I would first boost my self-esteem (probably destroyed by your sociopath) by achieving little things by yourself, things you will be proud of.

Congratulations for getting rid of the stupid and good luck for a happy future