Recently Self-diagnosed... Thank GOD I am AS!!

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Like many of you, I spent most of my 35 years wondering just what is "wrong with me." Not that I personally felt anything was wrong, but everyone else did! I always KNEW I had some sort of behavioral/social developmental disorder, but I thought it was because something was WRONG with me.

My wife, doing research about our 3-1/2 yo daughter stumbled upon AS (with the help of her friend who has a son w/ AS) to pinpoint why our little girl was "quirky" like daddy. She is going to a pediatric neuologist at the end of the month for a diagnosis. Is that the right kind of doctor to see?

Anyway, my wife said to me one day about 6 months ago, "you probably have Asperger's Syndrome." I had never heard of it before, so I did some research.

Reading up on it, I am a textbook example. As I read the Wikipedia entry (which is pretty good BTW) it was as if I was reading an entry about myself. I couldn't believe it. A huge wave of relief swept over me like a cloud was lifted. I realized nothing is WRONG with me that needs to be "cured" but rather, "this is the way I AM for some reason or another." I also recognize many of my personal attributes I have always held dear (logical, rational thought process are but one example, being a perfectionist is yet another of many) are a direct result of my having AS.

So, even without officially being diagnosed, I KNOW I'm an Aspie, too. I do have a couple of questions though. Some things about me that people notice that I haven't read are symptoms of AS. I'd like to see if any of you also go through these.

First, my friends tell me I'm funny. This usually happens when I'm not trying to be! I'm totally serious about something and the whole room is cracking up. The opposite happens, too. If I try to be funny I get a room of black stares and silence. Now THAT is uncomfortable.

Another thing I've noticed is that I don't mind to chat with strangers, or acquantances I don't know very well. (Only one on one... uncomfortable in crowds or larger groups). But the closer I get to someone (family is the worst) I don't want much to do with them. It is a chore and a bore talking to anyone I know well. I dread holidays more than anything! Fortunately, I have a job that requires working weekends/holidays so I try to always work instead of getting together for a gathering.

Oh yeah, one more thing. I feel like I'm an outstanding teacher/explainer/story teller of things I know about. Because I can provide info in a logical format, and because I understand what it is like to not understand. Conversely, when trying to learn something from someone else, I always feel like they aren't doing a good job explaining it or telling the story becuse they aren't following a logical progression.

That's it for now I guess. I'm here. I think I'm home!

Welcome home

I can relate to the humor thing...I think it is because our minds process "excepted beliefs" from a different angle....kind of the way I see Jewish humor(Sienfield,Larry Davis,John Stewart)It is also "natural" for many of us to give a line with a straight face.
I personally excel at "self depriciation" and think it saved me from being bullied in school.....No one could insult me better then I could,took the fun out of it for bullies.

Telling a joke...forget the punchline,stumble over the words...even reading the funny words of others seems inpossible for me.I dont rvrn bother doing this anymore.


I dont really enjoy talking to anyone but if I have to...one on one has always been better(I had the theory in High School that the more people there are talking in a group the lower the over all IQ becomes.)The problem with talking with family ,for me,is I have nothing in common with them and it is hard to just get up and leave(which I can do when talking in superficial relations)

Anywho.....welcome.

Glad you found us! Welcome to the madhouse.

Welcome! Your house is over there, to the left. Uh, no, it is not the trashcan with the cockroaches...

Anyway, Welcome! (again) Your experience sounded like mine, except not as reveling. I felt like I was a bit out of place, but I didn't consider myself as weird as others I knew. Funny thing is, I grew up thinking I was BORING, so I tried to be different from everybody else. When I found out about AS, I found that I didn't really have to try to do it!

I have the opposite, I'm funny exactly when I mean to. I always make those around me laugh and I like doing that, gives me some cred so that I'm well liked around school.

MY GOD! I felt like making jokes about this! I'm not married, don't have a daughter, don't post under another name, so why are those last 5 paragraphs on someone ELSES post! I even used the "I'm home" statement!

JOIN THE CLUB!

I guess we're BOTH home!

Steve

Welcome home

Hi there. All those traits you described sound exactly like me. I'm pretty new here myself, realized I was AS just a few months ago, and for me too it felt like a weight had been lifted because I suddenly had an explanation for why I've always been different.

So congratulations(?). I think you'll like this website. For me it is one of the few times in my life I have felt like I "fit in".

Hi,

Welcome home!

I have the problem with people laughing when I don't intend them to as well.

Regarding the speaking to strangers thing, I do it occasionally. I couldn't really explain why until I read Kamran Nazeer's 'Send in the Idiots'. In it he describes starting conversations wtih strangers as an autistic person's version of extreme sports!

Although it took some thinking about (I can take things too literally sometimes) I realised that this actually made sense to me. When I do speak to strangers, it is normally when I'm in a reasonably good and confident mood and I want the 'challenge' of trying to play the spontaneous interaction game with someone.

Also, if it is a stranger, you may well not ever see them again and even if they do judge you in any way, it's not valid because they genuinely don't know you. This does not apply to family, and this, combined with the fact that speaking to people that you have some kind of a connection with is more of an 'intense' experience is why I find the latter harder.

Well, that's just my experience, I don't know if it applies to anyone else.

Yes, people think I am funny too when I'm not trying to be. Fortunately they are not laughing at me, because they tell me I am a raelly funny person and like me for it. I think its because we have a view of the world ungrounded in accepted conventions, so when we express something we do it in such a different angle that people think our opinion is funny becuase it is so different yet it is still true.

I dont find it easier to talk to strangers, but in the case of my parents, I have a serious difficulty talking to them. So I do understand what you mean.

People trying to explain something bug me a lot too. I feel like they are getting everything wrong. I am very good at going right to the fundamental concepts and describing it in a logical sequence unfettered by the cluttered details that others think so important, yet get in the way of clarity and simplicity. That has to do I think with a mathematical/logic based view of language.

I'd always been vaguely interested in autism (with no idea why), and then I started googling "eccentric personalities" and "social disorders" and reading up on AS and now I realize this is 100% who I am. Finding out I had Asperger's was one of the best things that ever happened to me...before I was severely depressed and contemplating suicide on and off because I thought I had a defective personality that would never allow me to be happy. Finding out that my sh***y personality was actually not entirely ME and that there were thousands out there going through the EXACT SAME THINGS (sometimes it is spooky to read the identical stories!) felt fantastic! People ask why bother going to the psychiatrist to get a diagnosis, do we really need a label, and while I haven't been to get diagnosed (I've been diagnosed with everything else...OCD, depression, social anxiety/avoidant personality), I don't need the dx at all because it's completely unneccessary...the label is what counts, and now that I've found that label, I feel a little bit like I've come home.

hi welcome!

have always known that the accent of my humor is different too...

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Yeah, I echo the sentiments. Spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me. It's a relief to think that I'm not broken; I've just got to find my own pathway, which is often different from the pathway everyone else is taking. Of course this is difficult, because my actions may seem absurd to other people, and they simply can't believe I'm incapable of following their sensible examples. Well, if that's the way it is, then I've just got to make the best of it. It's difficult, but not without advantages.

This is perhaps an example of one of your unintentionally hilarious lines.

Welcome! As you know you are really at the right place!
i believe your "aspieness" seems a lot like mine, what is not very common, many differences among us all.

As you are just arriving here, this is not, perhaps, the best moment for discussions, anyway, as I believe you are a theoreticist, let me put some very litlle points; you wrote:

i really agree with this, but I don't think I "have AS", I think I am aspie. Although these are only different way of expressing tha same, I don't think I have AS and, in consequence, i Act at some ways, but think that, as I act some ways I am aspie. i am probably only being a perfeccionist, as, fundamentally I agree with your words.



I feel EXACTLY the same, what leads me to a serious question; why will you take your girl to a pediatric neurologist or any other specialist? Well, contrary to many people of this site opinion I wouldn't do that, anyway, what I suggest you is that, before taking her to the specialist, ask him what will be done if she is diagnosed aspie, I wouldn't do it by a mere curiosity, although I believe that she is very probably aspie.

I don't believe in "symptoms of AS" as I don't consider AS an illness, but, again I am only pointing to words.

I think I can explain your "symptoms of AS": NT people don't use to pay atention at words, nor at rational arguments, but they like to stay mokeying other people, in such a way that, if one starts laughing, all of them will laugh together, so, meanwhile you are looking for the fun at the speech, they are only laughing... well, they also conclude from this kind of experience, that we don't have a humor sense. The oposite happens to, we say funny things but they didn't laugh.
Well, I can say to you: if you are among idiots you must start laughing of a joke, or they wont understand it is time to laugh, do the experiment. (and also read Hamlet teaching the actors)

I also understand:



In my own language I am as you describe.

And at last


I didn't really understand the paragraph in which you stated that, but ... I used to think like this, but now I feel I lost so many time... but I don't believe you will understand this by now.

Man you will learn a lot here... and, only curiosity... do you play chess?

OMG Yes... a lot. For some reason, I'm okay but not great (for the amount of playing I do I should be awesome.)


Anyway, you asked me about my daughter...why do we seek a diagnosis? Well she's been having trouble in Pre-School. She FREAKS OUT with any change in routine. She FREAKS OUT and CRIES when certain songs are sung. Consequently, several months ago we petitioned the local school district to pay for a special ed teacher to give her one on one attention.

We also have her in Occupational Therapy (her motor skills are delayed) and Speech Therapy (she seems to have difficulty speaking her mind).

Note: Even though she attends a private pre-school that we pay for, the local school district will provide help in the form of these therapys. For next year, they say it will be easier to get the help she requires if she has a diagnosis. So in a nutshell, that's your answer!

And Thanks Everyone for the dialogue here and for making me feel so welcome!

hi-
I have the same issues-I'm funny when I never wanna be

another issue with humor

People tell me I am hilarious.

But when I tell "jokes" which I think are hilarious, people look at me and groan.

Why?

I realized its because I like jokes that are plays on words. they don't. I still think the jokes are hilarious, its not like after telling it and hearing people groan I realize they are bad, "corny" jokes. I still think they are funny. yes, maybe a bit corny. But its my interest in language that makes me think them funny. I like plays on words. Its an example of seeing things from a different angle, but in this case it doesnt translate into funny for the NTs.

I guess NT's are more interested in the implied and general meaning of words. therefore, a technical difference in the word is not as big a deal.