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FlySwine
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26 May 2016, 5:18 pm

Do you instinctively seek other's people gaze when talking to them, as in you feel the need to gauge their reaction to what you are saying?

Did you use to negatively overinterpret social cues, such as believing neutral, serious, worried or dumbfounded faces convey a feeling of anger at you?

As a child, if strangers smiled at you in the street, did you believe they were laughing at you?

When you walk in the street, do you look around a lot to check whether someone is giving you weird looks?



skibum
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26 May 2016, 5:31 pm

1st question - no not always. Sometimes I do but it's pretty rare. I can talk to them just fine without that. I actually prefer not looking at them sometimes because it is easier.

2nd question - yes and I still do that.

3rd question - no

4th question - no I don't really care what looks they have and I don't always understand the looks anyway.


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FlySwine
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26 May 2016, 5:34 pm

ok, maybe i'm rather on the schizophrenia spectrum than on the autistic one.



ToughDiamond
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26 May 2016, 6:47 pm

No, no, not necessarily, and no.



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26 May 2016, 7:05 pm

FlySwine wrote:
Do you instinctively seek other's people gaze when talking to them, as in you feel the need to gauge their reaction to what you are saying?


No, or rarely.

FlySwine wrote:
Did you use to negatively overinterpret social cues, such as believing neutral, serious, worried or dumbfounded faces convey a feeling of anger at you?


Sometimes it happens with my mom and I.

FlySwine wrote:
As a child, if strangers smiled at you in the street, did you believe they were laughing at you?


No, I would just look away from them.

FlySwine wrote:
When you walk in the street, do you look around a lot to check whether someone is giving you weird looks?


No, I don't want anyone to think I'm staring.


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mikeman7918
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26 May 2016, 9:22 pm

FlySwine wrote:
Do you instinctively seek other's people gaze when talking to them, as in you feel the need to gauge their reaction to what you are saying?

No, I rarely even look people in the eye.

Quote:
Did you use to negatively overinterpret social cues, such as believing neutral, serious, worried or dumbfounded faces convey a feeling of anger at you?

When I actually notice those things (which doesn't happen very often) then I generally don't overly analyze them them, but usually things like that just go over my head.

Quote:
As a child, if strangers smiled at you in the street, did you believe they were laughing at you?

I usually look at the ground when I walk, so I was (and still am) unlikely to notice if someone smiled at me. If I did notice then I would just look away and think nothing of it.

Quote:
When you walk in the street, do you look around a lot to check whether someone is giving you weird looks?

No, not at all.


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lenticularcloud
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26 May 2016, 9:37 pm

1. for me it tdepends on what im talking about. if im telling a story i try to see the reaction of the person im talking to

2. i still do. constantly its horrible

3. i didnt think anything of it at all

4. no because what if they are. it will hurt my feelings



Inami_Salami
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27 May 2016, 12:37 am

It sounds like the issue isn't specifically with ASD but more so on the related social anxiety. I've faced a lot of these in the past (and honestly still do to an extent). Or, like you said may be some other underlying issue like schizophrenia but I hesitate to jump to conclusions :)



FlySwine
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27 May 2016, 2:04 am

so i take it you are not diagnosed with asperger



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27 May 2016, 3:18 am

I am much more attuned to listening for nuances in the tones of voice, and give that much more inner attention than things like gaze in the context of conversations. I have a sensitive ear for sounds, and tone works as a more reliable guide to the real feelings and reaction of the other person for me.



Raleigh
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27 May 2016, 4:38 am

FlySwine wrote:
Do you instinctively seek other's people gaze when talking to them, as in you feel the need to gauge their reaction to what you are saying?
No.
FlySwine wrote:
Did you use to negatively overinterpret social cues, such as believing neutral, serious, worried or dumbfounded faces convey a feeling of anger at you?
No.
FlySwine wrote:
As a child, if strangers smiled at you in the street, did you believe they were laughing at you?
No.
FlySwine wrote:
When you walk in the street, do you look around a lot to check whether someone is giving you weird looks?
No.


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LittleLu
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27 May 2016, 8:57 am

FlySwine wrote:
Do you instinctively seek other's people gaze when talking to them, as in you feel the need to gauge their reaction to what you are saying?

Did you use to negatively overinterpret social cues, such as believing neutral, serious, worried or dumbfounded faces convey a feeling of anger at you?

As a child, if strangers smiled at you in the street, did you believe they were laughing at you?

When you walk in the street, do you look around a lot to check whether someone is giving you weird looks?

No.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

:P I was diagnosed with serious general anxiety disorder in '09, and felt almost all these things. So I feel like you might possess some traces of anxiety. I always felt like the weird one growing up, so I was very self conscious about how people saw me. I was terrified of strangers, and if they smiled at me, I would hide my face or (usually) cry. The only reason I marked no on the first question is because I don't seek attention from other people. Whether they listen to me or not is their own problem. It's a little frustrating if they're not paying attention to what I'm saying, but if that's the case I usually just talk to myself later to sort out my thoughts on my own...

However just because a lot of people aren't like this doesn't mean you may not be autistic. I possess a voracious amount of seriously autistic traits, so I'd recommend looking at the rest of your life. How do you act when you're alone? Do you stim and how regularly in order to cope? Do you have trouble understanding what other people are saying even if they repeat it to you several times over? Do you have sensory problems? (I know this isn't all consistent in all autistics and there are a lot more symptoms, but those are some I have specifically.) It could just be that you don't have the glaring aspects of Aspergers, which limits your socially empathic connection to people (usually).


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27 May 2016, 9:44 am

Supposedly, according to academic studies, autistic people do tend to judge social reactions more negatively than non-autistic people. I'm not sure that this is an innate functioning of being autistic. I think it might be more based on a person's individual experience. So autistic people learn to become suspicious of others because they are a minority class. Just like a black child in a white neighborhood learns what being black means because of how people treat her. She learns that some people are racist and others are not and she'll look out for that. So it's normal to be suspicious of others if you are a minority.

I think it also changes with age. The older people get the more accurate their judgments of others are.



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27 May 2016, 9:47 am

I occasionally look at someone I know, to see if they react to something I said. When I look at someone's face, I receive little information: I can recognize happiness and know what tears are for. When someone is serious, I have to ask (though not every time).
Looking around at people going by, I don't notice their face...if I do, I forget immediately after.


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Nicola2206
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27 May 2016, 10:01 am

FlySwine wrote:
Do you instinctively seek other's people gaze when talking to them, as in you feel the need to gauge their reaction to what you are saying?

Did you use to negatively overinterpret social cues, such as believing neutral, serious, worried or dumbfounded faces convey a feeling of anger at you?

As a child, if strangers smiled at you in the street, did you believe they were laughing at you?

When you walk in the street, do you look around a lot to check whether someone is giving you weird looks?


1. usually, and I don't always understand their reaction
2. yes
3. sometimes
4. no, I don't really care about people's looks now


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north404
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31 May 2016, 12:16 am

1. I glance at them rather frequently, yes. I can't really maintain eye contact without losing my train of thought and stuttering even more, but I do tend to glance and see if I'm being ignored or not. I'd get a bit annoyed if they do seem to be ignoring me, but I'd never express it; just feel insulted and hurt inside lol

2. I wouldn't necessarily see them as feelings of anger towards me, but I do/did negatively over-interpret them and assume (perhaps correctly) that they have picked up that I'm not normal and may be trying to be polite about it (if neutral faced). Which hurts because I just wish I can smoothly blend in with others and not stand out as the odd one out, but evidently I'm marked and people have an idea before I even speak.

3. Yes. And I've recently found out they usually are - a lot of smirking moreorless.

4. No. I try to mind about my business and reach my destination lol. I usually just have headphones on and have my head low but I'm trying to walk with my head held up high and improve my posture/exude some confidence - without necessarily looking at others and their potential reactions.