Knowing what is rude

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I found out a friend that lives a couple hours out of town liked a Facebook page for a festival I would like to go to, and I don't have my own car. We've gone on trips before, once to the same exact place when there was no festival, and once to a farther place where we were going to a different festival but we missed it. We probably average either a trip to watch birds 1-2 times a year, or she visits me and we bird locally.

Anyway I keep thinking it would be rude to ask for a ride... because i think shes already got plans, but my husband says it is not rude to ask... I do have problems in this area, rude or not rude?

I'd say it's perfectly fine to ask, but respect her if she already has plans and can't accommodate you in with the plan she's made.

As long as you approach her politely, and accept it graciously if she says "no", I see no problem with asking. A good approach might be to ask her if she wants to split the cost of fuel, or food and drink - that way, you're offering her something too, and she will be less embarrassed if she has to refuse.

Rudeness is subjective.

My personal rule about measuring what is and isn't rude, is to try and calculate the perfect medium between those that find most things irritable, and those that find nothing irritable, and then just go with that.

As an individual, I'm firmly rooted within the "finds nothing irritable" camp, but this is because experience has matured me, and forced my perspective to concentrate towards the truly important things in life.