Autism Tip Card

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Right now I am currently working on a Autism Tip Card for myself. This is what I have come up with so far.

Communicate about my actions before and after so they are understood.

Communicate properly.

When freezing up, excuse yourself to get rid of your anxiety.
When a problem or situation arises, communicate what the issue was. State what happened in detail and clarify it so the family understands it. Come up with a solution to that problem before going to them.

If anyone has anything that I can add to this or improve wording, it would be very helpful.

I've done a lot of these for myself over the years. They are great. Usually I look at them when I don't need it, then have it memorized for when I do. When I do need them, I usually can't consult them (in a situation!).

One thing I always put as the first item: breathe deeply, at least for a full minute. If you haven't done much of the deep breathing stuff, this generally gets at what works: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-9831/use-yogic-breathing-to-calm-down-in-6-seconds.html

It's not a miracle cure -- and I have more anxiety than most NTs anyway -- but it does *something.*

I would also recommend practicing and focusing on voice tone and body language, to the extent you can. For me, this is impossible in these kinds of situations, but maybe it's something you can do. I used to have steps broken out on these, too -- just the ones I wanted to focus on. This is how I learned how to do convincing eye contact, friendly smiles, etc. Nonverbal speech can go a long way to sending the message that you are focused on a good relationship with the other person.

Wow, now that I think about it, I used to have a pocket photo album I filled with typed pages of notes and images that were SOPs for dealing with different situations I would encounter throughout the day. It was very helpful.

sounds like a really great idea.

What does SOP mean?

That's a wonderful thing that you're doing for yourself.

SOP is Standard Operating Procedure

Thanks, spinelli.

By the way, the ability to quickly swap in new, updated advice to myself in the photo album was very helpful. I was always tinkering and improving. I was thinking about getting back to it...you'd reminded me how awesome having a friend in my pocket with good advice was.

I have a keyring with several cards like that on it, which I keep with me for reference when needed. I have one with several bullet points covering things I can do when I'm overwhelmed (deep breathing, listening to music, asking for a break, etc.), one with ways to deal with anger (mostly energy-diffusing techniques like running or bouncing on my trampoline, things that will physically divert a meltdown), one with a list of ways to say "no" to people (something I have trouble with; the card is also a good reminder that saying no is okay), one with a handful of basic small-talk conversation starters, and one that's just a warning/alert card for others, with a large stop sign on it, along with the phrase "Shutdown in progress, do not disturb" for times when I've shut down and can't deal with being disturbed.

One recommendation I would make is be as specific as possible. What does "conversing properly" look like? Perhaps, "say hello", "smile", "shake hands", "ask, 'how are you?'" etc. I find that having all the steps written down is very comforting, because even if I have them all memorised now, they may fly out of my brain when I'm under stress and actually need them. Just something to consider.