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AuroraBorealisGazer
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28 Jul 2015, 2:17 pm

How frequently (on average) do you have meltdowns?
How long do your meltdowns typically last?
Do you feel like you've suddenly regressed in age, and become five again?
What would you do if someone your cared about was having one?

I've been dealing with a lot lately, which has been resulting in several big meltdowns a week. Last night's one lasted several hours. It's exhausting. To make matters worse, my boyfriend always reacts in ways that make it a lot more severe. I wish I had someone who knew what to do.



starfox
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28 Jul 2015, 2:40 pm

Nowadays hardly ever but used to be about twice a week but that's because my environment was unstable and I had problems. Usually about 10 min. Yeah I feel like I regressed because I can't explain and I can't understand what people are saying and feel too much. I think if someone else had a meltdown it would help if the lights are turned off and all the people leave. Personaly I find it helps if one person talks to me about something different to what's going on; like they tell a story about something because it helps me to re-focus and 'come back'. But if someone starts to ask me questions that makes things worse because I can't answer questions in that state.


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AuroraBorealisGazer
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28 Jul 2015, 4:19 pm

starfox wrote:
But if someone starts to ask me questions that makes things worse because I can't answer questions in that state.


*Nods* Yes, I hate when they start asking me questions. During them I have periods of going non-verbal and, I often feel too overwhelmed to think clearly enough to translate thoughts/feelings into words. It makes it impossible to answer questions, just getting a single word out is nearly impossible! And when I can get a word (or a string of words) out, I have zero control of my tone or volume. They say I sound like I am whining, or yelling, or snapping (being irritable), etc.



Arcnarenth
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28 Jul 2015, 6:35 pm

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
How frequently (on average) do you have meltdowns?
This one really varies for me. I had a meltdown/shutdown about a week and a half ago. Prior to that it was probably four months ago. Over a year ago I was having meltdowns and three times a week or more. Granted, this was right before I had to be hospitalized for major depression.

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
How long do your meltdowns typically last?
For me it depends on the severity of the meltdown, but anywhere from a half hour to a hour. When I was at my worst though, about 10 years ago, I was non-verbal for several hours at a time. Really freaked out my parents, but I had no control over it.

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
Do you feel like you've suddenly regressed in age, and become five again?
Yep, and my family has picked up on it too. They try to 'talk me down,' but they've said it's like trying to reason with a child at times. With certain things I'm calm and collected when others are completely freaking out. Put me in a tight, crowded, hot room and I become a 5-year-old.

AuroraBorealisGazer wrote:
What would you do if someone your cared about was having one?
My niece has autism as well so meltdowns have become a part of everyday life for the past six years or so. It's best to just let her have her moment and understand she's not just misbehaving, but reacting to something overwhelming for her. To the extent possible, we get her out of the stressful situation/environment and somewhere quiet and dark. The only time we really intervene is if she's doing something to hurt herself. Her meltdowns are getting better with age.



ZombieBrideXD
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28 Jul 2015, 11:57 pm

depends on how smoothly everything is going.

drastic changes, frustration and inability to communicate set me off. so far, everythings been OK, a lot of changes but i've been able to manage.


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ZombieBrideXD
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28 Jul 2015, 11:58 pm

When i was younger; even just a couple of years ago i had a lot. Really violent ones but I'm learning to adjust


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nick007
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29 Jul 2015, 12:43 am

I had them alot when I lived with my parents. I yelled & cursed at them & after a few minutes I went to my room & calmed down unless me & my parents kept arguing fighting with each other. I very seldom have them now that I'm living with my girlfriend. How I would react to a person having a meltdown would depend on how the meltdown manifests & if I know they're having one.


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02 Aug 2015, 12:06 am

It depends. Usually when I encounter some social injustice around me that aggravates my blood boiling anger, like when I can't defend my side which is right, when I see a pet being abused, when I am criticized etc. But my meltdowns only happen in my room. Previously, in my elementary, I used to hurt myself with scratching my face and shout at the top of my lungs. Nowadays, I'm already in my post teens, I learned to cope up somehow, and compose my emotions. I shutdown more often than meltdown. Though, I can't promise that my meltdowns are completely vanished.



EzraS
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02 Aug 2015, 1:15 am

I get them fairly often in varying severity and duration. I wish they had more of a consistent pattern. I'm fortunate enough as a kid to always be in the company of a family member or teacher who knows how to deal with them the right way instead of making it worse. It would help you and your boyfriend for him to do some research into how to deal with autistic meltdowns.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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02 Aug 2015, 9:34 am

EzraS wrote:
I get them fairly often in varying severity and duration. I wish they had more of a consistent pattern. I'm fortunate enough as a kid to always be in the company of a family member or teacher who knows how to deal with them the right way instead of making it worse. It would help you and your boyfriend for him to do some research into how to deal with autistic meltdowns.


That is very fortunate! :)
I wish I could get my boyfriend to do research...but he's not interested in that sort of thing. I've found a few videos I could show him, but I haven't showed him any yet because I am afraid that he'll react in his usual way (an over dramatic and fed-up sigh, plus a "Can we not do this now?!").



xXConnorBiblexX
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02 Aug 2015, 1:40 pm

Every time I log on to Kiwi Farms. I GET REAL MAD!! !! ! Seriously, Null is such a huge fa***t.



Fnord
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02 Aug 2015, 2:40 pm

xXConnorBiblexX wrote:
Every time I log on to Kiwi Farms. I GET REAL MAD!! ! ! ! Seriously, Null is such a huge fa***t.
Then stop logging on to Kiwi Farms.



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03 Aug 2015, 12:05 am

It depends what's happening really.
More often during the school year, I am able to keep myself and stuff, but at home, I can't. My parents disregard what I do and feel and I lock myself in my room and cry and hit myself. At night, I emerge to use this website, social media, and talking to my friends, away from them.


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Taylor1002
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03 Aug 2015, 11:50 am

I don't actually remember having meltdowns. I asked family about that, awhile ago, and I don't think they really mentioned me ever having one of those. I've also been described as patient and easygoing ever since I was little.

I wouldn't know how to react if someone I cared about was having a meltdown. I'd be tempted to ask questions, to try to understand why they're upset, and I might offer tissues...would either of those things help them?

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Every time I log on to Kiwi Farms. I GET REAL MAD!! ! ! ! Seriously, Null is such a huge fa***t.

I'm sorry to hear that website makes you so upset. If I may ask, why do you keep logging on to Kiwi Farms?



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03 Aug 2015, 12:52 pm

Never. I used to have tantrums when I was very young, but my mother was very intolerant of them and pretty much beat them out of me. I don't recall my tantrums being much more than stamping and crying fits though. I must have had enough control of them to be able to stop them in response to the Pavlovian conditioning. But I sometimes wonder if I'd have grown up to have meltdowns if I'd been raised more liberally.

I also think I'm fairly adept at avoiding the kind of conditions that would produce a meltdown. I have a rather avoidant personality, somehow I usually manage to escape potential sources of extreme anxiety and frustration. For example, I don't attend social events that look like they'd be too intense or unpredictable for me, and when I was working, I had a few crafty ways of skiving off and sidestepping anything that looked too horrible. I'm very aware of the kind of things that could upset me, I give a high priority to looking after myself. And I habitually keep my behaviour calm and stable, at least on the outside.



AuroraBorealisGazer
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03 Aug 2015, 11:00 pm

Taylor1002 wrote:

I wouldn't know how to react if someone I cared about was having a meltdown. I'd be tempted to ask questions, to try to understand why they're upset, and I might offer tissues...would either of those things help them?


In a meltdown I usually can't think clearly enough, or form words, to answer questions...though in a shutdown I may be able to answer questions. I think it would depend on the question and the way it was said. If it was done calmly and wasn't confusing or something they should know the answer to, then it might pull me out of the pre-meltdown mode. But of course this could be different for everyone.