Thoughts on AS, teen girls, and pregnancy...

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I was just wondering after thinking about an article about women (and men) and anorexia. How they think that the "worst anorexics" may actually have an ASD. They don't improve, because they don't relate to most treatment methods, having their family surround them and "yak" about their love and need for them, and what society thinks of their thinness and blah blah blah.

It reminded me a lot in some ways, of some young girls I have known who have babies in their teens, (including myself). We become "obsessed" with the idea of having a child, like it is going to "cure" our problems, or provide so much joy, that our problems will seem insignificant, the child marks us being flung out of the transitional teen years that so commonly suck for aspies, and into an "adult" life that we crave, and we just don't relate to others "warnings" or "stories" about what life at 16 without a partner, and a child in tow is really going to be like! Of course, WE will handle it differently, and OUR babies won't be like that!

Now, most 16/17 year old Aspie girls, flip flop between going on 36, and mentally acting like 6 year olds, but we only see the mature side of ourselves when we "reflect on our charator". Most girls, are most sorely shocked and disapointed, when all these careful plans cometogether, and everything ends about as badly as we where warned. Indeed, we are not flung into adulthood with our children, we are kids raising kids with adult responsibilities. Never a good mix!

But, I am not here to disect the young aspie parent, I am more or less, just wondering if you think that it is possible, that many girls who end up with children really young, are infact, un dx'ed aspies? Perhaps they want a child, in there minds the child *shudders* has a purpose or job to fulfill, it will bond them to their boyfriends, it will elevate the mom to "grown up" emancipating them from their childhood they find so painful. It will comfort their sorrow, it will distract them from their pain. Maybe it is as simple as the aspie girl is more likely to get caught off gaurd pregnant, due to low self esteem issues and being corerced into a relationship they are not ready for or prepared for. And of course, with poor TOM, they just "don't understand" what they are getting into!

Anyway, just a thought...

i've always thought one of the differences between people and cats is that curiosity always seems to just knock them up instead of killing them...

I think I've read somewhere that there is a higher rate of autism/AS in adoptees than in the general population. This always made me wonder if a significant percentage of adoptive mothers (many but not all of whom are young) are HFA/AS. For all the reasons you list. I can't remember where I read this, so it might not be true...

I do think HFA females are more likely to be sexually exploited than NT females because they lack the natural instincts that might lead to self preservation. Just a theory...

You don't have to be autistic to get pregnant.

I'm 15 and I don't want children.

Granted, I don't know too many Aspie girls/women in RL but I took all the moral/ethical lessons to heart and didn't have sex until I was 18. I understood all the warnings literally and didn't want kids anyways. The only other autistic woman I can remember waited too. Honestly, I thought 30 was young enough to have a child.
I have long thought that women's obsession with motherhood had more to do with low self-esteem and lack of purpose, due to generations of social conditioning. It's the really dependent NTs that have children early, they crave attention, affection and social acceptance. They eschew logic and rely on googly eyes and flattering suitors when thinking of the future.

When I was in the middle of my rotten teenage years, I kept telling myself that once I was in my 20's, I would be "free". Free doesn't mean saddled with a kid. Free means doing things on your own schedule for your own reasons and in your own particular way.

I am an eighteen year old Aspie female, and I am scared to death do even think about having sex (trust me, I've never even kissed a boy!). I've always wanted a baby around the house, but our neighbors have a baby girl, whom I see all the time. I want to adopt kids later on in life, like when I'm about thirty.

Probably not, because there are a lot of NT girls with self-esteem and other issues in their teens. NT girls can get really obsessed about a particular boy and having his kid. NT girls have widely varying maturity in their teens too. NT kids often think they're grown up and can handle anything at 16.

I don't have any statistics on it but would be willing to bet it's either the same percentage or a lower percentage than NT's.

I don't know, but just wanted to note that according to a brain scan survey (don't recall if it was CAT or MRI) no teenagers are 'normal' brainwise. There's a period of years where one part of the brain dominates and it's now thought to be responsible for the fact that there's so much high-risk (whether sexual, driving like an idiot, or other) behavior between about 15 and 22.

I was the opposite. I was obsessed with not getting pregnant, being tied to some man I didn't respect intellectually and to some child. I knew everything about sex long before I ever tried it because I studied it like anything else. I knew everything about birth control for the same reason. I did both years before I went down that road. To me, the girls who got pregnant were not intellectuals or they wouldn't be surprised (which had nothing to do with the ones who made a concious decision to do that). I didn't have emotions tied up with sex either and I'm sure that helped. I certainly wasn't doing anything to derail my life over a guy. I had definite ideas about where I wanted my life and I methodically pursued those, studying and controlling everything I could, including that.

So I guess it was that control thing but in the opposite direction.

Interesting theory, but not entirely sure.

If one was to adopt that theory, then it would open up questions as to the dispersion of people with AS. For example in Cambridge there is a very low teenage pregnancy rate, yet go to a town like Corby, and there is a very high rate. Theres only about sixty miles between the two places, but such a difference.

Makes you think, if nothing else.

It's an interesting theory, and I understand where you're coming from. I do not agree though, I have very strong morals, and I'm terrified of having a child. I live in an area with a very large teenage pregnancy rate. As examples down my street we have a new 14 year old mother, a 16 year old who has had multiple abortions and is proud of it, a 21 one year old with 3 children and a pregnant 17 year old. All of them are very nerotypical, and extroverted. From what I've experienced its the more outgoing girls, who believe life is all fun and games and theres few or no consequences to their actions.

Just to clarify, I don't think ALL or even the majority of teen moms are autistic! I just wonder if it pust AS / HFA girls in some ways of higher risk, and perhaps girls that seem unable to relate to other teen moms experiances and are dead set on getting pregnant, may be on the ASD spectrum. I suppose the fact is, ASD girls and boys are probably at higher risk for a lot of risky behavior. No, you don't NEED to be ASD to do things that are high risk, but most ASD individuals have compromised judgement beyond the stupidity of being a teenager, and are often so desperate to fit in, they can be coerced a little more perhaps?

I was not some big whore as a teen, infact I probably would not have had any sexual relationships if it where not for the fact that I was pretty much date raped at 15 and after that, the pyschological trauma was rather extensive. One of the things was, I thought for a period of time I may be pregnant, only it turned out I was not, and that seemed to turn "on" this obsession in me to have a child when I was 16.

Of course, not ALL ASD girls would want a child, and many would be TERRIFIED of it, as it would interfere with their other interests and they know that is not what they want to do with their life!

I remember this one girl I went to school with. Her name was Heather, and she was in someways, a lot like me. Just always on the outside, never really socially accepted, but having learned "enough" that she was not totally austrocized. I remember when I first started going to her school, the rummor was she was a psychopath because she stuck a pencil in some poor guys arm in art class because he was teasing her!

Anyway, she hooked up with this creepy boy 4 years younger then her, who was one of the nastiest kids in school. (she was in gr. 12, he was in gr 9). She flaunted the relationship and "loved him" and would defend him with her life. One day she told me "I want a baby". I was like, "you really don't want to do that"! I tried and tried to explain all the things I learned, I might have been talking to a wall. She used every line and exuse I used when I wanted a child to defend my position. So, she got pregnant, and even the principle tried to talk her out of keeping the child. He had her look at key areas of her life, like school, where she would live, how she would pay for things, had her fill out a budget. Doing much like I did, counting on "birthday money" and other nonesense, she proved she could "get by".

I left the school shortly after, but 2 years later found her depressed and a mess, her childs father apparently "broke her childs arm" at one point, and was no longer in contact under a restraining order, it was very sad.

I also watched a similar situation where a girl self distructed in my sisters grade. Eventually her sons father got custody and she had hers completely stripped, with a restraining order. (that almost NEVER happens in Canada, a mom has to really SCREW UP before that happens!)

Of course, I have known lots and lots of teen moms who don't have AS, stupid nieve NT girls who do this to themselves for all the "known" reasons.

So, maybe there is no real point to this whole thread! I was just wondering if perhaps, a really stubborn girl who has a child young, and just seems on the path to self distruction, completely unable to relate to what others say or warn, should not be at least "evaluated" for an ASD, if not officially, if her medical doctors should be unofficially looking for the warning signs... I really believe it is underdiagnosed in the female population...

i think i have such a good visual grasp on the whole birthing process that i am sufficiantly scared outta my gourd to ever want any kids... though if someone i'm in a relationship with brings up the subject, i always tell them the same thing, "well, get as many as you want on the first shot cause that's the only shot you're gonna get!"