Happiness & Aspergers (Autism )

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Just wondering if Aspies can actually be happy or even experience happiness !?!?

I am constantly battling against , anxiety issues / depression / mood swings and I can't EVER recall feeling happy .

Thing is , I recently saw an interview on TV where a celeb said that he's simply wasn't a happy person and it kinda hit a nerve with me as I never feel happy and can't recall ever being 'happy' . I'm either busy or bored - so I'm either concentrating on something or asleep . I can't relax or simply chill out like most people seem to do.

I'm a very happy person. I often feel like I am the only one that is content with life. I just happily float along. I am a very realistic person (in the sense I'm not optimistic or pessimistic). I can see the positives and negatives in everything, but negatives aren't necessarily a bad thing. I realise that sounds weird but there is good in everything, regardless of the bad thing and how small the good thing is. I feel like if I was stood in front of the mirror of erised (Harry Potter), it would just be me. The Dumbledore quote 'Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.' is so true. You just have to find the happiness. I realise this sounds a tad ridiculous and it may be but it works for me.

I do have the odd moment that is very far away from happy, but the last one was a very long time ago (probably last summer) and they only ever last till I go to sleep.

I am a pretty happy person.
I find contentment in small things, like sitting in a warm spot reading science books.
I don't focus on negatives.
I take action to fix negatives or go after positives, so I feel more in control of my life.

I'd be happy if I had a reason to be happy

When I'm all wrapped up in me I'm restless irritable and discontent.

My friends would say I make a small wrapped package.
My wife would say if I'm wrapped up in me, that I'm over dresses.

When I can get outside of me and help others - at work and home I'm more content.yes recharging me is important.

Happiness is a by product not necessarily a goal.

Side note G 7. Your avatar is similar to our kitty.

I feel very happy when I spend time with my dog. ^^

I'm a very happy person when I'm working. I'm also very happy when I'm out with my friends, living life on my own terms. I'm happy when I'm working on my hobbies such as painting and doing drawings. I'm happy when I'm watching my favourite TV shows and listening to my favourite music. I'm a very happy person. If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person.

I'd say in my life right now I am not happy. That's because I have several situations that are really not ideal and a few personal heartbreaks have happened. So, really I'm a prime example of the very common thing where people decide they are not happy by analysing the situations in their life.

Whereas, really, happiness should come from your perception and how you act. That's why some of the poorest, unfortunate people in the world are seen with smiles on their faces. Their attitudes to everything are different. If you decide you're unhappy... you're going to be unhappy and you're forever going to wait around for something good to happen, when really we have more power over our happiness.

Bad things happen in life and we have every right to feel unhappy because of them, but it's what you choose to do about it that decides whether we find happiness again or not.

Heya,

I am working toward being happier, but specifically being autistically happy.

Here are three examples of things which make me happier and smile.

- following a routine

- reducing demands i find difficult which doesn't achieve much (eg, I have sippy cups at home as I find cups challenging and would rather live without the hassle)

- accepting support from happy people - I have a babysitter who visits most evenings. She is extremely happy and creative and always finds ways to make me smile. In some ways I'm like a big 5 year old, she's really extremely good at helping me to relax by encouraging me to do the things which make me smile.

I write a little website about this stuff at http://spacedoutandsmiling.com

Jamie + Liom

I feel pretty happy when I'm cuddling with my girlfriend. I wasn't that happy as a kid thou because my parents were very critical of my many Aspie quirks & other issues related to other disabilities. I struggled in school alot & I didn't feel like I could relate or was really accepted by anyone. My 1st girlfriend was the 1st person who I really related to because she was also dyslexic, had ADHD & alittle OCD. I screwed that relationship up because of my bad OCD & other anxiety issues. I fell into a psychotic depression after that that took 5 years to get over. I didn't fell really happy thou cuz I was still living with my parents due to disabilities & they were very critical of it. I met my 2nd girlfriend on this forum after a few years & I felt pretty happy in the begging but the relationship was kind of one-sided & I had problems because of my OCD & anxiety. I started medication for OCD & anxiety around the time that relationship fell apart. I didn't feel really happy again till I met my current girlfriend on here. We moved in together after 6 months & I'm alot happier than I was when I lived with my parents because she's alot more accepting of my issues & quirks & we relate & understand each other for the most part.

I'm not happy at school, and I don't know how to fix that. Sometimes I'm not happy at home either, because I keep thinking of what I want instead of what I have and I'm trying so hard not to think that way. Sometimes I wonder if I purposely stay in a bad mood because otherwise I wouldn't feel inclined to try to change anything.

I think it's definitely possible for people on the spectrum to be happy. I struggle with loads of things - not just autism - I have other medical problems too which cause a lot of physical pain. But I do find that these days my default state is happy and content, at least psychologically. Physically the pain breaks into this quite regularly but my mind set helps me deal with this, and the support I get from my church. There is always someone on the end of the phone if I'm not managing. I think it helps that I know quite clearly what things make me happy and I make time for a bit of that each day. I also pace myself with the things which hurt physically, doing part of a job, then resting and then doing some more. I have had to learn patience which wasn't natural to me.

I think it helps too to accept myself as I am which is something I've learned as I've reached into middle age. On top of all of that , I'm the kind of person now who is naturally content with simple ordinary things - a nice cup of tea, a good book, a warm comfy bed, my dog acting happy to see me - so that helps a lot too.

I don't know how old the OP is, but I must admit when I was younger I wasn't happy, at all, for years. Things were just so hard. There is so much to adjust to as a teenager and young adult but it does get better. I would say, don't give up hope when things are consistently dark - if it's really getting to you then get some help - talk to someone in your family or a friend or a colleague or teacher. Ask gently for what you need. And if the first person doesn't help, ask someone else.

I think I'm more happy than not.