why is expressing our emotions hard for us then a NT?

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they say we are emotionless or dont have empathy.

is this a cognitive issue or something?

Not emotionless, just a deficit in expressing emotions.
Expressing emotions is a social thing. It requires thinking about the other persons perspective.
Also it may be hard to accurately identify your own emotions.

I'm not emotionless, i may lack a bit of empathy but always try to understand...
I express my emotions different to NT's and when i try to understand them its in more of a logical sense rather than on some mystical emotional level..
Just because we can be a little different to the norm, doesn't mean that we don't have our own way and it doesn't mean we are any less.

I have trouble expressing myself well. Period. And when it comes to emotions, I can't express them properly at any time.

What exactly does it mean to express emotion? Yell, scream, shout, cry? That is my definition of it. From my understanding people on the spectrum may not show them right like they might smile when they are upset or laugh when they are nervous. I think it may also mean doing it in a immature manner for example a ten year old girl may be acting like a five year old when she is very upset because she is acting the way a five year old would behave when they are upset. She is expressing her emotions alright but the reason why they may say she has a hard time with it is because she does it inappropriately. Am I right?

TBH I am not sure how good I am at it. I know I act pretty childish when it comes to emotions.

Heck if I even know my current emotional state. If there's a word for it, I don't know it. There are times it's clear what I'm feeling because the emotions are strong, but all the other times I'm just completely confused with what I'm feeling. Sometimes this issue drives me crazy, but it is what it is.

How do I express my current emotion? Does aapsdopdfuidejklfshklgklfh make any sense? That's all I can think of. XD

Naturally, that doesn't make me emotionless. And if I didn't have empathy, movies and games wouldn't make me cry so much. This is just the way it is. For many of us. As to why, well I could wave my fingers in the air and say "autism" as if it's some mysterious force, and some might say that's sufficient an explanation (honestly, it's the best I've got) but I'm sure there's someone out there (somewhere in the Universe) who actually knows what's going on. Unfortunately, that person is not me.

It's hard to say which is less logical humans or emotions, but regardless the logical, analytical, or simply different mind of the ND has a harder time grasping certain concepts where emotions are concerned. For example, just trying to think about this issue with emotions makes my head hurt

Me trying to express an emotion:

This made my day.

Wow....that's me to a tee. If I can't draw on some external frame of reference, I can't find the words.

Well all my emotions are layered through a bunch of logical BS is what my ex girlfriend tells me. The real reason behind an emotion is always layered by a defense mechanism. And I guess this defense mechanism comes out in the way I express myself as well.

Except that I am really good at emoting in the Haunted House I work at. But I guess that's a different emotion, I suppose. I don't know how I manage to be scary and creepy. I just am.

Yes, "they" say that because of a cognitive issue. People who are not autistic are often not cognisant of an autistic person's feelings because "they" lack empathy for autistic people! The ridiculous 'robot' or 'Mr. Spock' stereotypes tell us far more about NT people than they do about autistic people, IMHO.

There is so often the implication that it is only the autistic person's recognition of NT emotions that is impaired. NT people might recognise our emotions better, if only they expended as much effort to understand how autistic people express their feelings, as they expect autistic people to expend understanding how they express theirs.

What's the most basic, simple, clichéd rule of compassion? It's a platitude that get wheeled out all the time. We're told that we should ask ourselves...
"What would I want if it was me?"
Neurotypical and autistic people just don't always get the same answer! When the answer is wrong, the resulting action is liable to be seen as uncaring or heartless by the other person, even if there is a genuine intention to be compassionate.

^ Very well said Trogluddite.

There is so often the implication that it is only the autistic person's recognition of NT emotions that is impaired. NT people might recognise our emotions better, if only they expended as much effort to understand how autistic people express their feelings, as they expect autistic people to expend understanding how they express theirs.

I have thought this for ages!! !
Well said indeed..

I think we're a mixed bag to them. We don't react the way they expect. We have communication and regulation issues. We confound them because we can generally do things that baffle them, but fail at the simple things they take for granted. They don't understand the difference between losing your temper and losing control because of sensory input or other things that get bottled up.

We are as alien to them as they are to us.

I think a little understanding would go well both ways.

NT's and Aspies want the opposite of each other. That's a theory I came up with anyway.