My opinion on what is a meltdown vs a tantrum

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A tantrum:

is an outburst that happens when a child is trying to get something he wants or needs. Some kids with learning and attention issues are more prone to tantrums. For instance, some can be impulsive and have trouble keeping their emotions in check. They may get angry or frustrated quickly.

A child may have a tantrum if he didn’t get to go first in a game of kickball. Or he might get upset when you pay attention to his sister and he wants your attention. Yelling, crying or lashing out isn’t an appropriate way for him to express his feelings, but he’s doing it for a reason. And he has some control over his behavior.

Your child may even stop in the middle of a tantrum to make sure you’re looking at him. When he sees that you’re watching him, he may pick up where he left off. His tantrum is likely to stop when he gets what he wants—or when he realizes he won’t get what he wants by acting out.


sensory meltdown
A meltdown is a reaction to feeling overwhelmed.

For some kids, it happens when there’s too much sensory information to process. The commotion of an amusement park might set them off, for instance. For other kids, it can be a reaction to having too many things to think about. A back-to-school shopping trip could cause a tantrum that triggers a meltdown.

Here’s one way to think about too much sensory input. Imagine filling a small water pitcher. Most of the time, you can control the flow of water and fill the pitcher a little at a time. But sometimes the water flow is too strong and the pitcher overflows before you can turn the water off.

That’s how a sensory meltdown works. The noise at the amusement park or the stack of clothes to try on in the dressing room at the mall is sensory input that floods your child’s brain. Once that happens, some experts think your child’s “fight or flight” response kicks in. That excess input overflows in the form of yelling, crying, lashing out or running away

That sounds like what I have read online about how to differentiate the two behaviors.

My meltdowns as a child weren't necessarily from my sensory issues. They were usually caused by frustration from a situation or the inability to deal with my feelings. I'd get upset very easily and couldn't handle it. I did throw tantrums at times to get what I wanted, but I don't think it happened often.

Sometimes when I get overwhelmed by sensory issues l get mean because I am anxious, however. Or if it gets bad I may feel ill or start crying. It happens when I feel trapped in an environment in which I'm uncomfortable. Usually it's if I feel confined, or there are too many people, bad smells, loud noises, or too many things going on at once. Or if it's a social event where I am expected to socialize for far too long, and get completely overwhelmed.

My fears come out as anger.

It could also be from a change in routine, or something happening, or just being set off.

I had tantrums as a child.

I remember when I was 4 me and my family were going to a pub for lunch, but we walked because it was a nice day, and I didn't want to walk all that way, so the whole way I was crying. As I was crying I noticed everyone was ignoring me, so that made me cry more. Then my aunt got so fed up with me crying that she spanked me on the leg, which made me stop crying right away because I didn't want to be whacked again. I think I was crying because 30% I didn't want to walk and 70% I wanted some sort of reaction.

My tantrums involved craving for attention, a reaction, wanting something, or emotional manipulatation. I didn't grow out of it til I was about 12.

I think most of the things that people call meltdowns are tantrums instead.
Most of the ones that are really meltdowns are like reactions that go way out of control and the person having them doesn't understand what is going on and can't really talk about it afterwards when their memory of it seems largely erased.
The ones that can be talked about and analyzed are more like tantrums.

I remember my meltdowns cos Im ashamed of them. You're right though that they're out of control.

I'm going to disagree about the memory part. I've had meltdowns. It's not about what I want or need. It's about overloading, losing control, walking out, ready to do anything to get away from the situation. No matter how dire the consequences. But I remember everything about them because I have a very, very good memory. And as posted above, it is shameful.

Mine are in between and I will avoid things if I can if they are too stressful for me. But if I am forced in it, I have tantrum like behaviors and it's normally people that trigger them because I don't have control over my environment then and I need it to be less stressful. I got kicked out of class when I tried taking a fun class from community college and I got frustrated because I needed more visual instructions than being told how to do it and I had my meltdown and I paced and cried and no one would help me until I calmed down but I couldn't calm down until another student stepped in and helped me. What triggered it was my fear of not being able to finish my pillow, the class was three hours long and there were only four classes total so I had limited time to get it all done and plus we were going to be doing another project and I got anxious and scared when I wasn't getting help so I freaked out and was all of a sudden acting abnormal in front of everyone. I had forgotten about my own needs because I hadn't been in school in a long time and I thought I wouldn't need an aide so I didn't ask for any accommodations when I signed up. So I was kicked out and they refunded my money. I took responsibility over it by accepting the refund and moving on knowing I screwed up and I know next time. But my meltdown stopped alright when I got what I wanted so was it a tantrum? That is why I say I am in between.

This description doesn't really seem like a meltdown to me.
It seems too controlled still, more like normal response to stress.

Yeah, you weren't there. You didn't see the full extent. It was a loss of control. So, until you actually see it happen, you can keep your diagnosis to yourself.

I have memory of my meltdowns, however they are usually fuzzy, as if I were drunk. I think it has to do with the fight or flight response. The adrenaline kicks in, and for some reason the memory isn't clear. I don't know why, and I don't care to research it at the moment.

Those who have angry outbursts often don't remember the incident clearly, so I'm not sure if that's a good way to differentiate between the two.

I guess it really depends on how "meltdown", "tantrum", and "angry outburst" are defined. I'm not sure whether there's actually a consensus among professionals what the differences are.

I have done things during my episodes and have no memories of it. I once called my mom a b***h and didn't know I had, I have hit her with a hairbrush and didn't know I had, I have said hurtful things and have no memory of it. It's like I block things out even though I can still see what I am doing but it's like someone else is telling me afterwards I did this and I never saw myself do it.