im starting to want a cure..

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when i was first diagnosed i was very proud to be diagnosed.. but.. now that i've dropped out of school for the 2nd time... lost all my best friends... cant even feed myself anymore... i wish i was normal..i just want to be dead...

why is everyone so against a cure?! how can people LIVE with autism? i cant beleive autistic PARENTS AND SPOUSES are on here! thats amazing! i feel like a piece of s**t, i cant even go to school anymore... im at the end of my rope...


i cant do it anymore...

I am unable to relate to not wanting an autism cure. For me it is a horrible disability which has given me a much lower quality of life. The older I get the more I resent and hate having it. I have no future, I'll always be a significant special needs case.

However, it could be worse. I know a 19 year old who broke his neck in a trampoline accident when he was 17 and is now a C5 quadriplegic. His situation is a lot worse than mine, so I'm thankful I'm not that bad off. The thing he's most thankful for is he can breath without a respirator.

I can understand you wanting a cure.

It's not that people don't want a cure....it's that some people want to "cure" the good aspects of autism as well as the bad aspects.

I'm thinking:

Why doesn't your father let you cook on your own--at first under his supervision?

And help you, under his supervision, become more independent.

You are an intelligent person. I don't like to "see" you in such despair.

I do hope you are able to get back to school soon.

I certainly can not think of any good aspects for me personally.

It's actually rather funny when you think about it. NTs label us as having special needs because they don't know what to think. I mean, do we have special needs? Or do they? What do we need that they don't? Because from what I've seen they need more things than we do. We've grew up tolerating being left out and with few friends. Grown up having to deal with hypersensitivity. But we got through it. On our own. We didn't 'need' anything. Whenever I see an NT my age who's left out they go crying to Facebook about it. I just find it humorous because you're upset that you're always going to be considered as special needs, but who's considering you as that? NTs are. We don't have a say in that. They like to think of us as less than able, 'disabled', but we're just as able to function, if not more so, than they are. So why let their opinion hurt you? I mean, you're just as able to see them as special needs as they are you. Do we really have more flaws than them?

Ezra: For one thing, you're very smart in computers---much smarter than I am. You might be able to make a career out of it. Things like troubleshooting, looking for hackers, stuff like that. There is a market for your skills. Your autism mindset, perhaps, enables you to be this good with computers.

Are you certain its autism alone that is troubling you? and are you sure being normal would rid you of whatever problems you're having? Normal people can suffer from stress, anxiety, depression, getting burnt out, ect. as well. Also I cannot fathom how they could form an actual cure without the risk of turning people into a brain dead vegetables especially with current knowledge/technology. I wouldn't risk that, but maybe there are some who would be willing to take that risk. It is how our neurology is set up, it isn't just some switch that can be disactivated and they have not narrowed it down to anything specific. Experts can't even look at a brain and tell whether it is autistic or normal since there is nothing specific to see...so don't know if its even possible to undo the autistic neurology and rewire it to neurotypical neurology but if so I think the risk of brain dead vegetable is a valid concern.

I certainly did not tolerate being left out and not having any friends too well, nor did the hypersensitivity that no one understood help matters. So for me at least it would be a stretch to say I got through all that entirely on my own...I tried to off myself when I was 15 it it wasn't for that concerning people I might have tried again and succeeded. People in general cry about stuff on facebook, I prefer not to put personal feelings and such up but not sure that is an autism thing since not all neurotypicals like posting that sort of stuff either.

I am certainly not better at functioning than NTs...this Nts are inferior and Autistics are better crap is obnoxious, and if you don't have any struggles how do you have a diagnoses?

There is no cure and even if there ever was one developed, the damage is already done with us. I don't think about it much, I'd be a completely different person so if I'm going to pretend to be someone else I pretend a little bigger than a "cured" version of myself. Of course I'd like to be a normal functioning person with relationships, friends, family, a job, everything everyone else has, most of all I'd just want to be happy and contented. Can I achieve that with this neurology? I don't know, I hope so since it's not changing.

I am sure there are things that you can do to help yourself without removing AS from your life. I am not the best at cooking either, and it took me a while to learn the washing machine, but, the thing is you can learn a little at a time, and start from somewhere. Now, I can cook a little bit more and I dare to do it, even when my NT partner and family isn't at home. So, maybe you can get a friend or relative to help you out at first, until you feel somewhat OK to do it on your own (they can be around somewhere nearby) and then finally on your own? I am sure that you will be OK with a little time and some help

Hope you feel better soon! xx

BTW you should know I am 36 years old, and still living at home with parents and all that (and my partner also). So yeah, I know it is hard! I have a huge difficulty with living independently and have recently learned how to cook more stuff at about age 32! got my first ever real job at age 32, so yeah trust me I know it is not easy! but, things can happen with a little help and patience from all involved! Plus, you have many friends here cheering you on (myself too) xx

This has nothing to do with one being superior. If anyone's suggesting one's superior here it's you thinking that neurotypicals are superior. I do struggle, but I've handled it. Without 'special needs' If you're saying you have 'special needs' because you get upset and need help, then everyone has special needs. My argument is that we don't have special needs and it's not a disability because we have things they don't as well. Being socially not as good does not mean we're disabled and inferior. We're more driven and calculating, so does that make them inferior? No, so it's ridiculous to say that our flaws make us disabled but their flaws make them superior. What needs do we have that they don't? Special needs is really pushing it. It seems that anyone who suggests that we have pros as well as cons is someone who thinks they're superior, yet thinking that we're 'disabled' and aren't capable of things NTs are is fine.

Yes indeed, so true! I lived my whole life with AS without knowing I had it, and also other difference, and now I am aware of my AS difference! I survived so many things in my childhood and youth going through life without awareness of AS even existing in the world and less in me. And now I know. I am so grateful to have found out. Plus, we survived so many things for so many years when there was no insight and no knowledge, paving the way for today's people who get diagnosed early (which is awesome! imagine how much less hardship we would have had if we had known before!).

Thanks for this response, it was like hearing myself in somebody else hehe!

Awesome!

Much to you all!

xx

I'm still not sure if I want a cure or not, because while it would be nice to FINALLY fit in and function in NT society, curing my ASD would change so much about me I may as well be a completely different person. I'm not really sure if I want to be something I'm not, I've kind of built my identity around being different, being an individual.