Difficult to even connect online?

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It is very difficult for me to connect with others emotionally.
Fear is my biggest problem. Also it just takes so much energy to interact with others that I am exhausted just thinking about it. My one big emotionally social(ish) interaction a week is with my therapist and even that just makes me tired. I do it because without that I would not make it at all. I go to work but it is always about work. I just do not have the extra energy to ask/answer/care about topics that are not on task. Most of the time I even lack energy for task related topics and will fight by myself to figure things out long before I finally ask for help. I have always been this way. I have a partner who I have been with 16 yrs now, but I come home and do not want to interact there either. I have family I talk to with the mandatory call home each night. Thankfully they live in another state so I do not have to spend time with them much. And I have a "best friend" in town that I do meet with a weekend or so a month. She will email me but I rarely answer back. And when we meet up I just want it to be done so I can go home.

I feel like I am missing out on life, but when I try to push myself to do what I think being social is about it just is too much work and too hard. It makes me want to cry because it is so hard.

I want to connect online if that works but even that is hard to do! I will read a few select forums like this one, but I just don't have any energy to answer or share. That makes me feel very sad. Even posting this is taking all the effort I have.

Is anyone else in this boat?

I've felt that way . Very draining to have to deal with the unpredictability of others.

I think online is a lot harder because so much information is missing, not seeing someone face to face, or not having enough history with people, it ends up taking a lot more explaining and exposition than I have the energy for. Not to mention frustration with the computer/wifi/dsl not always working properly. Talking to people just tends to be exhausting though.

Absolutely. I used to go to chat rooms a lot and enjoy them but over the years I felt like I sucked even at that. The problem is we have low serotonin in our brains and just don't have the ability to bounce back after a bad experience which feeds into the negativity, but utilizing the power of serotonin really can save your life! If you want more info let me know.

Yes. In fact I often think of a topic I would like to post or answer a thread and I just won't. Too much energy to expend. If I do it will be terse

I cannot connect with anyone, whether it be online or offline.

Too many different factors for why.

Hello there,

I understand the situation you're in, I do. I've been where you are and still are to an extent, but I have evidence around me that represents that hiding away does not help in the long run. Yes, social encounters are hard and very draining, and yes, simply being out of the house invokes that dire sense of anxiety, and although these things aren't "normal" per se, they must definitely should not be ignored or hidden from view.

There are three responses to this dilemma as I see it. Firstly, complete withdrawal and utter isolation so there is no external aggravation that affects oneself. Secondly, there is dealing with it now, and suffering consequences later. Or Lastly, there is coming to understand that there is a dichotomy between doing too much and too little, and that there is room for a middle way; that of gently easing oneself into situations so one might be able to adjust to these things.

I myself have been through all of these responses. After secondary school and during college ... I just dealt with it, and because of it, suffered internally for many years ... which, needless to say, was horrific for me and people I knew. I went through the opposing force of depression, and withdrew completely from people, which too proved to only make things worth upon re-surfacing. I realised I needed to do something, so did 3 months volunteer work abroad ... which might seem to be the worst thing I could have done, but it was actually amazing.

In experience, I've learned to try and introduce a little here and there, but never force yourself, because that will almost certainly lead to a meltdown / shutdown and perhaps even more. There will be times when your hypersensitivites make it really difficult, or when associated conditions such as OCD or ADD might make your resolve weak, but keep in mind the set goal; to try and improve. I find it helps, too, in applying one's self-values towards the goal of improving, for instance, my prime value is the acquisition of knowledge, and knowledge can be found in all sources, thus, in retreating or avoiding sources, I'm ergo avoiding knowledge, and therefore avoiding exactly what I ... crave.

My dad, actually, is a morale booster in this regard ... albeit in an unorthodox way. He is proof that if you sit on your arse all day and don't do a thing, and if you lack the mental capability of reasoning with any degree of intellect, all that can come of the individual is a kind of cognitive atrophy; leaving but the hollow shell of some existent only there on the surface.

...

We're all here to help you out, I hope I helped in some way.