How do people survive without special interests?

Page 1 of 2 [ 18 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Holden14
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 22 Feb 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 68
Location: Wales

02 May 2016, 7:55 am

I don't actually have a special interest all the time, and when I do they vary in intensity. But right now I have quite a strong one and it's making me wonder how people actually keep going without one? I don't know exactly what I mean by this but hopefully some of you will. I guess, while I have a special interest the aim of my life is to find out more about it (if it's an idea, or a famous person) or to talk to them/make friends with them (if it's someone I know). I also filter every experience I have through the special interest in some way. The idea of not having one makes life seem very pointless. Does anyone have any insight into how NTs do it?


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 121 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 83 of 200


spinelli
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 25 Apr 2016
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 272
Location: United States

02 May 2016, 8:15 am

I'm in between interests right now . My last one didn't turn out so well. Life is dull without one.



SocOfAutism
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Mar 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,927

02 May 2016, 8:18 am

I have observed that aspies get depressed when in between special interests. The only solution to this is to find a new special interest.

As to how we NTs do it, we are mildly interested in a lot of different things. If you can imagine not being super interested in food, but kind of liking it. You'd be able to eat many things, but never have the intense enjoyment that some people feel when they eat. You wouldn't know what you were missing.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

02 May 2016, 8:20 am

They manage, somehow.

We are spoiled creatures. We have so much more which could potentially hold our interest than previously--especially since the 1990s, with the advent of the Internet.

Before the advent of the Internet, we just didn't have the whole world (i.e., people from other countries, news from other countries, etc.) at our immediate disposal.

I don't feel too good right now--but I have enough perspective to realize that I could make my life less boring immediate--by typing in a few words on Google.

Before the 1990s, this ability was nonexistent.



Mustangboss429
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 May 2016
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 44
Location: England

02 May 2016, 8:27 am

I'm not sure how they do it either. My special interest is cars and right now one of the things that is keeping me going is the knowledge that in a few months time I'll finally be able to buy my own car. That is a day I have been dreaming of since I was about 4, words can't really express how excited I am about it.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 147 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 68 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


zkydz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2015
Age: 63
Posts: 3,215
Location: USA

02 May 2016, 8:40 am

SocOfAutism wrote:
I have observed that aspies get depressed when in between special interests. The only solution to this is to find a new special interest.
I know that I have been in a bit of malaise as I am in between special interests at this time. I have had a lot going on, but, even before things got crazy, right after finishing the Batmobile, it's been vacillation time. It's like I've been collecting information on all of them (Physics, Paleontology (Dinos and Precambrian explosion), maths, programming, Model techniques, etc), but not landing on one. And, it has affected me greatly. But, when I get into gear here, It will all be information I can pull out.


kraftiekortie wrote:
They manage, somehow.

We are spoiled creatures. We have so much more which could potentially hold our interest than previously--especially since the 1990s, with the advent of the Internet.

Before the advent of the Internet, we just didn't have the whole world (i.e., people from other countries, news from other countries, etc.) at our immediate disposal.

I don't feel too good right now--but I have enough perspective to realize that I could make my life less boring immediate--by typing in a few words on Google.

Before the 1990s, this ability was nonexistent.
1.) I'm sorry to hear you're not doing well at this time. I do hope you feel better.

2.) And, you are absolutely correct. I used to love being in the library. I hated like hell getting there though LOL So, that did make things difficult. But, now, all this information, ability to research and just learn is amazing.

And, it did finally let me start an important process that is beginning to unfold. It gave me clues that I never had access to before.


As for how NTs survive without one, I would turn that on it's head, and ask how we can survive when the special interest can block out everything.....forget to eat, in severe cases, forget to relieve oneself, forget to bathe, and all sorts of other things.

It's hard to understand an alien point of view. Especially when you don't even know your point of view is actually unique and not shared. That gets drummed into us growing up.

"You're not special. You're just like everybody else. You just don't wanna get with the program." Yep, heard all of that for all my life, and usually at the end of a strap of leather or wood. So, when you find out that you really are different (Not special), well, it has shown me just how out of step I am in the world.

And, I am not worried how anybody else does anything. I just want to learn how to do any of it at all. LOL

3.) But..Kraftie...hope you feel better dood :batman:


_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

02 May 2016, 8:48 am

Thanks very much for your concern. It means a lot.

It's nothing major--It's the usual crap that happens in life.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

02 May 2016, 8:49 am

I seemed to have obsessions to help deal with loneliness. Now I have a partner, and more of a social life too, the obsession I last had just faded, and now it's become just a casual interest.


_________________
Female


zkydz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2015
Age: 63
Posts: 3,215
Location: USA

02 May 2016, 8:55 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Thanks very much for your concern. It means a lot.

It's nothing major--It's the usual crap that happens in life.

Yes, life rears its ugly head many times. I like when I see people say "I will always keep my promise!" LOL

Life will prevent that many, many times.

Just know we're here for you buddy :)


_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.

RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8


JakeASD
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jul 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,297
Location: Kent, UK

02 May 2016, 8:55 am

They have each other.

Quite frequently I struggle with extreme feelings of boredom and apathy when my world hasn't been consumed by an interest in something. Right now I can't say I am interested in much at all. :(


_________________
"Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. " - Special Agent Dale Cooper, Twin Peaks


tetris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 730
Location: Scotland

02 May 2016, 9:54 am

I personally prefer much more passive ones, and when I don't have a current one it doesn't bother me too much. The very intense ones frustrate me intensely. My current one is perfect, it's more of a collecting one and I prefer those as they are never as intense. My long term (10 years or so) is perfect as I've gone through the intense bit and it's hung around and is quite nice and relaxed now, its Friends (the telly show) and I'm more than happy to watch them over and over now just on the telly if there is nothing else on. I assume NTs have actual friends they spend time with instead.



mikeman7918
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2016
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,929
Location: Utah, USA

02 May 2016, 11:36 am

I literally just started a thread about my experience with this last night.

I definitely get depressed when I have nothing to obsess over, and it's super boring. I suppose that this obsessiveness replaces what I'm missing out on by not socializing much and generally not enjoying it when I do.

I was on ADHD medication for a while to help with my inattention problems and although it did help it made me less obsessive. I just couldn't take it any more and I had to stop using it because I was getting depressed.


_________________
Also known as MarsMatter.

Diagnosed with Asperger's, ADD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder in 2004.
In denial that it was a problem until early 2016.

Deviant Art


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,882
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

02 May 2016, 12:15 pm

I don't survive without a special interest. I can't. I can be very miserable between special interests or without one.


_________________
The Family Enigma


JonathanCampbell99
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2015
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 84
Location: Northern Ireland

02 May 2016, 8:00 pm

One of my special interests is in Languages, Geography (i.e. Learning about different countries, I know all capitals of Europe and I can name them on a quiz and listening to Tiziano Ferro (Italian songwriter and singer) has been a special interest of mine for 1 year and 6 months, I love him so much and I have bought all his music and some of his merchandise (Phone case and 2016 calendar)

Image


_________________
Diagnosed with Autism - 18/01/2023


Yigeren
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,606
Location: United States

02 May 2016, 8:10 pm

I don't think I'm ever without an obsession for very long. One thing ends and another begins. I will say that I get bored and sort of down in between. I feel as though there is nothing I want to do, so I might spend a lot of time sleeping.

But I often have multiple obsessions at once; usually one is the most intense. They usually burn themselves out after awhile.

Obsessions can make me miserable when I can't make myself do anything else. There seems to be a perfect amount of time to spend on something, and beyond that I feel physically sick if I can't stop.

I'm not sure what life would be like without them. They've always existed for me.



Unfortunate_Aspie_
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Sep 2015
Age: 32
Posts: 579
Location: On the Edge of...

02 May 2016, 10:17 pm

I don't know what I would do without my special interests- they literally give me life.
Like I got really really angry and depressed when one of my Special interests got blocked out at work- they didn't want me to ever mention languages other than English at work, and I got so depressed I just stopped going to work, and then I snapped out of it by switching (rather painfully) over to another special interest.
A more science-y one. I kind of forgot the languages bit as it is harder to practice now, but when I get into it again I feel so happy ~ especially if I have opportunities to speak any of the ones I like. < 3
But for now I will focus on these others. They are just as fun!
I've told my NT friends each special interest (for me) is like falling in love and having a source of comfort and relief always available- well as long as I have time and am able to engage with that special interest.
Although, I realize not all Aspies are gonna feel as intensely (probably) about their SI as I do. I love mine. However, they can be kind of a crutch I guess, and I do get guilty because my family HATES when I talk about anything SI related.
So, it's like SIs or family, and I almost always pick the former lol. SIs don't annoy the s**t out of me- quite the contrary :wink: sooooo not like it's a hard choice 8)
I have absolutely NO IDEA what it would feel like not to feel this way about my SIs.
I think or guess this is why NTs are so social- they wouldn't have anything else to fill the gaps??
I just think about how horrifically boring life would be! I really do think that is why they do that so much- the socializing I mean.