Does this sound like Aspergers?

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Hello everyone I'm new here ! I'm a 23 year old female, mother, and student. I strongly believe I have Aspergers or something similar. I first thought I could have BPD, but Aspergers seems to describe me better. I have always felt different and felt as if I didn't belong on this planet. . The regular demands of life are so frustrating to me. It's like I can't keep up. I'm always frustrated about little things, which is why I tend to be more introverted. I like the peace of being alone and letting my mind get lost with whatever it is that I'm working on. My mom told me that when I was younger I had a big issue with socks. If I could feel the seam I would go crazy and even be late for school lol. We were not leaving the house until my socks were right ! I still don't like seams in my socks to this day. My daughter is the exact same way with her socks. Another thing is my ears. If there is loud music and people are talking also, both of my ears or my left ear alone starts to buzz. Everyone else seems perfectly fine while I'm standing there with my finger in my ear or both ears. For example, when I was going through my trying to fit in stage I was out with a group of girls with the music loud in the car and we were talking. My ears started to hurt and I just sat there and suffered because I didn't want them to think I'm weird for asking to turn the music down. Also, I can't take people breathing on me. It's something about the feeling of the breath on my skin. If I'm cuddling or laying with my daughter or anyone and I feel their breath on my neck or something I have to change positions. I can't stand the feeling. Is this normal ?

My relationships with people aren't so great. Especially with other women. I never fit in. It's like I don't know what to talk about with them unless we're talking about me specifically or something I am interested in. I have more male friends than female friends. At jobs, my bosses or managers never like me. Mainly because they start to think that I don't care because of my lack of work ethic. It's not that I don't care I just feel like I have so much going on. I work, school, have a kid, and I have more than one job so I have no time to do what I'm interested in and it stresses me out. I'm happiest when I'm doing things I love. I feel like I only have time to focus on one thing and everything else suffers. All my life growing up my friends, family, etc would jokingly call me "slow,blonde,ditsy" even though I was super book smart and did great in school. I was always told I "lacked common sense." I even had a teacher tell me this in high school. My speech has never been perfect. My mom put me in acting classes and I learned how to enunciate my words, but even still I still stutter sometimes or jumble my words together. Especially when I'm in a little group of people (3-5) and the spotlight is on me. Its not excessive , but if Im not trying then I'll stutter a little bit.

I avoid social gatherings or hanging out especially when Im fixated on something. Even if I've already planned to go out. I just become so stuck on something that It's literally the only thing that matters at that time. My hygiene Isn't that great all the time. Ill definitely skip showers and forget to brush my teeth on some days.

Another thing is switching routines. I always tell people that I love my routine and part of the reason I'm single is because I like MY routine. This is why when I have too many social obligations I get frustrated. Because it's a total break from my routine and I have to get out of my bubble and socialize. Speaking of socializing, after about an hour I'm ready to go home and recharge. It's like socializing takes out all of my energy.

My close male friends call me "weird" and I really don't know why. It's usually when I start going on about something related to science. I can go on and on about things I love.

I'm very sensitive and emotional. Scenes in movies will make me cry, the news, the evil in the world. I feel like I feel everything more than other people. When Im around people and I feel like someone has said something wrong to me or rude I have to hold back tears so no one thinks I'm a crazy cry baby. I prefer one on one hanging out over being in groups because I like connecting when I'm in a social mood.

Anytime I try to get in a relationship its not long after that the guy notices that I'm distant. One way or another, the guy eventually notices this and calls it out as me being distant or self centered. Even if I really like him. I just don't see the need to hang out or talk all the time.

As I get older, I feel like my symptoms are getting worse. I struggle to keep up with the demands of being an adult. It comes off as procrastination or laziness. I know this is why usually my managers at work don't particularly like me.


Theres probably so much more I can say, but I strongly believe I have Aspergers. Any advice on how to go about trying to get a diagnoses? I know it will be difficult as I am African American, female, and think I have Aspergers. Will this be impossible ?

Woah woah woah, why would your race be a factor? I never heard that before. I ask because I am not white, I'm First Nations and I am diagnosed with no issues. The biggest issue with diagnoses for you won't be your background but your gender, girls present differently than boys and it can be hard for evaluators to spot if they aren't experienced.

Based on everything you wrote I would say that you would benefit from seeing a psychologist and getting everything straightened out.

Also, were you diagnosed borderline or bipolar?

Agreed. Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Narcistic Personality Disorder, and even Schizophrenia should be ruled out first.

Race is also a factor in diagnosis.
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