Do I even have autism?

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Sometimes I wonder if I really don't have something else like bipolar or borderline personality disorder.

Can ASD and a psychotic disorder coexist?

I think so. There are a lot of comorbid disorders. You should have a psychologist/psychiatrist check you if you really feel like finding out.

It is totally possible.

They're not psychotic disorders though. Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder, and BPD is a personality disorder.
Various disorders can cohexist. It's called comorbidity. You could see a psychiatrist or psychologist and get checked.

thank you both so much!

Gives me hope that I can be treated.

Can we have some more information? What do you think needs to be treated?

There is no doubt that you are GRUE-some

Good luck in your quest.

lol!

paranoia, intermittent explosive disorder, hypersexuality, chemical dependence, narcissism, others... It's the IED part. It's getting abusive and I threatened violence against my 8 year old child. I would never have done that if I weren't in a psychotic state.

It needs to end. Now.

I just lack the skill.

Thing is, I sense I know what to do. I fear I'm too lazy to do it. Maybe my executive function is completely broken.

This is probably going to sound overly harsh, but I don't mean it in a cruel way. If you know what to do, then DO IT! Laziness is not an excuse, especially if there is a possibility that someone might get physically hurt from your behavior. You have a responsibility to your family to get the help you need. If you can't get yourself to do it, maybe someone else can do it for you. Example: If what you know you need to do is call a psychologist to get help but you can't bring yourself to pick up the phone, try talking to someone you know and asking them to call for you to make the appointment. It was very difficult for me to pick up the phone and call a psychologist to get diagnosed, even though I had researched a good one online who specialized in both autism and LGBT issues (I am gay). I KNEW I needed help, and I KNEW who to get it from, but it was still very hard to call. Once I got past the first appointment, going back was very easy. I did it, and so can you.

I would have to agree with Jimmy.

You must "take the bull by the horns" in this.

Do it for your kid. He doesn't deserve to be a victim of somebody's disorder. In a very small way, I was a victim of my mother's disorder (we get along now, though).

Do it for yourself. Because I know you don't want to hurt your kid. And I know you want to be happy.

And I know you don't want your kid taken away from you. And you don't want to be prosecuted and potentially have a criminal record.

By the way, I don't believe you're a bad person. In fact, I admire your honesty in opening up to us like this. If I were your friend, I would stay your friend, and try to help you.

Number one, I agree with Kraftie. As usual. Kraftie and I should never be supreme court justices together. We would always vote the same way.

I AM a little torn on what you're saying, Grue. I think you're knowledgeable and are not talking about these labels lightly. I know I'm responding to what you said in another thread, but since you have drastically improved your physical and mental health over the past year, with giving up sugar and TV and etc, I kind of wonder if those things weren't serving a purpose. For example, I'm both physically and emotionally addicted to coffee. I'm physically addicted to the caffeine, but I also find something comforting in a cup of coffee- even just holding the warm cup. So if I'm stressed out or upset, I will make myself a cup, even if "a calming cup of coffee" may not make a lot of sense. Maybe sometime in you is saying, GIVE ME SOMETHING! Some of these things you mentioned could very well take the place of an addictive behavior or substance. And some are subtly harmful, so we may not fully understand what doing without them does. I don't know what giving up TV does. It may make you obsess on thoughts or watch people in ways that replace the repetitive TV cycles. It may take a while to fully detox.

As to the thing with your kid- I don't know specifically what you said or did. So I can't tell if it was a serious mistake or if it just feels that way. It could be that you need to talk to someone. There may be something going on, but it could also be that you're just stressed out. Maybe you need to learn how to walk away, or replace some of these previous behaviors that were harmful with good ones, like taking a walk or meditating.