People speak to me like I'm a child. Do they think I'm dumb?

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People speak to me like I'm a child. Do you think it's because they assume that I'm dumb, or could it possibly be something else?

I don't know if people speak to me like I'm a child because they think I'm dumb or if it's because I'm "shy" due to my aspergers. I constantly have people stating the obvious to me and it pisses me off beyond belief. I've had people who probably have IQ scores that are much lower than there shoe size state the obvious to me. Does anybody know why this is? I'm definitely not a dumb person as I'd consider myself as being a genius when it comes to many subjects.



Thanks

How exactly are they treating you like you're dumb? Are they trying to be specific as possible as they talk to you or try and connect the dots for you, etc?

Last edited by Spokane_Girl on 13 May 2008, 8:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Perhaps, like many geniuses, you are simply oblivious in many ways that you don't realize. Like things simply don't occur to you. And since people around you can't guess which things would escape your attention, they feel inclined to point out everything- just in case- and so you get annoyed.

I usually get treated like i'm a bit younger before i tel my age.
People assume i'm 17-19 until i tel them i'm 23 years old.
At times the fact that we think a little slower can also have this effect.
Some people tend to assume to much based on too little information.
Than ofcourse there is the assemption that poor social skills automaticly means a low iq.

hghg

Last edited by Sorenna on 15 May 2008, 12:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

WOW! LOW Social Skills=LOW IQ?!?!?!? Then HIGH Social Skills=HIGH IQ???? Wow, I have met QUITE a few exceptions! A LOT of people thought to have high social skills are pretty stupid. And it is a fact that some very smart people DO have poor social skills.

pat666rick,

If you are the LEAST bit slow, ask the wrong question, or say one thing THOUGHT to be wrong, people's estimates of your IQ can drop SUBSTANTIALLY. Some will start talking down to you.

I have ACTUALLY said something THEY THOUGHT to be wrong about an interest of mine, and people start telling me lies, talk about tangential stuff, or say very basic things to me ABOUT MY INTERESTS!! !! And that is when I was RIGHT! I mean I get paid 6 figures to tell OTHERS about such things!

BTW It is a sad fact of life that NOBODY knows everything. I only know maybe a dozen interests really well. I may know a few dozen more areas in a somewhat average manner, and some things I am really bad with. Ask me about some computers, electronics, wood/metal working, medicine, etc... and I could maybe sound like a GENIUS! Ask me about social things, sports, fashion, star gossip, etc.... and I could sound like an IDIOT! I AM almost gratified by things like "legally blond" where Elle saved the day by proving a guy couldn't have been in love with the defendant, because he could identify a designer, and thus was homosexual and not interested in her! I can't identify ANY designers either(Let alone what they produce!). I only hear about them on the news and in films. Still, I can be VERY good with trivia.

My experience is anyone that makes social faux pas is viewed as stupid. Since Aspies tend to be bad socially then I think that is why we get treated like morons.

Then again it doesn't help that for some reason all of us tend to look younger than we are. I'm turning 39 soon and honestly people all the time think I am in my early 20's. Uh I just had a 62 yr old woman ask me to dinner last week so she could fix me up with her 21 yr old grandson. Yes! She was really pissed off when she found out how old I really was.

Oh also I kinda think everyone thinks they are smarter than everyone else they know even if the person has an IQ of like 110. I just get the impression most folks think this way. Also I have observed while living in a college town that the higher educated, such as ph.D.'s are some of the smartest on paper yet dumber than snot in the real world. I always think of the IT neighbor guy that couldn't figure how to put the toilet paper dispenser thing back together when the spring came out. So case in point you have the Aspie person who has all the Star Trek Enterprise schematics memorized by heart yet can't stutter out a complete sentence when put in front of a group of people. I think most AS people are like that, so don't feel alone.

The EXACT same thing happens to me and it drives me crazy! It seems the only people who treat me like an intelligent adult are people who have the same interests as me, perhaps because they have seen me demonstrate extensive knowledge of said interests.

In general, whenever I ask someone a question, they give me an answer that would fit with a REALLY stupid question, NOT the question I asked. This happens with alarming frequency, and I have no idea why. Maybe people are so accustomed to stupid questions that they don't know how to answer any other kind of question so they fall back on a stock answer?

One thing I have noticed is that a lot of the people who talk down to me also seem to think I'm a lot younger and more innocent than I really am. When they find out my real age, level of education, and amount of "life experience", they tend to begin to treat me like an adult.

So maybe people think you're younger or more innocent than you really are?

Everyone has always something to say to everybody, don't worry.

People think I look 10 years younger, and sound 15 years younger than THAT! BTW I can read REAL schematics, know about that spring, and stutter out a complete sentence!

BTW I kind of like the episode of eureka where jack starts off by saying his IQ was (111?), in the END, ZOE gets her IQ score and sneaks a peek, while her father tries to console her saying not everyone can be a genius. It says 157(?), but she tells him, with a smile, that it is 112(?). He laughs and says "HEY, you did your father one better!"!

Anyway, everyone in the town probably didn't think she was that bright, and she was willing to play down her score so her father wouldn't feel like the dumbest around.

YEAH! You are sometimes treated EXACTLY as many sometimes treat me!! !! ! WOW!

I have the same problem, and I think it is because people think I'm younger/more innocent than I am. I look younger than my age, and I don't same the same sneering cynicism that many people my age have.

Okay now I unerstand what Patrick is asking. I had to ask one of my online friends what he meant by his post and how people were trating him like a child so he gave me example.

Yes some people treat me this way. When I get that, I have to rephrase my question.


Like lets say I see my brother and his friends playing a video game. I ask him and his friends what are they playing and they say "A game" and I say "I know that but what game," then they tell me the title.

I don't think people are doing this because they think we're dumb, they don't know we want an specific answer so maybe they need a better question asked to them like "What movie are you watching?" so you won't get "A movie" if you see they are watching a movie.

Being treated like an idiot by less intelligent people is part of being an aspie. That's just the hand some of us were dealt.

I agree with Spokane on this one. The next time don't ask "what are you playing?" Instead, ask "what game are you playing?"

I get that a lot. For example I wanted a ticket for the school show and the person selling them at lunchtime was a complete twat to me. I had made a reservation previously and the other sellers wrote my name down of the piece of paper, he asked me my name and kept inserting my name into every sentence he spoke and spoke horribly loudly with the stupid lisp feminine men speak with. Since I'm hypersensitive to sound, it really pissed me off. There was another person to witness his belittlement of me of course and his friend started sniggering under his breath. Turns out the guy selling me the ticket is one of the lead parts in the show, there's no surprise there; and that he's a hyper-feminine bitchy kid who must be at the centre of attention.

A good way to deal with this is act really placid but really hostile with one word answers so you make them look stupid.

I have always had that problem. I'm 23 and people keep asking me what grade I'm in. They are shocked when I tell them I'm in college at a 4 year university. I talk funny and I'm short. Maybe that's it. Who knows?