Refrigerator Mom Theory

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What do people in this forum think of the "refrigerator Mom" theory, that autism is caused by mothers who are cold to their children and that autism is a condition caused by a failure to bond properly with the mother? In Peter Breggin's book, "Toxic Psychiatry", he has a slightly different version, that autism is caused by parents who treat their children like objects. The "refrigerator mom" theory has pretty much been replaced with genetic theories of autism, but as Breggin points out, the genetic theories have very little evidence to support them. Both of my parents treated me like an object, and I definitely have some problems bonding with my mother. I tend to believe the "refrigerator mom" theory. What do people in this forum think?

It's been thoroughly debunked.

Proven BS.
Many kids of "refrigerator moms" come out just fine (Well, often as as*holes, but not autistic) while a lot of autistic kids have/had the sweetest and warmest parents imaginable.

The real cause of autism is still unknown, but it is pretty clear that genetics play a role.

Children get autism no matter what. Yes it's true that in some cases that severe neglect can cause symptoms but I don't know if it would mean they are truly autistic. It would just mean they suffer from severe neglect or abuse. PTSD might be the right label for them or RAD. And sometimes a kid that was abused or neglected does get diagnosed with autism because of the help they need and how they are affected by their symptoms so in some cases, it's just a label. But then again not all abused kids get an autism diagnoses and their symptoms are just a result from the abuse.

I think it has validity. Actually, I know that it has validity, but existence is more complex than meets the eye.

If your parents treated you like an object, I believe that you can certainly have issues that will resemble someone who is Autistic just like there are environmental factors that will cause symptoms that resemble Autism. And being treated like an object can certainly affect brain development. But Autism is a specific condition and people who are born with Autism are born with it. It develops in the second trimester of the pregnancy so Autism actually happens while you are still in the womb. This has been proven and it has also been proven that there are genetic factors involved. So it is true that refrigerator moms can produce children with developmental issues and those issues can have traits that we find on the the Autism Spectrum, but refrigerator moms do not cause Autism. You can have a refrigerator mom and dad and be Autistic but they did not cause the Autism.

I think it might if the Mom was autistic herself. But not that she caused it by her actions, more like she passed the genes on to the child. Women often go undiagnosed so it would make sense in that way.

The Refrigerator Mother theory needs a Maytag Repairman. It doesn't work

I don't think there's any validity to it, although as other have said, severe parental abuse/neglect could cause some autism-like problems. My mom was anything but a refrigerator! She has always been warm and loving to me, and my number one supporter in life. Neither of my parents treated me like an object. On the other hand, the genetic link is obvious in my case because many people on my dad's side of the family (him included) have strong autistic traits, and there are even a few other diagnosed people.

Refrigerator parents or over strict disciplinarians do not cause autism. Some autistic children have hd abusive fathers but those without are still autistic it is the ones from a refrigerator mother who didn't show them affection would have dual diagnosis of an autistic spectrum condition and an anxiety disorder in this case especially post traumatic stress disorder or another anxiety disorder.

People in South Korea think that going to sleep with the fan on can kill you, which would have killed me a long time ago if it were true, so I'm not all that surprised they'd believe in a ridiculous outdated theory like the refrigerator mother.

It's a pile of s**t with a grain of truth.

The grain of truth: autism is inherited, and a lot of the mutations are X-linked recessive traits. An autistic parent is more likely to be distant, withdrawn, and hands-off, especially if they're struggling with depression and anxiety and sensory overload and piss-poor self-esteem. Which, if you're undiagnosed, you likely are.

Also, kids-- any kids-- will do better with a parent who's teaching them and working with them and actively involved in the process. Usually, mom is that parent. Not always, but usually. If mom's checked out, for whatever reason, the kid is going to suffer.

Also, until you learn how to parent them, autistic kinds kinda tend to push everyone away. Especially doting mothers. I pushed my doting grandmother away, and she'd already had an autistic hubby and stepdaughter to learn from and thus pretty much knew what she was doing. So sometimes non-autistic parents learn to be a little chilly with autistic kids-- and a little chill might actually be a GOOD thing.

But that's it. If being emotionally distant and kinda hands-off caused autism, every one of my kids and most of my cousins would be autistic (and I sure as hell wouldn't be). So basically it's BS, with just enough truth in it to make it pernicious.

For those of us with horrible parents, it's easy to believe. But really, we need to get away from simplistic models with single causes and clear repeatable outcomes. There's a lot more at play - genetic factors and brain structure interact with your life experience. Harsh and abusive childhoods can trigger or lead to autistic features that may or may not have been genetically ready to be triggered. And, kids with autism can frustrate parents who are borderline - though the parents are ultimately responsible for being caring adults.

It's just not as straightforward as touching poison ivy then seeing a rash on your arm.