Research-a-holic

Post Reply New Topic

I read in another thread about an AS characteristic...about learning, and living the information. Which got me to thinking seriously (when do I not think seriously, but anyway...) about my interests. I have this incredible need to research everything I am interested in.

But worse than that, I want to share what I learn about these particular subjects (such as my favorite - human behavior) but my husband is never interested...nobody is interested. It's like I'm all excited, about to burst with knowlege, I turn around and I'm all alone on a stage... I see one person in the audience, way in the back, and he is asleep...then I feel lonely and kind of hurt. But I think I finally get it...other people really aren't supposed to be interested. But it's so hard to imagine why no-one would be! I mean, I can have a situation figured out, and I've got my proof in my hot little hands (printed pages with highlighted bits), and I'll take it to my husband and he'll back away from me like I've got a plague, "Oh No, none of that internet B/S". You'd think he could at least pretend to be interested. I pretend to care all about tanks and WWII.

Does anyone else do this?

I feel that way when it comes to people I just learn about.

I am the exact same way. I Google something as soon as I hear/learn about it, and read everything on Wikipedia I can. Most people in my lives don't want to hear about my "research" though. It usually comes out as random facts when dealing with other situations.

Yep I know what you mean completely. Occasionally I find someone who is into it. It is good to rack the brains of someone who knows what they are talking about.

You basically have to find a specialized forums to share interests. I share a couple of interests with my husband, but he is not as interested in them in the way I am!

This has been a constant frustration for me....it confuses me and I keep being surprised by general public lack of interest in learning(about things I am interested in).I dont know why,after 43 years I keep being taken by surprise by this...lol.It is just that it is SO exciting to me.....How could they not be interested?

My recent obsession(about a year now)is AS.I have an As DX but my boyfriends eyes,literally glaze over if I say anything related to WP or AS.I am AS,I believe he maybe AS and yet he could care less about learning anything about it...what could be more relevant?On the other hand....if he starts talking about every detail about his latest guitar purchase(yawn)I can only feign interest for a few minutes(who could possible care about what kind of fret is on a 1984 "whatever"...blah).

I can so relate to this. I think it's probably part of the reason why I talk to myself so much.

I've gotten fairly good at reminding myself that no one wants to hear a diatribe about the latest book I've been reading or the newest fact I've learned. Sometimes I don't catch myself though (especially if someone sees me reading and asks me about it) and I end up feeling stupid in retrospect.

With me it's usually musicians or TV people, but can be just about anything. I could quite happily sit for days finding out about them and relaying the information to my long suffering boyfriend. He does the same with his music too and I'm not interested at all. The thing with me is that after a week or two the obsession with finding information about someone/something vanishes. Then I find something new.

I am right there with ya'll. I research things endlessly. To do anything less would seem wrong. But as I have aged, I have learned how to balance my intense focus with others' dis-interest.

He probably feels overwhelmed at the degree of information you've gathered, knowing how much you've emotionally invested yourself in it.

Learn to paraphrase. People like to hear things in brief analogies. If you overload them with arcana, they won't know whether you're telling them something that has grounding in fact or spinning ridiculous nonsense from pretty words. You may have researched the material enough that you actually understand the ins and outs of the subject matter, but you have to keep in mind that, if you want to interest someone in it, you have to give them an attractive, easily understandable abstract. Remember, when sorting your thoughts, keep your broad ideas at the top, fine points at the bottom. If the listener indicates satisfaction, don't be misled into thinking that this means you should continue; a sign of satisfaction or appreciation, such as "Mmm hmm" (if ended with a dropping note) or "that sounds very interesting," is not an indication that you should go on to address the finer points, and its actual meaning is that the listener is interested in the topic but would like to have time to digest the subject matter or do independent investigation. The signal that you should continue to finer points is usually a brief response that ends on a rising note: a word like "okay," when ended with a rising note, means that you should continue. If you are uncertain, just give a brief list of headers (brief descriptions of ideas pertaining to the broader point, as with newspaper headers), and consider the conversation ended if you don't get a clear sign of immediate interest after you are finished with a breath.

Oh, and I do the same thing. Once I get excited about a subject, I just go nuts over it.

I get obsessed with researching, but my husband loves it. It was one of the things he really liked about me when we met. He loves all kinds of intellectual pursuits. I also have quirky, intellectual, eccentric friends who like that as well. They are NT though because they can read non-verbal and they socialize well. I guess I lucked out with outlets for my interests.


Maybe you could see if there are groups that discuss those interests so you can share what you know. Or join an online discussion group about it and "present" what you know in a forum setting. That would give you a chance to externalize it in an appropriate setting.

I have been accused of being "oblivious" and "not having a mind that loves to learn" in the past HAHA. People sometimes think that because I may not know the name of a popular TV presenter or some popular band that I must be silly. The truth is that my mind exists to learn, just not about garbage that does not matter. From my point of view anyway I am a different type of human that is not stimulated by the things most people are. Therefore eachothers deep interests seem like a waste of time from the the others perspective.

I research things of interest until I exhaust them and then I move on. This is the main motivation for changing career at this point and returning to University. I have been trying to find a subject which will take many years to learn and master. Mastery is my usual signal for change/loss of interest.