Is this weird?

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OK...it's been a solid three weeks since my diagnosis. I've been adjusting to seeing things through a different prism.

Sometimes when I see something, completely unrelated, the differences are striking.

Now, here's the stupid part. I was on da YouTube, trying to find something funny and thought, hey...Weird Al. I remember him being this crazy guy always submitting things to the Dr. Demento radio show I listened to. I find "Smells like Nirvana." Nice rockin' tune.

The parody lyrics in one part really struck me odd through this new prism.

It sorta reminds me of what it feels like when I have a meltdown.

Yeah, that does sound a lot like a meltdown or a sensory overload.

Some song lyrics that struck me as relatable were from Misery by Maroon 5:

"It's not that I didn't care it's that I didn't know.
It's not what I didn't feel it's what I didn't show."

I cannot express most, if not all, things without some sort of external reference.

So, anytime I find anything that resonates, I make note. This just struck me odd because until last night, it was just another novelty song that I really liked.

BUt, yeah, lyrics, movies, writings, TV...it doesn't matter. I just have to find a source.

"Many a truth is spoken in jest." wrote Shakespeare.

Weird Al may well have accidently hit upon a perfect musical depiction of what you and others feel when having meltdowns (though he probably wasnt going for that).

Both his spoof, and the original song he was spoofing ("Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvanna) have that feel of frustration-like the singer is trying to bust out of a straight jacket.

I'm going to agree completely with that. I'm not a huge Nirvana fan, but when Cobain hit that groove, it did speak to me. I just never realized why "Teen Spirit" resonated until you broke it out.

And, yep, Weird Al was poking fun at Cobain's singing (which Dave Grohl has said it bugged Cobain to no end while Grohl took it as a marker of 'having made it') but, it did find what I recognize in me.

Now, I have something to point towards when I get asked another question.

Edit: Gonna have to remember the Shakespeare line. It is a very short, cogent truth. Maybe why I like satire and parody so much.

Welcome to the spectrum zkydz!

LOL!! Yeah, I'm still in a huge discovery period.

But, in a way, it reminds me of when I went into rehab 18 years ago. I was warned that as your body readjusts to being 'non-medicated', the individual will think they are 'dying' (not literally, but that pain in your chest is not an impending heart attack, it's severe indigestion, dummy [me]....yes...had that explained to me in the ER once.....) as they rediscover new sensations that are normal.

In this case, I am trying to be vigilant and not just go overboard on every little thing being on the spectrum. You know..."Ooooo! Maybe I have ADD AND ADHD!! Yeah...THAT'S the ticket!"

Sometimes a banana is just a banana. I just gotta peel it back a bit and not step on it with extreme speculation.

But, I do love finding things like this. It's usually in the most odd places too. Like a bit of insight coming from a novelty song of all places. I've actually considered writing to him to let him know this. Somehow, I think he;d be the type of guy who could appreciate the irony. But, would he ever get it? I dunno...still vacillating on that one.

Hey, I'll eat the crumbs off the floor if I'm hungry.....And, I'm kinda hungry for answers right now. Just don't wanna eat the dust bunnies too.

I was little when I was diagnosed, so I never had a discovery period.

I wonder what that would be like. To know what you have to deal with from the start. It's something I will never be able to fully appreciate or truly understand.

But, it's been a weird 3 weeks. Even by my standards LOL

It's kinda hard to explain, I've been doing it for so long... You get used to seeing everything differently, thinking differently, feeling differently.

I understand the difficulty in explaining it. Just as I can;t explain how it feels from this end. BUt, I know a couple of late Dx people are having a bit of difficulty with things. The relief is there, but then what? I think that's where a lot of us are.

Really the only way to understand Autism is to be autistic. Too many people look from the outside in and their view is distorted by stygma and misunderstanding.

That's what's weird. I've been this way all my life. So....outside of the burnout and anxieties, I'm still me. But, having to view everything through this prism means I am looping extra hard to sort things with new information. It's stressing me out.

Make sense?

Depending on your resources, you may be able to remove annoyances and do things to simplify your life.

For instance, if ticking noises, bother you, Seiko makes really nice clocks with real hands that are totally silent.

You can buy ear protectors to use when doing noisy chores, like vacuuming the house.

You realize that it is perfectly normal (for an Aspie) to eat the same thing every day. This has a useful health and economic benefit--buying a quantity of something and regularly eating it until its gone reduces the chance of it spoiling and going to waste.

Ya it makes sense. What I think you should do is stop trying to see everything as an autistic and just see it like you used to. Autism dosnt change who you are, your still you, just with an autistic edge now.

Well, I have known since I was 6 but for 12 years I hardly knew anything about autism and I was in denial that it made me that different so my diagnosis didn't really help me much on a personal level. That is of course until I came out of denial a few months ago.