My brain won't let me win in social situations.

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When I'm at school, I'm ignored. People don't invite me anywhere. They don't seem to like me. Occasionally, they pay attention to me positively... And I hate it.

I don't know why. About four of my dad's college students held a dinner for him. They ordered pizza and we all sat out on a pavilion. They were all nice guys... Really nice. They paid attention to me speaking, made friendly comments and teasings, and addressed me. We played a game after dinner. They were all great, genuine people. And my dad liked them a lot, too.

But I don't feel good about it. I keep thinking they didn't mean their friendliness, or that I did something wrong. My dad told me I was glaring at them at first, but I didn't notice. I thought they must all think I suck, even though I have no evidence.

I feel lonely when people don't give me positive attention, and uncomfortable when they do.

Been there. When they didn't pay attention I felt like an outsider, outcast and ostracized.

If only they would notice me, invite me to join.

When they did pay attention I didn't know how to respond, what was expected of me; it was all so confusing, I was an outsider trying to fit in.

Leave me alone, stop looking at me. Please just pretend I am invisible and I will just watch from over here.

Ye.

I felt guilty, because I did think they were very nice and were nice to do this for my dad. I liked them, I just didn't know how to respond to the attention.

I want to be comfortable with it, I feel like I just can't win.

I hope you get more positive experiences, so you'll get used to them.

It'll be better once you get out of high school.