"Your health problems trigger my meltdowns"

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I had SEVERE meltdowns as a child that diminished to only an occasional thing as an adult, also with bipolar.

I got married to a man with a few health problems I could handle... but then it's as if the poor man fell apart... I don't even want to start a list... I ended up in the psych unit 6 times in 4 years because I can't handle him being sick. After over 20 med changes they are now starting to realize I have meltdowns (but no autism dx).

I told him today I don't know if the relationship was worth it. DBT is not helping. But I love the man literally to death... and he's never been abusive to me, even if I'm acting really bad during a meltdown... most men would have left a long time ago.

If I got diagnosed with AS, is there any new therapies available? Not even bird books are helping (how I coped in the past)

Meltdowns are hard to manage even for professionals.

It takes a lot of structure, self discipline and Support of others to make a meltdown safe and manageable.


Most of my meltdowns are violent but i know how to manage them now. When i was a kid i used to bang my head on walls, pull my hair, hit myself, hit and kick others, throw myself on the floor and of course scream and cry.

but today i learned how to remain in control.

Just recently, one of my meltdowns started because i was EXHAUSTED (didn't sleep that night) and i had no way of getting home from my friends, my friend then asks his parents for a drive and they get angry and start spouting off about how my family doesn't care, it made me feel bad and i felt a meltdown coming on, so i left but my friend followed me (my friend is autistic but has a lot of structure and support by his parents and has very little meltdowns) he was very concerned and spoke softly, he took me back to his parents, but his mother was yelling and grabbing me; i can NOT be touched at all during a meltdown so i told her not to touch me, when i told her this she started getting closer to me, i KNEW that i get violent if i get too overwhelmed so i focused on staying away from her, but she kept getting angrier and angrier, i asked to be taken to hospital and she got even more mad and tried to force me into the car, i just ran all the way to the hospital.

Im very proud of myself, i did not hit, swear or disrespect anyone (at least from what i can remember) i still cried, screamed and hyperventilated but my friend walked with me and i calmed down.

My meltdowns used to be so bad that i got ARRESTED once! the police were still called last time but it was for MY safety, and not for the safety of others.

I suggest researching and finding what works for you.

Try starting with deep pressure therapy

When I was a child I had to stand in corners a lot and even detention. I had a personal aide to try to stop meltdowns, put in special ed despite how well I did academically, and had to sit apart from the rest of the class. As an adult I have had the police called on me but mostly went to the psych wards when I was bad. I would recover quickly but the still often kept me in there a week. Now thety won't put me there, because they say it's not a med issue, they even started to use the terminology "meltdown"

For other symptoms as a kid was forced to have friends and put in social skills therapy. But they encouraged my obsessiveness when it came to birds and other wildlife.