I am 23 years old and I have the face of a 17-19 year old.

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ApsieGuy
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16 Oct 2010, 10:35 am

I am wondering if this is somehow attributed to autism(yes autistic). Anyway, I find it VERY VERY VERY frustrating as no one will take me seriously.



IdahoRose
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16 Oct 2010, 10:42 am

I'm 19 and have the face of a 14-15 year old. People always ask me what grade I'm in and are genuinely shocked when I tell them how old I really am.

I think that looking youthful does have something to do with having a neurological condition. A few of my mom's coworkers have conditions such as autism and Down Syndrome, and she says that she can't tell how old they really are because they all look so youthful, yet some of them have gray hairs.



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16 Oct 2010, 11:06 am

23 yo's typically still look like teenagers, even NTs unless they've been exceptionally rough on themselves.

When I was 18 people thought I was 12. And when I was in college people would ask me what grade I was in. These days people think I'm 23-25 and women younger than I am stop calling me sweetheart and talking down to me once they realize I'm older than they are by like 7 years. :twisted:

There have been some threads here about looking much younger than you are and whether or not that's a spectrum thing. I'd recommend doing a search. Some of them were interesting.



Cricket2731
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16 Oct 2010, 11:14 am

I had a weird time with age confusion. When I was in my late teens, many thought I was in my mid 20's. When I was in my mid 30's, many thought I was in my mid 20's. After I got married, many mistook us for father & daughter; he started going gray in his late teens; mine wasn't noticeable until I was nearly 40!

I'm convinced that the way you look is partly genetic, partly environmental. Smoking & sunbathing will prematurely age you faster than anything!

I work with a lady who's in her mid-40's; she looks a well-preserved mid-60's because of these habits. I'm actually 10 years older than her, but look way younger--I use #45 sunscreen religiously, & don't smoke. It also helps that I got good youthful-looking genes; my Dad looked like a teen-ager 'till he was nearly 30!



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16 Oct 2010, 11:27 am

Not sure what differences would be between a 17-year-old's face and a 23-year-old's face. I think those two ages are too close to tell the difference, but then I've never been wonderful at guessing ages, except maybe eight years old and under... even then.... not always.

I'm undiagnosed with any ASDs but am coming to the realization that "it fits me", so that's where I'm coming from....

When I was much younger (early teens) I was sometimes taken for an older person. For example, I was drinking in bars at 15 & 16 when the legal age was 18.

Now I'm in my 50s and people are always, always being surprised at my age vs. looks. It's not as if I've taken any particular care of myself. Might be that my face takes less wear & tear, due to less facial movement / expressions over the years, & from staying out of the bright sun (took a few bad burns as a kid & finally got the connection). I've almost always worn sunglasses, so my eyes are probably less wrinkly - lower exposure to sun, and less need to squint.

From late 2008 to autumn 2009, I was asked to prove my age on four or five occasions, for the purpose of buying age-restricted items. The first time was in a bar at a concert, so it was a little dark. My teenage daughter, who was with me, was literally LOL and I mean Loud, at the woman checking IDs. Between her guffaws my dd spurted out, "Do you think she looks 20!?" (the legal drinking age is 21, so she would have had to think there was a chance I was 20 or less.... she wasn't "proofing" the obvious adults, like balding guys & such, so it wasn't that everyone needed proof.

Picking up prescriptions at my usual pharmacy, along with a few other random items (hair conditioner, q-tips, pack of disposable lighters) and the clerk asked me for ID. It is not a darkened bar, rather, it's a typical Walgreen-style brightly-lit kind of environment. I was confused & thought it was because there were some controlled substances among my prescriptions and she wanted to be sure I was the right person, so I asked the pharmacist (standing nearby) to tell the girl it was really me. Turns out she wanted to make sure I was old enough to buy the lighters (18 in my state).

At a Walmart in Colorado I had to break out the proof to get beer (21). A convenience store in Arizona for a six-pack of beer (21). And I think another time as well but can't recall the details.

Co-worker in his mid-30's - his mouth dropped open when I told him the years (1974-1975) that I'd been at a certain college. "How old are you?" he asked, and when I told him (49 or 50, whatever I was) he just said, "No you're not."

Other ex-co-workers - a group of women who had been in school together and were all about 10 years younger than I was.... somehow ages came up, and they were all just in disbelief when I told them mine. Like confused disbelief.


I also think a big part of it is that I don't act mature.... I don't try to act immature or to copy younger people, but I just haven't picked up the maturity "look" as others have. I'm really skinny (following some health issues) after being 30-70 lbs overweight most of my adult life. Grown-up clothes typically don't come in my size. I wear a lot of my daughter's hand-me-ups because I don't like to shop so much anymore (fluorescents bug me). She shops a lot, and doesn't mind sharing. I love her jeans and sundresses the best. So I don't dress the part of a grownup. I mean, I've often tried, for jobs and such... but I never really pull off the look.

Even yesterday, with six inches of gray roots above my summer hair (the bottom part of my hair is mostly blonde with a big streak of teal that's starting to fade) & wearing a dress six sizes too big (no clean laundry) and my son's (outgrown, but only a little ripped) padded flannel shirt/ hoodie, and sox that didn't match, one of which had a big hole in the heel, which you could see b/c I had clogs on.... I was faint from hunger to the point of pale & shaking. Had my hood up and was trying for invisibility. There was a former neighbor from 20 years ago ... he looked at me and said "You look fabulous." Usually I try to say "thank you" b/c that's what you're supposed to say to a compliment, but I was just like, "You have got to be kidding me." He said "Why is it that all the rest of us are aging and you still look like a kid?" It might have been an attempt to hit on me, but he should know by now that we won't be getting closer to each other this lifetime. Or maybe his eyesight's going.

Well, I guess what I'm getting at is ~ this might last a lot longer than you expect. :)



ApsieGuy
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16 Oct 2010, 11:36 am

Hermier wrote:
Not sure what differences would be between a 17-year-old's face and a 23-year-old's face. I think those two ages are too close to tell the difference, but then I've never been wonderful at guessing ages, except maybe eight years old and under... even then.... not always.

I'm undiagnosed with any ASDs but am coming to the realization that "it fits me", so that's where I'm coming from....

When I was much younger (early teens) I was sometimes taken for an older person. For example, I was drinking in bars at 15 & 16 when the legal age was 18.

Now I'm in my 50s and people are always, always being surprised at my age vs. looks. It's not as if I've taken any particular care of myself. Might be that my face takes less wear & tear, due to less facial movement / expressions over the years, & from staying out of the bright sun (took a few bad burns as a kid & finally got the connection). I've almost always worn sunglasses, so my eyes are probably less wrinkly - lower exposure to sun, and less need to squint.

From late 2008 to autumn 2009, I was asked to prove my age on four or five occasions, for the purpose of buying age-restricted items. The first time was in a bar at a concert, so it was a little dark. My teenage daughter, who was with me, was literally LOL and I mean Loud, at the woman checking IDs. Between her guffaws my dd spurted out, "Do you think she looks 20!?" (the legal drinking age is 21, so she would have had to think there was a chance I was 20 or less.... she wasn't "proofing" the obvious adults, like balding guys & such, so it wasn't that everyone needed proof.

Picking up prescriptions at my usual pharmacy, along with a few other random items (hair conditioner, q-tips, pack of disposable lighters) and the clerk asked me for ID. It is not a darkened bar, rather, it's a typical Walgreen-style brightly-lit kind of environment. I was confused & thought it was because there were some controlled substances among my prescriptions and she wanted to be sure I was the right person, so I asked the pharmacist (standing nearby) to tell the girl it was really me. Turns out she wanted to make sure I was old enough to buy the lighters (18 in my state).

At a Walmart in Colorado I had to break out the proof to get beer (21). A convenience store in Arizona for a six-pack of beer (21). And I think another time as well but can't recall the details.

Co-worker in his mid-30's - his mouth dropped open when I told him the years (1974-1975) that I'd been at a certain college. "How old are you?" he asked, and when I told him (49 or 50, whatever I was) he just said, "No you're not."

Other ex-co-workers - a group of women who had been in school together and were all about 10 years younger than I was.... somehow ages came up, and they were all just in disbelief when I told them mine. Like confused disbelief.


I also think a big part of it is that I don't act mature.... I don't try to act immature or to copy younger people, but I just haven't picked up the maturity "look" as others have. I'm really skinny (following some health issues) after being 30-70 lbs overweight most of my adult life. Grown-up clothes typically don't come in my size. I wear a lot of my daughter's hand-me-ups because I don't like to shop so much anymore (fluorescents bug me). She shops a lot, and doesn't mind sharing. I love her jeans and sundresses the best. So I don't dress the part of a grownup. I mean, I've often tried, for jobs and such... but I never really pull off the look.

Even yesterday, with six inches of gray roots above my summer hair (the bottom part of my hair is mostly blonde with a big streak of teal that's starting to fade) & wearing a dress six sizes too big (no clean laundry) and my son's (outgrown, but only a little ripped) padded flannel shirt/ hoodie, and sox that didn't match, one of which had a big hole in the heel, which you could see b/c I had clogs on.... I was faint from hunger to the point of pale & shaking. Had my hood up and was trying for invisibility. There was a former neighbor from 20 years ago ... he looked at me and said "You look fabulous." Usually I try to say "thank you" b/c that's what you're supposed to say to a compliment, but I was just like, "You have got to be kidding me." He said "Why is it that all the rest of us are aging and you still look like a kid?" It might have been an attempt to hit on me, but he should know by now that we won't be getting closer to each other this lifetime. Or maybe his eyesight's going.

Well, I guess what I'm getting at is ~ this might last a lot longer than you expect. :)



Well, I guess that kind of sucks.

On the upside, I'm living at home with family and no one cares due to me looking young



graywyvern
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16 Oct 2010, 11:47 am

i was still getting carded into my early 30's


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QuelOround
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16 Oct 2010, 11:51 am

People think my girlfriend is my mom. I'm 27 but every one thinks I'm a teen .



kx250rider
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16 Oct 2010, 11:52 am

I'd never thought about it much, but people tell me I look much younger in the face than I am. I still get carded if I buy beer, and within the past 6 months, I've been carded for buying spray paint (need to be 18). At my age (43), it's a great compliment. But I can see how frustrating it would be if someone is 19 or 25, or whatever, and businesspeople think you're underage and therefore won't listen to you.

Charles



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16 Oct 2010, 12:02 pm

Looking young will serve you well in the long run. I wish I had that problem. :D



jmnixon95
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16 Oct 2010, 12:32 pm

I am 14 years old, and in height, I am taller than average, but people call me "cute". I don't think my face is too babyish, but oh well.



OuterBoroughGirl
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16 Oct 2010, 12:34 pm

I'm 29 (will be turning thirty in a little over six months *shudder*) I still look like a young teenager. Part of this is because I just can't figure out how to present myself like a grown-up in terms of how I carry myself and interact with others. I also dress like a young teenager, wearing t-shirts and jeans every day. I don't wear any jewelry at all other than my watch, and never even got my ears pierced. I wear little or no make-up. I also don't do anything with my hair, as I don't have the inclination or the fine motor skills to put it up or style it in any way. I just let it hang long and loose, and usually at least a little disheveled, as I can't be bothered with using any product to keep my hair in place.
My features are also quite youthful naturally. I'm short, 5'1 or 61 inches. I'm not skinny, but I'm also not overweight. I'm slight of upper body, and not at all "matronly" in build. Additionally, I'm quite baby-faced, which seems to run in my family.
The weird thing is, I already have a few gray hairs. However, it's not really noticeable to the casual observer. The guy who does my hair noticed. Otherwise, people don't generally notice them unless I actually point them out.
Thus, gray hairs or not, I look like a young adolescent. It's actually pretty annoying. People tend to not take me seriously or respect me. I'm generally regarded as a lightweight, an inconsequential nonentity, everywhere I go. This does cause me problems, especially at work.
Considering my subpar social skills, I know that I can't entirely blame my pathologically youthful appearance for these issues. However, it is definitely a contributing factor.
At this rate, there's a decent chance I'll still be getting mistaken for a teenager well into my forties. :?


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Last edited by OuterBoroughGirl on 16 Oct 2010, 4:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

OddFiction
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16 Oct 2010, 12:45 pm

Yup. If I shave, I look exactly like I did 15 years ago.



PaleBlueDotty
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16 Oct 2010, 1:12 pm

I experience the same. I am often mistaken for being younger than I am, but it decreased in the last few years and the gap ( 10 years younger ) is getting smaller ( more like 4 years younger than my real age ).

I also can contribute a little anecdote, which displays the being taken for younger problem and my social cluelessness in equal measure:

When I was still a teenager and out with my mother one day, she came across an old aquaintance she hadn't seen for years.
The two got chatting and being a teenager I "zoomed" out. After they said good-bye my mother turned towards me and beamed:
" X thought you were my younger sister! " - I just stared at her and said: " Why? Do I look that old? " I didn't live this one down for years .... :lol:.



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16 Oct 2010, 1:20 pm

When I was young, people thought I was older, now people think my teenagers are my siblings and not my children. It annoys the hell out of my 13 year old. My 15 year old jokes and tells cashiers she is my mom and then tells me no, I cannot have a candy bar. Heh. I think it is in part due to a flat affect. If one is not always smiling or frowning, one is less likely to get deep lines? It seems a sensible idea. I also think it has to do with how I dress and act. I can be rather child like. You'd think my gray hair would clue these people in, but then I have been graying since at least 17, so who knows.


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16 Oct 2010, 1:32 pm

I still get carded sometimes, especially when I don't wear make up. There were other situations that got much more upsetting (like my husband being reported for living with a child :( ) - a lot of people pay attention to nothing else but appearances.

It can be annoying and I hate it when people get patronising based on what they think my age is, so I just had to learn to assert myself in other ways. There are some advantages, too - you can "exploit" being underestimated.


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