why do some parents not tell there child they have autism?

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whats the cause for that?


were they afraid it would make them upset?

i mean to tell u the truth u cant keep hiding to them about there autism.

when i found out like i said in my post a few weeks ago i was shocked and surprised then felt upset.

I think that sometimes parents are worried that their child will feel bad about themselves, or that their child will lose hope for the future -- that their child will start to believe that they can't do anything because they have autism, or give up on dreams/goals that might be attainable.

Parents beleive the label 'autistic' would make them beleive they cant do certain things and therfore never try.

My dad tried this with me when i was diagnosed but he realized it doesn't help, it only made things worse because i was trying to do things that everyone else was doing I.E; making friends, reading, writing and cooking and failing horribly and i didn't understand why, it made me very upset so he told me. But he told me that Albert Einstein was autistic, and i can do anything he can do itll just take more time than other people.

He still reminds me to the day when i have a bad day and feel bad about waking up in the afternoon or forget to plan steps out properly.

What child has any idea what autism is?

They think the child doesn't know they're different and would be happier not knowing. Or they hope the child will outgrow it and they won't have to deal with it. They're afraid that labelling the child will cause low self-esteem or make the child think 'I can't do it, I'm autistic, why even try?'

These fears aren't rational, and parents end up hurting more than they help by keeping this information from their kids. But they generally do it with good intentions.

Parents should tell the truth, and also convey success stories to prove that autism isn't a tragic diagnosis,

Because they think they will use it as an excuse or if their kid wants to be normal, why would telling them they have autism make it better? That would be the most devastating news to hear because it would mean they are "broken" and can't be "normal" and never will be. They will mourn.

Mine didn't tell me I had a disability, they didn't tell me Asperger's was a form of autism. To them Asperger's and autism are two different things. If I knew at a young age I had a disability, I would have used it as an excuse and think rules don't apply to me because I was in a environment where special needs kids were allowed to do certain things and not follow the rules so I would have taken it literal and been hard to unteach me and it was when I was in high school.

My parents didn't tell me I had Asperger's right away; I found out by accident. I don't know why.

I didn't understand that I was autistic until I turned 13, which was when I was diagnosed with AS.

Also IMO, some parents may feel ashamed that they are raising an autistic child.

Some of them probably don't disclose to their child because they don't want to risk the child internalising the extreme stigma and prejudice in the media and culture. And children are sponges, they absorb those messages and personalise them, because they are too young to have yet developed the critical faculties to see prejudice for what it really is. Children can't understand the context of prejudice, and are particularly affected from age 3 by concepts of defect aimed at them for something that they cannot change. The parents may be unable to see how to safeguard their children from that vile onslaught and are trying in their own way to protect them from it until the child has more ability to understand it in context.

They have the right to know imo. When to tell them I'm not too sure myself, but better sooner than later. I'd definitely not hide it from them forever. Otherwise they'll end up blaming their mistakes and failures on them not being strong enough. Kids are really hard on themselves nowadays because society forces them to. Autism doesn't make things easier. In fact, our good friend Wikipedia writes this:

I always knew, usually they know they're different from they're peers. They just might not call it 'autism'.

I wish my parents would have told me sooner. If I knew sooner, than I wouldn't have made a bunch of stupid mistakes my first year of Junior High.

This is a difficult issue. I am a sociologist who studies adults on the autism spectrum. I have a couple of friends who have worked with older kids/teenagers on the autism spectrum, so I have gotten some of their insights. Please forgive me for speaking plainly.

My friends who have worked in special education with openly autistic teenagers say that not all, but a good deal of them of them use autism as an excuse to get out of things that are hard or that they simply don't want to do. I have also heard autistic adults with late diagnoses admit that they would have done this if they had known they were autistic. So this is my answer to your question. I think parents don't tell their kid because they are trying to make them a more capable adult.

HOWEVER, it seems cruel not to tell someone something like that about themselves. Like letting a warrior go into battle with no shield.

I don't think that enough educators or non-autistic parents understand the importance of balance for autistic kids. For example, a special interest break for an hour after school is fine, but then ALL homework has to be done, with no getting out of the part that's really hard. The autistic kid should not be forced to eat something they say they can't eat. A somewhat healthy diet can be worked out. Maybe the kid will never eat an onion but if he will eat spinach with ranch on it, call that a win and leave him alone.

If you're an autistic kid and you're parents don't get this kind of thing, it may be up to you to make suggestions. Don't act up and expect your parents to magically understand. A little rational explanation and a few suggestions from you could drastically improve your life.