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obsessingoverobsessions
Pileated woodpecker
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06 Mar 2016, 3:35 pm

I have 3 cousins, who are unaware of the fact that I suspect I have autism (I'm about 90% sure).
The oldest, who is 15, made a horrible joke about autistic people and said they'll never be "like us".
My 13 year old cousin just laughed, and my 8 year old cousin asked "what is autism?"
My 13 year old cousin then made a really offensive impression of autism, where he flapped his hands, violently shook his head, and repeated "I'm a ret*d, I'm a ret*d"
I just feel really offended by this, even though he is only 13, I am too, and I feel he should know better, especially doing this in front of an 8 year old. I didn't say anything, I just felt too hurt and I didn't want to seem "nerdy" by telling everyone what autism really is, but now I also feel bad for not explaining it properly to my youngest cousin now.
Sorry, I just felt like ranting...


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cathylynn
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06 Mar 2016, 3:48 pm

take an opportunity when you're alone with the 8 y. o. to explain the truth. sorry this happened.



ZombieBrideXD
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06 Mar 2016, 3:51 pm

they are children and uneducated and probably learned that from their peers.

You as an adult can educate them and teach them that their view on autism is wrong and hurtful.

one of My cousins who is 12 was talking about a autistic boy in his class who is annoying and smells bad, i told my cousin that he doesn't need to play or hang out with the autistic boy but remember this boy doesn't know what hes doing is annoying you, hes just trying to make friends and he doesn't know that his smell is offensive and probably has a hard time taking care of his hygiene, just respect the kid and dont pick on him, maybe you can help him by telling him when hes being annoying or when hes being rude. I use another boy on my reserve with more severe autism as an example and explain why he behaves the way he does.


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ChristianSmith
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06 Mar 2016, 3:52 pm

When I was 13 I was a complete fool, I messed around and made unkind comments, try to not think it was aimed at you. Teenage boys can be complete idiots at times.

People make fun of things they have no knowledge of sometimes


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shadowtag
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06 Mar 2016, 4:35 pm

Yes,he probably learned that from people around him,the concept of people on the ASD spectrum being "ret*d" is a common one,it saddens me that term like others has been vulgarized to describe people or things one dislikes and is used to portray something undesirable or awful.I'm sorry this happed to you,as ChristianSmith indicated teenage boys can be idiots sometimes and can make fun of something they don't understand or may find strange.Even I have laughed at jokes in regard to other people which I regret.Try not to hold it against him,he is still very young.


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AspieUtah
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06 Mar 2016, 4:43 pm

cathylynn wrote:
take an opportunity when you're alone with the 8 y. o. to explain the truth. sorry this happened.

And, don't forget to mention some autistic celebrities that your cousins might know (Craig Nicholls of The Vines, mathematics savant Daniel Tammet, urban-landscape artist Stephen Wiltshire and probably Alan Turing who invented the computer). While your cousins might not have good things to say about their autistic schoolmates, they might respect our autistic celebrities.


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EzraS
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07 Mar 2016, 8:13 am

Tough situation. But I think for a lot of kids autism is something kind of mythical to them.

And even kids with autism sometimes make fun of kids with worse autism and mimic them.



SocOfAutism
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07 Mar 2016, 9:34 am

I agree with the other posters. Take the 8 year old aside and explain autism.

You can even do that with the others.

I usually can't respond at the time of the situation in real life because I'm either too taken aback or too mad to deal it things appropriately then. The times that I have gone up to the person and set things straight I've felt MUCH better about it and usually end up being friends or allies with the other person. The times I just let it go I've always regretted it.



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16 Mar 2016, 2:05 am

EzraS wrote:
Tough situation. But I think for a lot of kids autism is something kind of mythical to them.

And even kids with autism sometimes make fun of kids with worse autism and mimic them.


I used to mimic kids in my self contained classroom when I was 6 and 7 because I thought it was normal behavior. I didn't know any better and I thought the teacher assigned different rules to certain students because she only allowed them to do those behaviors and not the rest of us. That was why my parents got me out of there because it would have been hard to get me to not do them if I was surrounded by it thinking it was all normal. But I wasn't the only one who mimicked, other kids did it too in my class. But that was special ed.


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EzraS
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16 Mar 2016, 7:33 am

League_Girl wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Tough situation. But I think for a lot of kids autism is something kind of mythical to them.

And even kids with autism sometimes make fun of kids with worse autism and mimic them.


I used to mimic kids in my self contained classroom when I was 6 and 7 because I thought it was normal behavior. I didn't know any better and I thought the teacher assigned different rules to certain students because she only allowed them to do those behaviors and not the rest of us. That was why my parents got me out of there because it would have been hard to get me to not do them if I was surrounded by it thinking it was all normal. But I wasn't the only one who mimicked, other kids did it too in my class. But that was special ed.


I meant older kids in my school mimicking kids with more severe autism than they have, to tease them and make fun of them. Does not happen all the time, but it does happen.



SocOfAutism
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16 Mar 2016, 8:59 am

League_Girl wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Tough situation. But I think for a lot of kids autism is something kind of mythical to them.

And even kids with autism sometimes make fun of kids with worse autism and mimic them.


I used to mimic kids in my self contained classroom when I was 6 and 7 because I thought it was normal behavior. I didn't know any better and I thought the teacher assigned different rules to certain students because she only allowed them to do those behaviors and not the rest of us. That was why my parents got me out of there because it would have been hard to get me to not do them if I was surrounded by it thinking it was all normal. But I wasn't the only one who mimicked, other kids did it too in my class. But that was special ed.


Well now that brings up an entirely different issue. My husband has Asperger's and wasn't diagnosed until his mid-thirties, although he was in a "gifted and talented" program in grade school that segregated some of the students. Many of those later turned out to be autistic. But for most of school he was in with regular students. He said he wouldn't have known how to behave in regular life if he had continued on with the gifted students.



kraftiekortie
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16 Mar 2016, 9:42 am

Yep...what you just said is probably the prime justification for the concept of "inclusion" in education.



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16 Mar 2016, 9:46 am

SocOfAutism wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Tough situation. But I think for a lot of kids autism is something kind of mythical to them.

And even kids with autism sometimes make fun of kids with worse autism and mimic them.


I used to mimic kids in my self contained classroom when I was 6 and 7 because I thought it was normal behavior. I didn't know any better and I thought the teacher assigned different rules to certain students because she only allowed them to do those behaviors and not the rest of us. That was why my parents got me out of there because it would have been hard to get me to not do them if I was surrounded by it thinking it was all normal. But I wasn't the only one who mimicked, other kids did it too in my class. But that was special ed.


Well now that brings up an entirely different issue. My husband has Asperger's and wasn't diagnosed until his mid-thirties, although he was in a "gifted and talented" program in grade school that segregated some of the students. Many of those later turned out to be autistic. But for most of school he was in with regular students. He said he wouldn't have known how to behave in regular life if he had continued on with the gifted students.



I only attended normal class when I was seven for music, library, or PE but it wasn't enough. It was something my school did for inclusion to expose us to normal kids so we could learn to act appropriate and learn social skills or whatever but it wasn't enough for me. There is no way I could have been around other aspie kids and other kids with learning issues or ADD or whatsoever as a child and still learn how to act. Even home schooling might have been out of the question even though that might have been the only option then when I was going into junior high but instead we moved and then things were better for me because of smaller school district and they were willing to give me the help I needed than trying to say I didn't need an aide and a lot less students so less stress on teachers and school principal. So there wasn't any bullying for me because it would have stood out.


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League_Girl
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16 Mar 2016, 9:49 am

EzraS wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
EzraS wrote:
Tough situation. But I think for a lot of kids autism is something kind of mythical to them.

And even kids with autism sometimes make fun of kids with worse autism and mimic them.


I used to mimic kids in my self contained classroom when I was 6 and 7 because I thought it was normal behavior. I didn't know any better and I thought the teacher assigned different rules to certain students because she only allowed them to do those behaviors and not the rest of us. That was why my parents got me out of there because it would have been hard to get me to not do them if I was surrounded by it thinking it was all normal. But I wasn't the only one who mimicked, other kids did it too in my class. But that was special ed.


I meant older kids in my school mimicking kids with more severe autism than they have, to tease them and make fun of them. Does not happen all the time, but it does happen.


I guess the difference is those kids full well know those behaviors are "wrong" and it's not how you act but they do it anyway to make fun of them than because they think it's normal behavior or because of "peer pressure."


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SocOfAutism
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16 Mar 2016, 2:34 pm

You know, it would be really helpful if we had autistic adults act as consultants and put together a list of recommended accommodations for autistic children in school. Like, for this issue, we recommend this. For that, we recommend this other thing.



greenylynx
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16 Mar 2016, 3:43 pm

SocOfAutism wrote:
You know, it would be really helpful if we had autistic adults act as consultants and put together a list of recommended accommodations for autistic children in school. Like, for this issue, we recommend this. For that, we recommend this other thing.

I'm actually working with a friend of mine who is currently in the process of creating a video game community. He's asked for my assistance in assuring people with differences are just as welcome as everybody is because of my unique experience as an Aspie and otherwise.