What do you do to cope with executive functioning issues?

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Executive functioning is by far the most difficult thing for me. I'm constantly stressed out because there are always tons of things in the back of my head I know I need to get done, from cleaning to budgeting my money to just random tasks that take me way too long to complete.

I usually end up prioritizing one or two things that are the most important, at the expense of everything else. My license plates are currently expired, and besides that I've been mainly just focusing on paying off debts and budgeting as I think those are the most important. As a result, my apartment is always a compete mess, I still haven't returned my old internet modem to Centurylink, and I always buy microwave food or fast food because making my own food just seems way too complicated, along with a myriad of other things. It sucks because I want to be healthy, and making my own food would be cheaper too. But whenever I try to do this and other things like cleaning, I might do a little bit, but I end up just sitting around doing literally nothing for hours.

I've thought maybe setting up certain days to do certain things like cleaning, planning etc. would help, but even that is really difficult to figure out. Especially when my work schedule right now isn't really clear, it keeps changing because apparently the owners don't know how to run the place properly.

My brother is not diagnosed with autism but he does have a lot of autistic traits including executive functioning problems. He handles it by keeping a list of everything he needs to get done separated into 3 priority levels and he refers to it regularly. My life is still an unorganized mess while he will have a bachelors degree by the time he is old enough to drive, so I'd say it's working. You might want to try something like that.

Get those license plates up to date. That's should be your priority.

I use a phone app where I can put in the tasks I need to do each day. I fill it in each morning and then just work my way through it. The hard bit if figuring out what needs to be done first. My priority is something like:

(1) Activities related to mine or my son's immediate health and well-being e.g. keeping alive, safe and well
(2) Things I must do to stay on the right side of the law - e.g. paying car tax, paying bills, keeping to legal obligations.
(3) General household jobs (and work when I can get it.)

(4) Other stuff

Though it's hard to figure out to begin with, I think attempting to, just taking any stab at it, is the way to go. Use a planner. Decide if you prefer an electronic one or a hard copy one. I had to really think it out to figure out what kind of planner I needed - I ended up knowing I wanted a large one, with sections that show the whole month with room to write stuff on the different days, but also either devoting one page per day or two pages for a whole week, so that the whole week can be seen at once, and there's plenty of room to write stuff down. That way I won't forget stuff - the first things that must must must go in are dates/deadlines that involve other parties, because those are non-negotiable, so due dates, appointments, special events, birthdays/aniversaries, assignments/exams (for students) - if I don't do this, I will forget. (If that sounds boring, put on some music you like or a movie you like, and just slog through it). Next, when do you plan to run repetitive errands - get groceries, go to the post office if you do that regularly, church/religious stuff - stuff like that. It's like fitting together a puzzle piece by piece, as what some things require will influence how you can fit the other pieces in. Eventually, you should see a basic weekly routine coming together. Cooking is great, but since you are managing to feed yourself for now, at least with microwave meals, don't worry about it for now. Are there other goals you have that you aren't doing so great at managing? If so, try to work those into you planner - meaning, when you will work on those things. When you get to the point that you can work on the cooking, you can break it down by when you need to find a recipe, when you need to get the groceries, when you need to cook - be sure to leave yourself plenty of extra time if possible, I always understimate the amount of time I need, as I easily get distracted, many other things come up unexpectedly (this is true for NTs as well, but they better handle the quick shifting/juggling of priorities and tasks when necessary).

Okay, I say all this kind of hypocritically. Yes, this is what I did for years earlier. Now....my battle is with apathy and exhaustion - I don't CARE anymore. I do care - I need to deal with my lack of executive functioning...yet I"m so sick and tired of that battle that I've thrown in the towel of sorts and am letting all kinds of things get messy and neglected in my life now. I need rest, I need some motivation, and yet I"m struggling to find it. So I have totally neglected my planner - well almost, I only have my exam/assignment due dates, and I work on those at the very last minute, cheating myself of true learning and the best grades....and yet I don't care enough Something in my has run out of gas, and I'm in search of a new fuel source. But yeah - if it weren't for that planner, I would have failed out of my classes. At least it is keeping me afloat. I find it much easier to look at a planner rather than login to my course websites every day, navigate them, and keep track of what is due when - that is just too much for me to do every day, I'll totally forget. So I need everything written down. I sometimes forget to look at the planner now, though!! I almost missed an exam last Saturday because of that. So....if you can get the planner together, then somehow remember to look at it once a day, that will be a start - it will help, even if it can't solve everything. Also, I am learning to give myself permission to miss stuff and mess stuff up. I always have let some things fall through the cracks, but I hated myself for it. Now I realize that may be my realistic set point....to always miss a few things. Maybe that's why I'm giving myself excessive rest right now, just to calm down a bit, stop hating on myself so much. The thought of my planner depresses me, *having* to do stuff, maybe I burned out. Because to survive in this world, I sure as heck have to get back to it. Currently searching for inspiration before I wind up a total "failure" from giving up the battle against poor executive functioning.

Maybe if you start hacking away at this probem, don't go so hard on yourself that you burn out like I did! No good for the long-term. Cut yourself some slack.

Lists don't work for me unless someone else does the list because I struggle to prioritize the list and then use the time I should have spent doing tasks making a list about doing them. :/

I live with my wife, so I take the couple of tasks I can do and generally live in a mess. I also use my phone's calendar function for events.

Once we move to a place where we can hire our own cleaner (currently we can only hire them from our landlord and we have pets we're not meant to have), I'm going to use some of my disability money for that. I'm also waiting for the day I can get a dishwasher.

I figure the fewer demands I have on myself, the better I will do with the ones I have. (Generally, this does work better for me - unfortunately this means I'm constantly behind on something at the moment.)

@ L_Holmes

I feel really similarly to the way you have described how you feel. I can't concentrate on more than one or two things at a time. And I don't mean in a particular moment, or day. I have to have just one or two things that I work on accomplishing long-term---days, weeks, or months. If I try to focus on more than that, I feel overwhelmed and confused. So usually all of the other things get pushed to the side and neglected. I haven't figured out how best to deal with my executive functioning issues yet.

But over the years I have developed habits that make some things easier. Cleaning isn't usually too hard for me. It often takes priority because I can't stand dirt and mess. I usually have one day a week where I make sure I do certain types of cleaning that don't need to be done as often. Otherwise, I do many things every day or as needed.

Other things I do are associated with other habits. I may always do one thing after I do something else, like doing dishes as soon as the meal is over. It turns into a habit eventually, and I don't have to think about it anymore or remind myself. I associate some habits with a time of day, like in the morning or before bed.

I have apps for my phone that I use. I make lists and keep them on my phone. I'm looking for a good planner app. Physical lists don't work well for me. They get lost or I forget to bring them or write on them. And real planners are too bulky; it also takes too much time for me to write everything out and flip through pages.

I'm still working on finding better ways to accomplish things, stay organized, and motivate myself.

The trick to using a planner is to pick one you like and put EVERYTHING in it. I use Microsoft OneNote, which is on both my phone and my computer so it's always convenient. It has different tabs that can be categorized, so I have a section for tasks I need to get done, one for things that pop into my head that I would otherwise forget, one for work schedules, one where I keep a copy of every lisence or health care card or other kinds of records that I lose, one for my special interests where I can keep all my lists and notes, and so on. It's basically a stand-in for my memory. As far as tasks go, I make myself do two things on the list every day. I don't try to prioritize it, I just go straight down the list and everything hopefully gets done eventually. That said, I still have worse executive functioning than anyone I know, but this is the only thing that helps me keep up with life.

I try to use my 'need for routines' to my advantage. I have a list and schedule of certain things I have to do every day, and it feels familiar and comforting to do them. So most of the basic housework and personal care falls into that category.

And then there are things I need to do once a week, or twice a week, etc... If I'm having trouble with those, I put reminders on my Google calendar, and it emails me when I need to do it.

I survive by staying on top of everything, and never allowing anything to get out of control. I'm neurotically neat and organized, I set standards for cleanliness, and it feels good to live up to my goals. (There was a time when everything was a hopeless, depressing mess, and I vowed never to live that way again!)

As for getting out of a hopeless mess, I would recommend setting basic daily tasks you will always do (for the rest of your life), and then add 5 minutes on top of that, to make some progress in the more difficult areas. Eventually things will get better, and one day you'll feel like things are under control, and not hopelessly overwhelming.

These days my life is incredibly simple, and I spend about 15 minutes per day on housework and personal care. Everything stays neat and tidy, and my home is a happy, calm place. I'm probably extreme, in terms of simplifying my life to the bare minimum, but it's my solution to dealing with the fact that I simply can't handle much more than this.

I have this problem too. I'm not very motivated at all. I seem to want to be in bed, where it's nice and warm and safe. I suppose I feel more motivated in the warmer weather.

This is why I don't wear make-up (except for lipstick). I just can't be bothered with finding the time and the effort to put it on. A lot of women are so obsessed with it, and keep looking in the mirror all the time. Also with hair. I have a rather plain hairstyle (long and tucked behind ears). I just find it easier this way, although often I do feel unattractive when with other girls. This is why I'm afraid to wear glasses. I just know it will make me look really plain and a bit nerdy. I don't want to look like that (although being short-sighted does make me feel isolated at times).

I've been trying to find a good app for that. I want a planner that does everything, but none of them really do what I need them to do. They often have features that really make using the app too difficult, or are missing a feature that I absolutely need. I need an app that works with Android.



I do the same thing. Needing routine does make it easier to form habits. So it somewhat compensates for the poor executive functioning.

I have a really hard time with executive functioning and am always frustrated with myself over it.

Thanks for all the responses! I think what I'm going to try is to make a master list of things by priority that I can check every day, with sub lists all the way down to step by step instructions on how to compete the task. So I may not have to do everything on it every day, but it will help me to check stuff off in order of priority. That way I can focus totally on the next thing down the list without worrying that I'm forgetting something more important.

I haven't tried doing it this way before, so hopefully this will work better than my previous attempts at using to-do lists, planners etc. I think using the same list consistently will work better than trying to sit down and figure out what tasks need to be done every single day.

Story of my life. Here's how I have coped. One, medication helped me. Desipramine has a good balance for me of improving focus and increasing my energy level; which helps me get a lot more done.

A second thing is that I came up with a system of priorities that guides my daily activities. It has evolved considerably over the years, but now I have three basic priority levels- Critical, Essential, and Other. Critical is something that will bring me trouble if I don't do it (like not renewing my license plates- mine have expired before too). Essential is something I should do regularly. Other is generally stuff I want to do, but won't have consequences if I don't.

Some tasks are to be done daily, some weekly, and some monthly. Certain days of the week I do weekly tasks, others I do monthly tasks. Put it all together and I have a list of things to do for each day. The critical stuff gets done first, then the essentials, then Other.

Later it got even more complicated in order to be more flexible. I could do an Essential task first thing if it was time-critical or made my schedule work better (like exercising first thing in the morning, which allowed to be a lot more consistent about that). It all adds up to a complex system with very complex rules, but it helped me be a lot more productive and always has an answer for "what should I do next?". I'm a retired software engineer, but this might be the most complex program I ever wrote, even though its all in the form of text files and a few spreadsheets (and my head).

But I think there's a third part of coping- accepting that you can't do it all. I no longer have piles of overdue bills to pay and I don't run out of clean clothes, but I still eat mostly frozen food. I make sure to vacuum once a month now, but some people think it should be done daily. Don't beat up on yourself too much, especially if you struggle with depression, you only have so much mental and physical energy.

For motivational aspects of not getting things done, the only thing I find useful is to push yourself to start the things and complete them. It is like developing a habit of starting things and completing them. Over time, it becomes easier to do things. There are lots of decision steps on teh way, on the decision to start doing a thing, 1 minute later the decision to continue, 2 minutes later the same decision, 3 minutes, 15 minutes later the decision to complete the task instead of saving the rest for later, then 20 minutes later you could be done and feel good about getting something done. Each time it crosses your mind to stop, try to decide in favor of continuing. If the task is too long, break it up into shorter steps that take 5 instead of 15 minutes. Each step is a decision to take control over what you need to do, or give it up to your brain trying to screw you over.

Hi everyone, I am a psychologist and I'm thinking of specializing exactly in this: helping with executive functioning issues. I've observed that it's something widely ignored, and I know some young people with Asperger's at the University who have troubles with the executive functioning, and not any help to cope with them. That's why I'm so interested in this topic.

I have autistic traits but not executive issues. Well, lately I find it extremely difficult to keep my focus, but that's related to depression/anxiety, and I hope/wish it's temporary.

So, the question is: Now that you opened this thread I would like to know whether you get help from the psychologist or other professional for the executive dysfunctions. In that case, which professional, and in which country? I'd like to know the situation. Probably soon I will prepare a questionnaire to know exactly what people on the spectrum (And with ADHD?) demand, but now I would like to have a general ideal.


Thanks!