Getting frustrated with losing things
I used to be so good at organizing and not losing things because we lived in our own apartment so I was in control of the whole environment and my husband didn't touch my stuff. I kept things in certain spots like bills went in one spot and other so they would never get lost or misplaced. But with kids now and parents, my stuff always gets touched, my mail gets tampered with so things are always getting misplaced and I am having a hard time with not losing stuff. It seems like no matter how hard I try, I keep on misplacing things. With kids now I get distracted so that might be part of the problem and I have too many things to process at once so it's like I am having ADHD. Plus my other things get lost and it's somehow my fault. I am so glad my son is going to public school next year because I just cannot to school uniforms. I find it too stressful to not lose them and to keep them clean and washed. I am too forgetful and my son also easily loses things too but he is getting better but tells me it's hard and me as the parent am also having a hard time with it too. But when I didn't have kids, when I lived on my own with my husband, it was a lot easier because no one touched my stuff, I was in control of my whole environment so I was more organized and I didn't have kids then so that was less stress there and less things going on. I do make a special spot for my things but someone touches it and I keep saying over and over "do not touch my stuff in this brown thing" and I am thinking about putting up a sign saying 'Do not touch anything in this.' Maybe I should just keep it in my room, ugh. I know my kids don't touch it because I have it up high and my husband never touches it so it has to be my parents. Then their excuse is "You never open your mail" and other. Ugh I can't even do my routines so now my life is in chaos and I am so disorganized. I know the simple solution is to check the mail to avoid losing my mail especially important mail but I also forget to check it. Very frustrating. I know I can make it a routine but it's not possible if my dad checks it so that throws me off.
Does anyone have this problem with losing things and being disorganized? I feel I can't even do this alone and I need support but I feel I am expected to do this all on my own because I am so close to normal so I shouldn't have this problem so I feel ashamed about it so I say nothing about it. I just keep thinking "try harder" and I still fail. I know the only solution is if everything went my way and if people did everything my way and listened to me (such as not touching my things and if my mom or dad would just help me out by putting our mail in the basement when they go check it) and then I would be a functional human being. But sadly that is not how the world works so that makes me the impaired one.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,104
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
btbnnyr
Veteran
Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
you should tell your parents not to touch your stuff in certain places like your room and other places around the house
you can explain as it is too disorganized for you when they move things
i told my mother not to touch stuff in my room when i lived there
she didnt then and i kept my room and bathroom clean, so it worked well
now that i dont live at home, she moves things in my room and closet a lot, but i dont care since i am not there most of the time
i said i like to keep certain things in certain places to keep order to explain why she shouldnt touch things in my room
i also joked that everything needs to be parallel, perpendicular, and stmmetrical relative to each other, and we make a big joke out of this, but it helps keep order where i wanted it
_________________
Drain and plane and grain and blain your brain, and then again,
Propane and butane out of the gas main, your blain shall sustain!
You're not alone. This happens to me too -all the time. If you're doing the best you can in the circumstances then there's no need to feel ashamed. All we can ever do is our best. On top of that I wonder if the help your folks are giving (with opening mail for example) might be unwittingly making things more difficult? I have to develop routines to keep things together and if my routines get upset then it all goes astray and I can't get organised. Perhap you could get a mail 'in tray' and put it in your room and then ask your folks to either put your mail in there or leave it for you to collect? Then, once you've got the mail somewhere where you can deal with it without it going astray you can make whatever routine works for you for dealing with it.
Hope this helps!
_________________
"That's no moon - it's a spacestation."
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ICD10)
1.) I have a phenomenal memory as I am discovering many people here do. Yet, I just like CR (CockneyRebel, I am lazy on the typing today...sorry) Will lose stuff like that all the time. Drives me bonkers.
2.) One of the main points of friction with my wife and I was her constantly moving things. And, then when I would ask, she would tell me no. It was a disaster as I knew she had been and I couldn't make sense of all the contradictions. About 8 weeks later I finally figured out it was not intentional. She wasn't paying attention as she bustled about. But it made me crazy and she would not respect that moving things like that was not good as it drove me nuts because I could not find things in their designated spot.
3.) We've been separated almost two months. I still misplace things. But, they don't go missing as much. And the general consistency of my space has helped a lot too.
4.) been married to NTs. I fcan tell you that losing things is universal. If it wasn't, they wouldn't make keychain beepers and other auditory 'finding' mechanisms in all sorts of things.
So, buck up....yer not alone, the rest of the world does this too. I just think we have a harder time of it because losing something, and that loss of continuity, just plays merry hob with our heads.
_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.
RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing. |
28 Nov 2024, 12:25 pm |
new things |
04 Nov 2024, 9:28 pm |
Washing Things |
07 Nov 2024, 10:25 pm |
Did You Discover New Things About Yourself... |
05 Dec 2024, 11:27 am |