Aspergers, losing footing

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Where do I begin. I feel like no one. Im empty and tired. Ive spent the last 7-8 years in psychospiritual turmoil losing my mind, especially these last few. My thoughts eat me alive. Ive destroyed my psyche by dwelling so feircely on negativity: the only truth available for me to see. Ive been through the medicine mill and only came out worse, much worse, for the wear on the other side. I don't know what is keeping my mind from oozing out onto the sidewalk.
Tonight/this morning I find myself here. I need help, but don't believe in it. I dont believe help really is help. I only see foolish human beings with exhausted ideas. I see corruption. I see carelessness. I see job security.

What am I going to do with myself?
I am cursed with a disease that divides me. I should not exist.

If you truly feel you should not exist, then you need to see a professional immediately. Check yourself into a hospital or something.

That sounds like depression/suicidal ideation.

Aspergers is not a disease. It's a very treatable disorder.

What are you REALLY interested in?