Ever had this happen to you?

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Someone you know-family member, friend--in their desire to "communicate" with you, picks up on the misguided, "Spectrum people like blunt, straightfoward, emotionless talk," and thus proceed to treat you very coldly at the time, out of their totally wrong-headed idea of how they are to approach you and deal with you?

Happens to me a lot. I usually get "Sorry for boring you, or if you don't want to talk to me then you say it!" lol which usually gets me puzzled at the time. I guess I don't know how the pitch of my voice sounds like sometimes because sometime when I respond or answer whatever there is they're talking about they're all like "Sorry to get you mad, or you don't have to be all angry about it!" Theres times when I was happy to give a response but I guess my voice did a terrible job on reflecting that. I've gotten use to these response over the years but it still sucks though. Until I found out I had Asperger I never knew what was the cause of this.

For me, I think it comes back to this lie that "Spectrum people feel no emotions," which is the complete opposite of my case.If anything, I feel them wayyyyy too much.

I think its the most for majority of the Aspie community. I sometimes feel like I feel emotions that even NT's don't even feel. They're emotions seem simple for the most part like happy, sad, angry you get the gist. For me I feel those too don't get me wrong but it goes so much more deeper than that and that's why I feel like it's hard to describe or express my emotions. The feelings can be overwhelming and can come out of nowhere at times. Any little thing can spark an emotion. There's also the intensity of the emotions as well. If I feel happy or sad or anything you won't really tell. I'll most likely just have a blank slate on my face but I can easily tell you what I feel. But when I have a powerful emotion or just that happiness level is pretty high it just wraps around my whole body and mind and that's when the trouble comes with expressing it as sometimes I feel stuff that I don't even think has a word in the human dictionary.

In my experience, the Autistic brain seems to experience emotions very intensely (thus the frequently comorbid chronic depression), but I think the range of our emotional palette is more limited than the nuerotypcial, which is to say passion comes easy to us, whether it's anger or love, but there's a whole range of more subtle emotion in between that we generally find harder to access or understand.

Then of course, there are the fake emotions that NTs put on for each other, like hilarity over things that are at best only moderately amusing, or not funny at all, or faux sympathy for the misfortunes of people they don't even like.

OTOH, they don't seem to comprehend my normal state of detached bemusement, either. They often interpret it as hostility or pouting, when in fact, I have no expression at all (that I'm aware of), I'm simply choosing not to join them in their fawning social hypocrisy.

Yeah that is one thing NT's have trouble understanding, that sometime you can just have no emotion about some stuff. They think that you have to feel something all the time. I'm sure they also have that feeling as well but for some reason they think that they must display emotion for whatever reason and that's when the fake emotions come out. To tell you the truth I hate it when they do that. I don't think I will ever understand the need for them to do it or why they always want to impress each other. Have you guys always notice that majority of the time they alway try to one up each other? Pretty weird if you ask me.

Well yes, they're going to interpret it as hostility when you don't join the rest of the group in their fawning social hypocrisy. You're daring to be different. You're rebelling against everyone who's going along and blending in. Some of them probably resent, or are envious of, your freedom and independence in being yourself.

...

As a NT, when something bad happen to people, I act as im suppose to act in that situations, no matter if i have any feeling. At least i try. If i can help, i help, if not, stay away. In my experience, people don´t like when people who aren´t their close friends ask them what happened, unless they have none.

Yes! THIS^^^
I would balk in confusion when my NT friends would say something like this, and be like- wtf are you talking about?? But then they would be confused about why I didn't understand.
Annnd then my mom or some other dumb NT that can't accept AS would say it's because I'm a "pure untainted old soul" or some s**t.
I can't believe people still see AS people like that. It annoys me a bit... like AS is the "cute innocent child-like people" syndrome.

I hate this. Why can't facts just be facts? WHY???! ! Why can't people leave it well alone- it just is sometimes...

"Have you guys always notice that majority of the time they always try to one up each other? Pretty weird if you ask me."
^^^
ALWAYS. And NTs that know me laugh or are amazed when I don't act impressed over stuff like that. For the longest time I didn't understand.... I literally SHOULD find this social posturing s**t impressive...... because it's supposed to be impressive. I'm literally supposed to be amazed by social power and ... other stuff like that. It just washes over me with no importance...
That's like I was at a cocktail party the other day (I was dragged and knew no one- I was horrified and so nervous)
and I realized compliments get you a long way. Also, if you validate other people's sense of self-worth (regardless of the objective worth) or whatever during the obligatory "chit-chat" part of any intro conversation... this goes over well!
It's crazy to me.. People really like validation. Whereas, I could care less. I'm more into objective and logical stuff.
however, the rest of society does not care about logical. Like, I like being "validated" but only if it truly is worthy of being validated. Like a hypothesis, I want it to be correct if the facts and data actually make it so, not because it would hurt my feelings and I would be personally slighted if the data didn't work out in my favor, and Oh, woe is me the data is out to ruin my career why me? (I'm being over the top but....not by much)

Anyway, after I talk to this woman about her job for like 15-20mins we have I guess passed the territory (and were drunk enough??) to talk about things I find more interesting... like not about boring work or the f*cking weather.
I don't know how many times I can go "Been unseasonably cold lately hasn't it ??" without tearing my hair out. But people just looooove talking about this!
Now, if we were talking about actual meteorological patterns - I'm there, but JUST the weather with no details... holy hell BORING.

It would be interesting to talk to a meteorologist about the weather. That might be more interesting that normal small talk. I admit, I only use it to reduce awkward silences. I really don't care too much about the weather unless it's really bad (tornadoes and bad rain storms occur where I live). I try my best to be seen as "normal" on the surface so people won't have a clue that I have Asperger's Syndrome. I would rather not explain it to people. Most don't understand and they're shocked whenever I tell them.

I hear you on that. I notice that as well that they love compliments about anything they do.They HATE constructive criticism. Even when it's to help them and make them better. I like it when people are blunt with me and not nice so they don't hurt my feelings. I actually told a friend once to be blunt with me and if they don't like something tell me or if I messed up or if my idea was flawed tell me. Constructive criticism goes a long way and I like it. He ended up telling me that he didn't want to hurt my feelings plus it would be a rude thing to do and not polite. That baffled me. As long as your not being rude just to be rude and are actually trying to help me out then yes point it out and don't agree with me or compliment me. I take that as an insult. Yes the criticism might hurt my feelings a little ( not by much) but I'm more glad that someone told me so I can go an approve and not look like a dumbass to other people. That's my two cents on that haha hope that makes sense. Suck at explaining stuff.

I don't tell many people that I have autism, and those I do tell are generally people who know me well. Because of this people don't often treat me differently because of my autism because they either know me well or they don't know that I'm autistic.

I do remember one time a few months ago when a doctor I was visiting (who knew I am autistic from my medical records) talked to me as if I were much younger then I am. It felt pretty insulting, even though I know that it wasn't his intention.

I think it is ironic when people do that, fore generally Autistics are much smarter than them.

Yeah I get talked to by some in a clinical type fashion. Slow and deliberate, to make sure they are getting through to me. That or they talk to me like I am a little kid. My pediatrician specializes in kids with autism, so he's cool.

to me, it keeps bringing me back to one of my most favorite Simpsons quotes: