Anybody else had/has developmental delays?

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10 May 2016, 4:24 am

Did anybody else have developmental delays when growing up? (And perhaps later on)
By that, I don't necessarily mean a delay in intellectual devlelopment, but rather, a delay in hitting normal developmental milestones, or not hitting them at all.

As for me, my developmetal path was something along these lines:
-Learned to eat on my own, without assistance, by the age of 7
-Learned to dress myself fully, without assistance, by the age of 13, but still couldn't put my clothes back to where they belong, nor fold them (and very often, there were times when I needed assistance to dress or undress up until the age of ~15-16)
-Learned to take baths and showers independently by the age of 14
-Learned to fold my clothes and put them back (but I still struggle with that) by the age of ~18
-Started making my bed by the age of ~18-19
-Learned to go to the store on my own by the age of ~18-19

Apart from having a delay in hitting developmental milestones, I had a speech delay, my verbal communication skills aren't great and can regress from time to time (due to stress or sensory overload; but they improve again once the sensory overload is gone), and my social skills are virtually non-existent - as others have told me, they're on the level of a 3 year old child.

Can anybody else relate?



EzraS
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10 May 2016, 5:04 am

I would say my development timetable is kinda close, but lagging. I also have severe dyspraxia which adds to my difficulties in things like dressing and showering. So I still need to be helped and looked after like a little kid in a lot of ways.

I have my good days and bad days that make me more or less dependent. Still in the significant special needs category.



kraftiekortie
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10 May 2016, 5:36 am

I didn't speak until age 5 1/2.

I couldn't dress myself until age 6, had trouble with some things until much later--still have trouble tying ties.

Couldn't write until age 6.



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10 May 2016, 6:03 am

Don't think I did, maybe with less obvious things like math.



b9
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10 May 2016, 6:32 am

my main developmental delay is emotional ideation. i have never had a developed and complex emotional constitution.
i have never connected in any way other than a logical transactive way with other people.



Chichikov
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10 May 2016, 6:39 am

I don't fold my clothes, put things away or make my own bed and I'm over 40. Nothing to do with developmental delays, I'm just a lazy slob.

I'd say by definition if you are on the autistic spectrum you will have had some form of developmental delay given that that is the very nature of the syndrome. It's like asking swimmers if any have gotten wet. Maybe not as severe as the OP's delays, but delays nonetheless.



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10 May 2016, 11:25 am

I had a pervasive language delay and it took me longer to understand things and my reading comprehension was slow and my communication skills. I think it took me longer to develop TOM and I was always emotionally immature. I also started brushing my teeth late and my hair and I started washing my own hair at age ten and taking showers on my own without being told to do it. But I think everything else I did on my own such as feeding and dressing and washing hands going to the bathroom, wiping my butt, and I rode a bike at age six and tied my shoes at that age. I could also help myself to food at normal. I never had an issue with living skills. Mine was only with emotions and communication and language and social skills. But I was also academic delay but it might have been due to me being in a self contained classroom so I was behind and had to catch up but my language also had to do with it too so it did affect my learning and I wasn't able to grasp things as other kids on subjects and my reading comprehension and I was slow at math because I didn't have the problems memorized and I counted too fast and always got the answers wrong. Kids learn to do that all in first grade. I didn't because I was in a self contained classroom and they didn't teach me that. I still don't have them memorized except multiplication. And I also walked a little late but I crawled, sat up, took steps, on time.

I didn't get a boyfriend until age 20 and I didn't start dating until I was 21. I didn't get into sex until I was 18 or 19, I never hit the teen phase where they want parties all the time and do social chit chats and just hang out and I never did the sneaking out, I didn't start to outgrow playing with toys until age 15. I never got into make up, I started to get into fashion when I was 21 but it was only briefly. I didn't get into boys until high school.


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Leahcar
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10 May 2016, 1:22 pm

I said my first word when I was 5(?).
I learned how to dress independently when I was 9. I can't tie laces yet.
I learned how to wash my hair at 15. To this date I still can't dry it, style it, or brush it myself.
I still can't go anywhere outside of home on my own.


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Joe90
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10 May 2016, 4:30 pm

No, apparently I reached all my milestones on time when I was a baby/toddler. In fact I showed no difficulties or delays in anything until I was at least 5, which was intellectual things like reading and math and certain emotional behaviours (like still being prone to temper tantrums at the age of 9, even though I wasn't a spoiled child).

But with developmental milestone delays, I was fairly average with everything.

I smiled for the first time when I was about 4 weeks, sat up unassisted by 7 months, learned to crawl at about 9 months, learned to walk unassisted at 11 months (quite earlier than average), said my first word at 14 months, was potty-trained (day and night) at 22 months, and could string small sentences together at around 2 years.

With learning to dress myself and stuff, my mum hasn't got that written down, as she only recorded my baby development. I think I could dress myself at the average age, but sometimes was lazy and ran around the house in my pajamas or underwear until my mum gave up and dressed me. But I knew NT kids who behaved like that too.


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10 May 2016, 4:38 pm

Quote:
I didn't get a boyfriend until age 20 and I didn't start dating until I was 21. I didn't get into sex until I was 18 or 19,


That's not too late at all. When I was in high school the really popular girls were the ones who mostly had a boyfriend. Otherwise, most of the girls in my class had never kissed a boy or been asked on a date while still school-aged. Even at college it wasn't abnormal to not have had a date yet or had sex yet. Some girls haven't even had a boyfriend at 20. My cousin is nearly 19, is good-looking and socially active, but he's not really that bothered about a relationship with a girl yet. I don't think he's had sex either. But that is perfectly OK and not abnormal.
I had crushes on men since I was 13, but in reality I wasn't really ready for a serious relationship until I was about 22, even though I fantasized about men a lot. I'm in my first serious, mature relationship now, which started when I was 24. I first had sex at 23 (with a man who I wasn't exactly in a proper relationship with but I really liked him). Before then, I felt I wasn't ready for sex really. Not physically anyway.

I don't know why so many Aspies think that 99% of people have sex by 16 and have their first boy/girlfriend at 16. That is not true.


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TheAP
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10 May 2016, 4:45 pm

I didn't start brushing my teeth on my own until I was about 8, and stopped wearing pull-ups at night at about that time. I didn't start washing my own hair until I was about 13. I don't drive or cook or anything like that. So yes, I would say I have traditionally been behind at hitting certain developmental milestones.



kraftiekortie
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10 May 2016, 5:08 pm

I didn't get my drivers license until I was 37.



beneficii
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10 May 2016, 7:50 pm

Didn't put 2 words together till age 3-4 years. Was put into special ed in Kindergarten for behavior disorder and speech-language delay.


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10 May 2016, 8:47 pm

Ugh, my development is ALL over the place. : / sometimes it really gets me down, but I just try to accept that people don't always develop as nicely or well as those milestones suggest- especially when you categorically have a different development.
I didn't talk at all until 3, had very typical lack of engagement with people. NOT interested in people at all. Lots of stereotyped behavior and the like.
I didn't understand HOW and WHY of interacting with people truly until college. Still improving on it- until then it was all me monologuing and very very complex social scripts and echolalia basically. There was an intense lack of understanding there.

As a kid hygiene-wise I never learned how to brush my teeth/hair properly until like HS I had terrible face hygiene didn't/couldn't/would wash my face regularly because it hurt and was terrible- so I had bad acne!! I also was delayed in motor skills and functions- like tying my shoes/zippering coats/hand motions- totally fine now.

I felt for a LONG time that I never had a teenage phase, and even biologically I didn't completely finish growing and all that jazz until recently, I literally got taller body changed shape "filled out" more- look less like a gawky teen now lol. Stuff like that. Then when those physical changes took place... I suddenly became more interested in people/was more sexual etc. Took forever in my opinion lol. I'm like at the level of an average 16yr now even though I graduated college years ago!

I had up until recently horrible emotional control and just recently started to be able to tell emotional responses apart. Also started to feel more than one emotion at a time... the movie Inside out really threw me for a loop because I was like... is this what emotional "maturity" is supposed to look like- or the beginnings of it??? Are those the kind of emotional responses and memories people have of things??? It really made me think about what the emotional landscape of other people could or might be like.

I just started really learning true hygiene stuff like how to properly care for my hair and nails in particular like a couple months ago/still struggle with it sometimes.

Somehow, I still manage to put a good enough image to the public- even though I struggle with daily things like:

I have a hard time with simple things like getting laundry done/traveling anywhere/leaving the house/eating well.
I can't drive and consider it a success when I get to the grocery store or do something other than go to work and come back haha. I can't really handle my finances well either.



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10 May 2016, 9:08 pm

It took me quite a long time to be able to understand spoken instructions and then secondly, feel confident enough to pursue the task. also just to be able to comprehend spoken words in general, like, before I could read I genuinely thought that "speed limit" was "speed lemon" :D

I also didn't grow as quickly as others...I am naturally a small person but I'm talking about the rate of growth, like, I still looked like I was 2 when I was 5, and I didn't lose my baby teeth until years after everyone else my age that I knew. I'm not sure if any relation to autism, but I wonder if anyone else physically aged at a slower rate like me.

ah, I see the poster above me has also experienced this.



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10 May 2016, 9:41 pm

I had mild ones, except for speech and being underweight. Dyspraxia also made my speech unintelligible to most but my mom, until ages 10-11...even then, she couldn't understand everything. I have significant difficulties using/understanding social skills, problem solving, emotional control and definitely learning adult daily living skills.


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