Do you hate it when someone says they are proud of you?

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neptunekh
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18 Mar 2016, 5:12 pm

My self esteem is so low I have no feeling of self worth. I felt angry when my chair aerobics teacher told me she was proud of me.



kraftiekortie
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18 Mar 2016, 5:34 pm

It depends upon WHY someone said they were proud of you.

I suck at baseball. I wouldn't get upset if somebody told me they were proud of me for getting a home run--because I've never hit a home run in my life.

If you're naturally great at chair-aerobics, you might get upset if somebody says they're"proud of you." This is because you have a great ability in this, and this might be an indicating that the person saying they're "proud of you" doesn't think you have great ability.



zkydz
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18 Mar 2016, 5:48 pm

Actually, yeah, because I cannot fathom what I did that passed muster this go around. So, I get stuck analyzing things to see what worked.


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18 Mar 2016, 6:23 pm

Don't hate it but I feel a bit uncomfortable when people give me compliments and then expect some kind of reaction, because I want my response neither to look vain nor overmodest.



Riik
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18 Mar 2016, 6:31 pm

I often feel patronised by this. Usually, people say they're proud over things I don't feel I need to be proud about and don't seem proud over the stuff I actually am proud of.

e.g. "I'm proud of you for keeping eye-contact during this session".

Further more, it's very very rare anyone's ever said they're proud of me and actually meant it. I mean I know I'm bad at telling when someone means something or not, but it happens so rarely over such insignificant things...


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aspieff14
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19 Mar 2016, 3:11 pm

I don't think I hate it so much as the statement makes me so very uncomfortable due to not knowing what or how to react or reply to it.


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19 Mar 2016, 4:29 pm

neptunekh wrote:
Do you hate it when someone says they are proud of you?
Only when it is obvious that they're just sucking up.


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Jensen
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20 Mar 2016, 7:01 pm

It can be very patronizing - and embarrassing.


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EzraS
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21 Mar 2016, 1:23 am

In certain situations yeah.



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21 Mar 2016, 2:01 am

I would take it in the spirit in which it was offered. if given with a mirthful smile I would receive it with a mirthful smile.



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21 Mar 2016, 2:15 am

It depends on the context, but most of the time I do feel awkward about it. What am I supposed to say beyond 'Thanks' or 'I know'? Toot my own horn?



Catlover5
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21 Mar 2016, 10:43 am

I like to be praised, but when I get a lot of praise, I don't like it for some reason. Maybe it's because I don't like to be fussed over.



compiledkernel
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21 Mar 2016, 10:56 am

I tend to dislike praise primarily because it puts more pressure on me as a person to perform at greater levels.


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Claradoon
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21 Mar 2016, 12:20 pm

I don't mind it but it sounds inappropriate. I can't wrap my head around what part of me belongs to them to be proud of. It is a form of judgement, isn't it?



Trogluddite
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21 Mar 2016, 1:54 pm

@Claradoon. Yes, to me pride seems more like something felt by oneself for one's own achievements. It never quite feels right to me when people express pride in another person (or their country, sports team etc.). Why are they telling me about an emotion that they are experiencing, if the intent is to compliment me?

I don't object, because I guess that most people would think I'm just being picky about semantics, but I can't imagine ever using that form of compliment myself.

In a more general sense, ever since I was a kid, I've always become very bashful when I'm complimented, especially if it is done in front of other people. I don't feel offended - it's just that I'm really introverted and so I don't like being the focus of people's attention.


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OrdinaryDanny
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21 Mar 2016, 3:54 pm

It is often that respect is given to me over meaningless, simple and ordinary tasks that get accomplished in my daily life. This means that when people congratulate me over these simple things, it makes me feel like there is nothing else I would ever achieve in my life thus resulting in me feeling inadequate and a great failure.

I hate it when people are proud of me for something that is not at all rewarding, and humdrum to our existence. If only people would stop sharing their false respect for me and ignore whatever I have supposedly "achieved", because at the end of the day they are only relying on praising me to boost their self-esteem. :roll: