The Humor Paradox

Post Reply New Topic

I went to see a speaker talk about Autism today, and my mom picked up a book written by a 4th grade boy, Asperger’s Syndrome 4 Dummies. Unsurprisingly I identify with a ton of stuff in there (and some stuff was like my father and brother).

One thing that interested me was the two pages that dealt with humor. One, early in the book, was the bit about sometimes taking a joke literally. When I started researching AS, I didn’t think I did that. Not until I realized that actually at work quite a number of people will say something to me that’s supposed to be kidding me, but I don’t realize it, and start responding as though they were serious. A number of them seem to occasionally do that intentionally because they know how I'll react. (It’s not mean at all, they’ve being very good natured and I don’t mind.)

So on the one hand we have that, but on the other hand, I come to the page where he’s saying he has a really good sense of humor. So do I.

So…doesn’t that seem really paradoxical? I asked my mom about it, and she immediately said it’s because in the latter case, you’re processing it intellectually, and in the former case, you have to rely on social and non-verbal cues to get that they’re joking. Well, she said it better than that, but something like that.

And…I think that makes sense!

What do you guys think about this? Do you suffer from “The Humor Paradox” too?

I don't think so, not exactly that specific paradox, anyway. I'm more likely to take something as a joke that could have been intended as hostile, but also be nervous about it. Maybe at some point I was that way, when I was a kid or something, but I can't really remember.

yes! I know what you mean. Coincedentally I just posted on another discussion the following :

People tell me I am hilarious.

But when I tell "jokes" which I think are hilarious, people look at me and groan.

Why?

I realized its because I like jokes that are plays on words. they don't. I still think the jokes are hilarious, its not like after telling it and hearing people groan I realize they are bad, "corny" jokes. I still think they are funny. yes, maybe a bit corny. But its my interest in language that makes me think them funny. I like plays on words. Its an example of seeing things from a different angle, but in this case it doesnt translate into funny for the NTs.

I guess NT's are more interested in the implied and general meaning of words. therefore, a technical difference in the word is not as big a deal.

Yes people tell me I take things too literally. I don't get alot of their kidding around. Sometimes it takes me a couple extra seconds to figure out what they are talking about, to get the point of the joke, but even then I don't think it's funny.

But I still think I have a good sense of humor.

By the way, I don't have the problem at all when watching television or movies. In those cases I get all the jokes right on cue, even some subtle stuff that most people would miss.

It seems to have something to do with missing the social and interpersonal cues, and not anything to do with the actual content of the humor.

Sometimes we fail to recognizw spoken irony, but is this the same as having no sense of humor? I don't think so.

Oddly enough, people tend to take my ironic statements literally, which always confuses me. Especially if I've said something so crazy that only an idiot could have meant it seriously.

When I tell a joke I think is hilarious, especially if it depends on a witty or unusual turn of phrase, people dont get it.

But when I dumb it down a little people really crack up

Me, too! Perhaps it's because I tend to state things in a matter-of-fact way, very dry delivery...Or, perhaps, it's because many people simply *are* idiots.

I can't tell a joke to save my life. I never remember the "story" leading up to the punchline, and often bumble the joke with my long pauses. When someone else tells a joke, I'm usually the last to get it. When I realize the joke has concluded (by way of the teller's anticipatory expression followed by silence) I pretend to laugh while my brain processes it. When I finally do get the joke, I'm thinking to myself "eh, so?"

I hate it when people say a joke, which I take literally, then they make me jump/get confused by laughing.

I believe I do have a sense of humor, but it isn't merely a regurgitation of scripted jokes out of a book. I think my sense of humor is based more on my observations of life around me and the antics of my cats, for example.

I don't believe there is really such a thing as "kidding." Very often, kidding is a way to hint at a bigger truth. Instead of saying something flat out, many people resort to kidding. In a way, kidding becomes almost like lying. People aren't telling the whole truth. If someone says, "I'm just kidding" too often, I tend not to believe anything they're saying, much the same as someone who is perpetually lying.

I know that I have a very dry "brittish" humor that is very common in Canada, only sometimes I take it too far. I watched a lot of brittish comedy shows at one time, and for the first few months, I did not "get it" needing everything to be explained. But, it is a humor that follows "rules" so once you learn those "rules" you can understand it. Monty Python, Are you Being Served are examples. In Canada we have "this hour has 22 minutes". I think I remember a show out of the US, "Almost Live" that was rather hystarical.

A lot of people find my humor "off colour". And while I personally can be very sarcastic myself, I frequently miss read other people, are they being funny? Literal? Mean? I just don't "get it".

"Almost Live" was (IMO) one of the most brilliant products of American television. Produced by a small group in Seattle, it's what "Saturday Night Live" used to be, before SNL became little more than a "stepping stone" for those comedians who wanted to be Movie Stars. It had deep appeal to those of us on the spectrum, because a lot of the humor in it was either the classic "dry" humor or wordplay.

(One of my very favorite, albeit short, bits involved a stage magician, doing a standard card trick with a "volunteer from the audience". He has her look at a card, and put it back in the deck, then he plays with the deck for a while. Finally, he pulls one out: "Is this your card, madam?" She stares at it, shock and horror growing on her face, then points straight at the magician and starts screaming, "WITCH!! !")

Sadly, since it almost never depended on jokes whose punchline involved kicking someone in the nuts, it had little appeal to the Mass Audience, and simply slipped away one day.

i tell jokes, are they funny? well i think they are

Someone was joking about black people being the missing link. I alone took it seriously and it caused some issues.

well, thats something people shouldn't make jokes about anyway

I have a very prevalent and surreal sense of humor...but I don't tell jokes..everything is a joke..

When i tell jokes around ppl that don't know me they think i'm being serious.

me too..

..and then I feel bad.

I was on stage one time and I thought everyone in the audience knew us so I said we were from New York..
So a guy in the audience..who very well might have been an Aspie and who didn't know us took me completely literally and I had to tell him over and over again that we were really from Houston.

Also it didn't hurt that I was wearing a shirt for this band called "The Mathematicians"...who ARE from New York..and he was talking about how he works with real Mathematicians, and wanted to know if the guys in the band really were Mathematicians....and if we played with them alot in New York....needless to say a tower of babbel was formed within the conversation..and um...well you get the idea.
I did strongly reccommend the band the Mathematicians to him..as they really do write songs about mathematics...and dress like nerds...but it all part of an elaborate stage persona....

anyway..straying wildly off the point...it is an example of my sense of humor being interpreted literally and ....blah blah blah...

I sometimes can and sometimes can't tell when someone is joking..