Musings of Lost Opportunites

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This is not a woe is me thread. Those days were long done with in rehab. They taught me to be proactive. But, this does weigh on me. I would like some feed back. (I'm proofing this...crap...sorry for the info dump....)

Base 1: I tested pretty well in intelligence :
Base 2: I found out the testing was in line with previous testing nearly 45(!) years ago.
Base 3: I graduated a year early anyway

Positing that my education severely suffered by lack of proper knowledge even up to just 17 years ago.

I do feel a loss at the opportunities nobody knew what to do with me concerning education. We moved a lot. I lived for three years in the Bahamas. The school I went to was a private school. It was for the managerial staff only. So it was danged small. Basically a bit above little house on the prairie type schooling. Multiple grade levels in single classrooms, so we were always exposed to higher learning in one way or another. Barely gave an effort. Most of it made no sense to me.

But, my mind is a black hole. Always picking up things and then sorting through them and then bringing things out in bursts. We moved to Texas. I tested at the eighth grade level there. Did they consider moving me into special level classes? Nope....yay Texas educational system. Parents were at a loss as to what to do too. No blame there. They did the best they could. They are supportive. Just clueless......

Moved to Michigan after that. Was a real hell hole for me there. They did not like me at all there. Combined with the Aspie traits in full bloom, they actually called my parents in for a meeting because they thought I was trying to start trouble because I had southern manners. Managed to survive that for just over a year.....Had my first real crush though...Becky Cooper...She was a twin and I was the only one who could tell them apart. Don't even remember her sister's name. LOL

Moved to Virginia. They actually put me in higher level classes. While I was there I received two packages from my school in Michigan. Apparently I impressed at least two of my teachers. I had written a story in an English/social studies class. The teacher submitted it, without my knowledge, to a contest and I got 3rd place. LOL The other thing was a sculpture I did of a head in art class and it was also submitted without my knowledge and I won second place. LOL What was funny was I just turned 11 when I wrote the story. It was a Gothic style murder mystery with gristly deaths that was discovered by one of the guests at the hotel. The deaths were caused by a sonic cannon that resulted in distorted death masks on the victims. I now think I was a bit dark even then. I'm actually smiling of that memory. I should buy my own island and call it "The Island of Dr. Morose."

Anyway, from Virginia, we moved to Georgia. This was the last move before I graduated. Now, here is where it gets silly:

Because of the classes I had taken in Virginia, I had already cleared all the 'hard' subjects such as math and science and Most of English. This was in 10th grade. They only required me taking "Georgia history and Georgia's biology" classes for one year. So, I took biology AGAIN and repeated the same damned course of history AGAIN. Had that wiped out by the tenth grade.

I took classes out the yin yang and nobody counseled me the entire time I was there. And, I was a hellion. I was the kid other parents told their children not to hang around with.

By the time graduation rolled around, I had nearly double the credits required to graduate. I could have graduated two semesters before. That would have let me graduate at 16. And, if I had juggled things smartly, I could have finished by the end of 10th grade with all those cleared courses and the menial classes required (History and Biology).

Accounting for not being advanced when testing at eighth grade level when in 4th grade, as well as having double the credits needed to graduate and could have graduated the previous school year (16), well, it's not unfeasible that I should have graduated by at least 15, and if pushed, 14. That would have been PHD by 22 - 24.

THEN!! !

When I went into rehab in 99, I had the opportunity to be sent to any school, even a 4 year degree, and I chose (because I did not know what I was really dealing with) to stay in a high input, conflicting environment, filled with nothing but stimuli to the point of overload to just get information.

I am just ticked that all of those situations could have been better handled by knowing what I am. Better decisions. Period. But, overall, it's my education that's suffered. Yes, there are other things. But the education is not an inbred problem such as social issues and other things. The education could have been better handled.

Let's say 'formal' education. I am a lifelong student of everything that I am interested in. Dinos and cosmos, what's not to love? Especially since the Earth, the Cosmos and Dinos played galactic rochambeau 65 million years ago. I like the symmetry. Quantum and Relativistic Phenomenon.

Technical work and mathematics. Engineering of certain types. The choices are mind boggling. When I was in HS, the Navy wanted me to go immediately into the Nuclear Power Program. It had some cool perks too. But, no f*****g way were they putting me on a boat made to sink for 6 months. No siree Bob.

Do that to me and I would be in a stretcher faster than you can say "Bob's your Uncle..."

I'll get past this. The idea is to use it to make better decisions and build a better success tree. Get down to the roots of what went wrong, study the history and not be doomed to repeat my mistakes.

For the new guys I've seen pop up...the other late in life diagnoses or just in realization. I hope you see this and realize something that helps you.

The message is not how it is a shame and all that crap. The idea is to wallow a little bit, get dirty in the mudpit of pissedoffedness and then decide to just do better.

I now can put pieces together. Now lets see if I can just do it, by golly, by gum.....

I can identify with the situations of having good prospects derailed by some minor part of the process I'd rather not deal with. Even nowadays it still happens to a degree

What gets me is that I completely slipped through the cracks. Even for the time period, it was a bit unusual. But, you learn and move on. I'll climb out of the wallow pit soon. I just need to work through it.

And, wow....you made it through that info dump. It is impressive...LOL

Take your time. While not life changing exactly, it is life enlightening.

^^^Thanks Aren't you due to get your results here soon Brittniejoy1983? I feel like I'm part of a graduating class. Several of us are getting our results at the same time.

Yep....things could have definitely been better for you.

Many people "slipped through the cracks" during the 1970s. Owing to the sheer quantity of people all over the world, people will continue to "slip through the cracks" no matter how much due diligence is practiced upon students.

Indeed, I could have done better. Nobody really cared that much about me--but I should have cared more about myself.

But regrets of the past, to me, are useless, unless they can be used as either a learning experience or something to inspire you to greater heights.

If I were you, I would think of the future, a future where, perhaps, you could greatly benefit from the gifts which you possess, while seeking to de-emphasize your "deficits."

Always tell yourself not to use your new-found diagnosis as an excuse.

That's what I want to do. I'm just in the discover, b***h about it and almost to the 'time to move on' phase.

It's just so new to have a group of people who 'get it' and that's refreshing....

Awright, ya mook, start making sense like dat and I'm just gonna to have to leave....I tells ya...mutter, mutter.......

It's just a shock to actually realize it with something that backs up the assertion.

I'm fairly smart and still not completely over the hill. So, gonna find out how to end the life right....

Born and nobody knew what to do with me....no fault of their own.....

Went through life, they did the best I could. I was a kid, so, off the hook on that one....

Was an adult and took me 38 years to put the rest together. Now it's up to me.

We shall see.....