I visited a special school and it was good.

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Hey everyone,

I'm not entirely sure why I am positing this. I've not been on the forum long and there's not really a question here. Just I am excited and wanted to say what happened

I'm autistic and I spent a very long time masking the autism as best I could. I did okayish but I got really unwell and had burn out. I had an operation which fixed the illness, but when I woke up from the anaesthetic I'd lost my ability to speak and lots of other skills. It's been 8 months and I still don't have much speech.

I thought after the operation I would go back to my old life. But that didn't happen. I've had to adapt and start learning how to manage some of the autism things without masking then (as I can't mask anymore).

I couldn't return to living with a friend after my operation. I needed to much help and he was busy.

So I stayed with different friends and then got a flat near to their house. I am now learning to live independently.

As part of that we needed someone to look after me in the evening. We found an awesome autism babysitter who also works with adults. She's amazing. She's helped me lots by helping me get into routines etc.

I am very shy around her at home. She's been helping me 8 months and only last week was I able to get in her car without a panic attack. When she visits I hide in my bedroom.

Anyway, her main job is at a special school. Yesterday she was going to the school at the weekend to do some extra work (mowing grass and rearranging the softplay room) and she offered to take me for a play day.

It was awesome. I'd always been taught to hide autism thing. That flapping etc is bad. That my job was to be as normal looking as possible and autism was bad.

But that's not what the babysitter, my employer or my friends think. They are happy for me to look autie etc. It's taking me time I accept this. I still often feel bad or frustrated at being autistic.

Yesterday I got to do anything I wanted. I spent time in the dark room with all the lights. I rode around the playground on the trikes and played on the swings and trampoline. I could flap as much as I liked and I bounced around the entire day.

The babysitter said she'd never seen me smile so much and she's right. It's been a long time since I've felt so free to be myself and not to worry what that looks like. Autie or not. She doesn't mind.

So that's my story I guess. At least one special school is awesome and positive.

Im still smiling and she's said I can visit again in the future. Maybe even spend an evening there each week in the time she looks after me. Wow.

To me, this is acceptance. We doing what is fun and what works. I feel a little mixed up (it feels like a strange dream) but it's amazing.

If you have any questions feel free to ask and I will do best to answer. I may post some photos later too.

Thanks for reading

I'm glad you had fun. I used to volunteer in an autism base and I was particularly fond of 'modelling'* sensory time, haha.

*Playing with the sensory toys, sometimes with the children, sometimes without.

I had a good connection with the kids. I think things like that helped.

I went to a "Special School Before." I didn't Like it fore, They treated the Kids who we're nonverbal as stupid and me and my brother since we could speak, and therefore share our intelligence as stupid. Also the School was called Applied Behavioral Services so they probably done A.B.A. there so. Yeah, so I didn't like it. Also, they we're obviously in support of A$ fore, they just seemed like a school that was funded by autism speaks. All of the people we're new. They didn't understand what autism really was. Also they we're suprised that we we're smart, when for the most part. Autistic people tend to be smarter than Allistic people. It wasn't a good Experience in general. The person who I worked with I liked. Though she just seemed a little, what should I say ignorant. The people just acted like other Autistic people we're babies even the older kids. It was quite horifiying. They also seemed like everyone thought that was how they would be treated. It was pretty sad. Fore, this is why I don't like Autism Speaks. They think the Low Functioning ones are stupid and the High functioning ones are like Complete Geniuses. When they are all the same. For they all have the same mindset and experiences. Also High functioning and low functioning is insulting. My Experience at 'Special' schools is that they are generally frighting.

I didn't see any teaching, but the lady I know there understands properly and is brilliant. She says the school gets it right.

They use the 5P approach. in the UK we don't have to deal with organisations like autism speaks. The NAS is far from perfect, but they have the right agenda at least. Acceptance and better quality of life etc.

Thanks for sharing your perspective!

I didn't have a good time at school and when first invited I wasn't keen on the idea. I was convinced I'd get in trouble for something. In the end it wasn't an issue, we had clear rules and the things which use to get me in trouble (flapping for example) wasn't an issue. All in a really awesome day. Not something ever thought I would write.

Great to hear that you are finding out what works for you--one of the hard things about autism is that while we are similar in many ways, we are also quite different, so what works for some of us fails miserably for others. Getting rid of the stress so you can find the "real you" is a very good start!

That sounds cool.

My primary school had a special needs bit attached to it and it had a massive ball pit in a room and the things like giant lava lamps but with glitter and lights, which was awesome. If I had the space at my house I'd have a whole ball pit room.

Pieplup, that is a great plushie. I love it. Thank you for posting a pic.

SpacedoutandSmiling, you can't even imagine how I felt when I read your original post. It brought tears to my eyes in a good way and I was smiling from ear to ear. I wish I could have gone with you. I would have loved it. I am so glad that you can begin to live without masking. Those burnouts are not a joke. I did not know if I was going to physically survive one of the last ones I had recently. Your sitter sounds like a really nice person too. You are lucky to have her.

What is the 5P approach? I have never heard of that.

I was also curious about what your illness was that made you have to have an operation which affected your speech so severely. I understand if you don't want to share it but if you are able to and don't mind, I am very curious.

But congratulations on finding such a wonderful school that allows you to enjoy being who you are. That is priceless.

Your welcome I can take a Picture of mine if you want.
It's not the best but I tried to filter it so you could see the colors better

I am very happy for you, SpacedOutAndSmiling. I need a day like that. Hopefully, you will have many, many more.

_________________
31st of July, 2013
Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Auditory-Verbal Processing Speed Disorder, and Visual-Motor Processing Speed Disorder.

Weak Emerging Social Communicator (The Social Thinking-­Social Communication Profile by Michelle Garcia Winner, Pamela Crooke and Stephanie Madrigal)

"I am silently correcting your grammar."

That sounds so awesome, Spaced, I'm jealous! I'd love to go and play at that school with you and Skibum I think we, Lion, and my baby dragon Whisper would all have a great time.

I'm glad that things are working out for you.

I've done this time to time. Being invited by my own former teacher-therapist to visit one (theirs) during High school and College years. And I get to play, party, and go all out with those kids during those years.

.. I still never met an aspie of my age and functioning level except for myself in real life tho.



Enjoy.

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Glad you had such a positive experience.
I have always been in private special needs school for autism.
The staff are all trained on taking care of and educating kids with autism and other special needs.
They never try to discourage or suppress us.
But at the same time they also try to maintain order, discipline and structure, just like any other school.